The Bookworm's Guide to Faking It (The Bookworm's Guide 2)

“Taken up residence in their brain, because they are quackers,” Kinsley muttered back.

“Amos, be careful!” I rushed to his side and reached him just as he steadied himself. “Maybe you should put the duck down.”

“Don’t be silly. I’m fine.” He brushed off my concern. “Where’s my grandson?”

“At his doctor appointment,” I replied, taking Cheese the duck from him.

That was a bad idea.

“Uh, what do I do with the duck?” I held her at arm’s length. Thankfully, her wings were pinned under my hands so she couldn’t flap. That didn’t stop her doing her best to try and get away from the weird stranger holding her.

Kinsley pulled out her phone and held it up in my direction.

I glared directly at her camera. “I’m going to kill you.”

“I know.” She grinned before she tucked it back in her pocket. Unlike me, she was wearing gloves that reacted to the touchscreen of her phone because she was smart.

“Help me,” I whimpered.

“What the—”

I turned at the faint sound of Sebastian’s voice. “Help me!” I shouted at him.

Hey, he was my fake boyfriend. He could real life rescue me right now and look good.

“Why are you holding a duck?” he asked as he approached us all.

“Your grandfather was holding it and it seemed dangerous.” I glanced at Cheese. “Although this doesn’t seem much safer.”

Seb took Cheese from me, his fingers brushing mine, and put the duck down. Cheese quacked loudly and ran away with her wings flapping, presumably to warn all the other ducks that there was a crazy lady who was a little afraid of ducks.

And then there was Mabel. Who was just a crazy lady.

“Oh, Sebastian!” Mabel cried. “We didn’t put her coat on!”

Seb blinked. “Her what?”

“Her coat,” Randy replied dryly. “Is it time for The Price is Right yet? I’m freezing my nipples off out here.”

Kinsley’s cheeks reddened. “Grandpa, that’s inappropriate.”

“So is the fact you came without my whisky.”

“Who said I came without whisky?”

“The new girl is a real stickler for the rules,” he said, wiggling one gloved finger at her. “She searches bags and purses and probably assholes, if the FBI asked her nicely.”

That was a visual I didn’t need.

“No, she doesn’t.” Kinsley held up her purse and gave it a gentle shake. “Not mine, anyway. I think you all scared her with the ducks.”

Amos tilted his chin up. “You got whisky?” He looked at Sebastian. “You don’t bring me whisky. Why not?”

Seb blinked. “Because your doctor said you can’t drink whisky.”

“My doctor is an idiot,” Amos whispered, not at all that quietly.

Seb rolled his eyes.

“Aren’t you going to say hello to your girlfriend? I bet she thinks my doctor is an idiot.” Amos looked at me. “Don’t you think my doctor is an idiot?”

“I don’t—I don’t know your doctor,” I replied after a moment.

“He still hasn’t said hello to you.”

“He saved me from a duck. We’re good.”

“He has no manners. He was raised better than that.”

“Oh, Jesus Christ.” Seb stepped forward and cupped the back of my head, then smacked a kiss against my lips. “Hello, sweetheart.”

I blinked at him.

Did he just—

Kinsley’s eyes widened, but her lips twitched up like she was desperately trying to stop a laugh bursting out of her.

“Is that better, Grandpa?”

Mabel’s eyes narrowed. “Why does Holley look like she’s just shit herself?”

Because Holley might as well have, Mabel.

“Teeth clashed,” Sebastian said quickly, touching his hand to his mouth in a convincing display of sensitive teeth. He quickly dropped the act and flashed Mabel a panty-melting grin. “How are you, Mabel?”

The old woman melted.

This was ridiculous.

She giggled.

“Oh, dear God,” Kinsley muttered, echoing my very thoughts. “Grandpa, yes, The Price Is Right is on now. Started a few minutes ago. Shall we go in?”

Randy answered in the affirmative and took her arm to steady himself on the cold ground, then bade us goodbye and went inside with her.

Mabel looked at Sebastian and fluttered her eyelashes that were thick with brown mascara. “I’m better now I’ve seen you.”

Gag me.

Amos shuddered. “Holley, do you like The Price is Right?”

“I don’t mind it,” I said carefully.

“Excellent. Then let’s go and watch it and discuss my rude grandson.”

I really, really didn’t want to do that.

Alas, I had no choice.

Amos grabbed me and dragged me with all his might back toward the building where it was warm and the daily game show was on.

I don’t know why he thought we’d get seats now. It showed how new he was—if you were more than two minutes late to the daily showing of the game show, you were shit out of luck for a seat.

“Oh no, my coats!”

We stopped at Mabel’s pained exclamation. Turning, I saw that the coats for her beloved ducks were strewn across the grass, and one was rolling like a tumbleweed as a gust of wind caught it just right and sent it flying through the air.