Off Limits (Off 2)

I don't look back.

When I get in my apartment, I double lock the door and slide the security chain. I engage the security alarm, something I never do while I'm inside. Throwing my purse down, I kick my heels off and walk to the window that faces the street. I can't see Todd but Nix is still there, just sitting in his Bronco. He's clearly waiting to make sure Todd doesn't come back and it provides me with amazing comfort.

***

I finish with a shower and put on a pair of old sweats and a t-shirt. After brushing my hair out, I head into the kitchen to get something to eat. As I'm toasting a bagel, Fil walks into the kitchen. She looks rough.

"How do you feel, Steak-Um?"

She glares at me because she hates that nickname but also because she's quite hung over.

"I feel like crap. How was your night?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you." I hold up the toasted bagel and she nods, grabbing it out of my hand. "Do you want some cream cheese too?"

She groans. Dried bread product is all her stomach can apparently handle. Taking a seat at our little kitchen table she repeats, "So, how was your night?"

I bring my bagel to the table and sit across from her. "Well, let's see...after you left, Tina and Tonya ditched me and left me with a guy that wouldn't take no for an answer. So I called Nix to come get me. It took Nix awhile to get there but luckily I was able to avert rape before he showed up by biting a hole in the guy's tongue. I still had to stop Nix from beating the shit out of the guy though. Then he took me home with him. That's about it in a nutshell. The end."

Her eyebrows shoot straight up, a piece of bagel halfway to her mouth. "You're shittin' me, right?"

"Nope."

"Okay, okay...start over. Full story, top to bottom. And I want details. Technicolor details."

I fill her in on everything that happened last night and this morning. She wants to immediately rush out of the apartment and kick Tina and Tonya's asses for ditching me, but I convince her it wasn't their fault. I mean, up until then, James had seemed perfectly nice. Fil then wants to go hunt Todd down and kick his ass. I tell her it's just not worth it.

"So why did you go home with Nix? Why didn't he just drop you here? It's close to the club," she asks.

I shrug. I have no clue why he wanted to take me to his place but I also know that it never even crossed my mind to decline. I knew I was safe with him, and it just seemed like the right thing to do. The man was fascinating times ten and I suppose I wanted an opportunity to learn more about him.

"Oh, my God. You like him, don't you?"

"Of course I like him. He's a nice guy. He saved me last night."

"Don't be a dumbass. You know what I mean. You like him, like him. I mean, last night, I was really just teasing you about liking him, but now I mean it. You really like him! You feel something for him."

"I do not. I'm just...weirdly attracted to him, that's all. He's like the forbidden fruit."

"And you want to pluck his tree." Fil bursts out laughing over her own double entendre then clutches her temple because that apparently aggravated her hangover headache.

I snicker then I start laughing. When I finally quiet down, I look at her soberly. "Fil...there is something about him..."

She cocks her head at me. "What do you mean?"

"I don't know. He has this really hard exterior, and he's hard to get close to. There's definitely something that keeps him from forging relationships. It makes me want to...I don't know...hug him?"

I ask it as a question, because I'm not really sure that is what I mean. For all of Nix's tough act, there is a vulnerability there hovering just below the surface. And I want to pick at it until I expose it. Then I want to kiss it.

And other things.

Fil and I head into the living room and we spend the rest of the day watching movies on TMC. I check my phone occasionally expecting a text or call from Todd. He's surprisingly quiet and that doesn't make me feel better. It makes me think he's up to something...like planning.

CHAPTER 12

Nix

I sit outside of Emily's apartment for a good twenty minutes to make sure her ex-douche doesn't come back. It occurs to me I don't even know his name, and I obviously don't give a shit. Ex-douche is good enough for me. Once I'm satisfied he won't return, I head back to Linc's place to take a shower and do some laundry. Then I load Harley up in the truck and we head out to my dad's place.

I usually try to spend most Sunday's with him. My pop is the only one, other than Linc, who knows the real me.

Hank Caldwell is a great father. At sixty-two, he's a little bit older than my other friends' parents. Well, when I say other friends, I mean those I had in high school. I really don't have any friends now, other than a few Marine buddies that I keep in touch with via text and email.

My father had a previous marriage that had faltered then disintegrated before he married my mother. That marriage had lasted for eight years before it ended in a bitter divorce. I don't know all the details but mom told me once, before she died, that dad had wanted lots of kids and his first wife didn't want any. That was apparently a recipe for disaster in a marriage.

Dad met and married my mom, Carolyn, just a few years after his divorce and I came along a scant nine months later. My dad apparently didn't want to waste any time in the baby making department. Linc came along two years later.

My mom died of ovarian cancer when I was just ten. My memories of her are fuzzy but they are warm. Dad raised us on his own after that, never falling in love again. He said he'd never find another woman like his Caro.

My dad provided a solid home for me and Linc. There may not have been a lot of money, but there was a lot of love and a lot of happiness. Dad worked his ass off to support us, putting in sixty plus hours a week at the shipyard. The crazy coot still works there. Linc and I have been on him trying to get him to retire but he won't listen to us. I think he's afraid that if he stops working, he'll die or something.

I pull into dad's driveway...my childhood home. It hasn't changed much over the years. Dad keeps it spruced up with help from me and Linc. It's a small, two bedroom bungalow that sits on about a quarter acre of land. The paint on the eaves and shutters is fresh, thanks to a working party we had last summer. The siding is clean and free from mold thanks to my dad's favorite tool...a portable pressure washer.

Harley runs to the front door before I can even get the door to the truck closed and barks. My dad opens it up, giving Harley an affectionate squeeze. He holds the screen door open for me and we give each other a half hug with lots of back pounding as I walk in.

I follow dad back to the living room and he already has two boxes of Giovanni's pizza on the coffee table and a cooler of beer sitting beside it. I reach in and pull out a bottle, grab a slice of pizza and sit on the couch. Dad is in his recliner that looks like it's about a hundred and fifty years old. Linc was going to buy him a new one a few years ago and he chewed Linc out for even thinking about it. He loves that old beast of a chair like it's one of his own kids.

We spend the next few hours watching the Jets get pounded by the Patriots so we are both left in a semi-bad mood. Dad doesn't help things when he asks, "Are you going to go back to see Dr. Antoniak?"

I try not to stiffen up because I know my dad is only asking because he cares. But he and Linc both know this is a touchy subject with me.

"I don't think so."

Dad stays silent and I can tell he's debating whether to push the subject. He decides to leave it alone but comes circularly at me.

"How about Paul? Have you talked to him lately?"

Fuck! Why can't he leave this shit alone? But I take in a deep breath and exhale it slowly through my nose. My fingers absently rub Harley's head as he sits beside me on the couch. I respect my dad too much to let loose on him. It's not a privilege I give anyone else, including Linc.

"No, Pop. He's called a few times but I've been busy."

My dad doesn't hold back. "You ne

ed to call him back. Better yet, get off your ass and go see him."

I sigh. "I know. I'll call him, okay?"

Sitting up in his recliner, my dad leans forward. He has that serious look on his face and he's staring me dead in the eyes. I want to turn my head, to avoid what he's going to say, but I won't puss out.

"Son...you need to do something about this. I'm worried about you. You know I only push at you because I love you, right?"