Off Course (Off 4)

I was helping to stock beer and looked up at him, trying to wipe any evidence off my face. He was looking at me with a grin, and I couldn't help but let one loose back at him.

Busted.

I didn't even bother responding and went back to laying bottles in the cooler.

"He's a good boy," Keefe said.

"Man," I amended. "He's a good man."

Keefe chuckled. "He'll always be a boy to me in some respects. Just like Cady will always be my little girl."

I pulled my body out of the cooler, as I had to lean halfway in to reach the bottom row. Wiping my hands on my jeans, I tell him, "He told me about his parents...what happened to them."

Keefe's eyebrows rocketed upward. "Did he now?"

I nodded. "I'm amazed at how well he's coped with it."

A sage look came over Keefe's face and he tweaked me under the chin. "He has, Renner, darling. But I'm not sure you ever really get over something like that. You just try to handle it the best way you can. Be respectful of that. I love that boy as if he's my own, but there's still an unsettled quality about him that drives a lot of what he does. Just be aware, okay?"

I wasn't sure what he was trying to tell me at the time, but the more I thought about it, I think it has everything to do with this insatiable need he has to keep Maeve on the straight and narrow. But him telling me to be respectful of Cillian's past has me more certain than ever I shouldn't stir the pot about Maeve.

Cady's voice breaks into my thoughts. "So, anyway... like I was saying, I think the best thing we can do is poison her. There are a ton of ways we can play it. I bet we can even get her to come eat at The Hibernian and slip some rat poison in her food."

"What?" I say, stunned by her words.

"Aha! I knew you weren't listening to me. You had that faraway look in your eyes. Dreaming about some naked Cillian, were you?"

"Of course not. I was thinking about your dad."

Mock disgust overtakes her face and her nose crinkles. "Not naked, I hope."

"You're a pervert of the extraordinary variety," I tell her laughing. "No, I was just thinking about some advice your dad gave me about Cillian the other day."

"I love my Da," she says. "He gives the best advice. So impart to me."

"He just warned me not to forget that Cillian's past dictates a lot of who he is, and that I shouldn't forget it."

Cady nods in agreement. "So you know what happened to his parents?"

"Yeah," I say quietly. "He told me... all about his childhood, and what happened later."

"He doesn't talk about it. I tried to once, after the funerals, but he shut me down quick. Da told me to let him be and if he wanted to talk, he would. But he never has and I've let it go."

Surely, the fact that Cillian shared those painful memories meant something. It doesn't appear that he's really told anyone else these details. But sometimes, that knowledge feels like a burden because it dictates a lot of the way I am handling my relationship with him.

Glancing at my watch, I see I only have an hour to get ready before Cillian arrives so I shoo Cady out the door and head to the bathroom so I can take a shower.

CHAPTER 22

Cillian

God, I'm a nervous wreck. I don't know what possessed me to agree to a double date with Maeve, but every terrible scenario I could imagine happening has been running through my head. I want to take Renner, looking completely edible in her little black dress, and leave...forget this whole stupid idea.

When Maeve approached me, I was wary of her request. But she went on and on about this guy that she had hooked up with, and how much she liked him, and that she wanted me to meet him. And I thought...finally, maybe she'll turn some of her attention his way. I thought maybe she was finally getting her life back in order.

It made me forget some of the weird conversations we've had the last week. She calls and texts constantly, which borders on overbearing because we're working together every day with the rest of the band. It means that I probably talk to Maeve more than I do Renner on any given day.

When we're in my apartment working, she's also taken to asking more questions about Renner. Most of it innocent enough, like where she's from and what her family is like. But sometimes she's highly inappropriate. She was the last one to leave one afternoon, and we were chitchatting and, right out of the blue, she asked me what our sex life was like. She wanted to know if it was as good as what we had together.

My jaw about hit the floor when she asked, and the first thoughts that jumped into my head were, "It's not as good as what we had, it's a fucking million times better," but of course I could never say that to her. Instead, I cursed at her and told her that was none of her business and to stay away from that shit.

She didn't even bother to look apologetic and just shrugged her shoulders, as if was no big deal. Then she gave me a quick hug and left.

It only took us about forty-five minutes to get to Bray, where we were meeting Maeve and her date for dinner. Renner was noticeably quiet during the drive, but I was lost in my thoughts, too. When we park, I turn in my seat to face her. "Are you okay with this?"

She gives me a warm smile and it eases some of my tension. "It's a little late to be asking that, Cillian, but yes... this is fine. It will be fun and I'm curious to meet Maeve's date."

Truth be told, so am I. She didn't tell me much other than they had dated for a year at the end of secondary school but had lost touch over the years. She apparently ran into him at the market last week and had hooked back up. Which in Maeve language means they were fucking, I'm sure.

We walk into the restaurant and I give my name to the Maitre D'. We've apparently arrived first and we're shown to a secluded table, which I had requested near the back, where floor-to-ceiling windows overlook the setting sun on the Irish Sea.

By unspoken agreement and I assume in deference to Maeve, we both order some sparkling water to drink and talk quietly while we wait.

Maeve and her date finally show up about twenty minutes late and she looks great. Like me, she didn't bother to dress up but such is the way of rock stars I guess. She's wearing a pair of tight black jeans with some kind of mesh black top and a leather jacket. Her eyes are bright and cheery.

She introduces us to her date... Brady Something-or-Other, and I can tell there's something off about him immediately. He talks a little too loud and I have to wonder if he's been drinking, so I keep a close eye on him. They sit down. Renner is on my right and Maeve to my left, Brady sitting across from me. He immediately orders a Guinness but Maeve sticks to water.

It's awkward at first, or so it seems to me, but eventually the conversation gets going, mostly due in part to Renner's attempts to engage Brady in conversation.

"So what do you do, Brady?"

I don't particularly like the way the guy sort of leers at Renner, even glancing down a few times to her cleavage. "Ah... what don't I do, should be the question. I'm actually working two jobs now... I bartend at night and during the day I work at a delivery service."

"I work at The Hibernian," she says kindly, "so I have a fond appreciation for bartenders."

"And I have a fond appreciation for the pretty waitresses," he says, giving her a suggestive look and leaning toward her. My fists clench under the table but then he pulls away and turns to Maeve. "But none of them compare to my Maeve, now, do they?"

He punctuates that statement by leaning toward her and grabbing the back of her head. He gives her a pornographic kiss and even groans out loud.

I shoot Renner a glance and she rolls her eyes back at me, causing my lips to turn up at the over-the-top ludicrousness of this dude.

After Maeve and Brady disconnect their tongues, we actually lapse into a reasonably normal conversation about the town of Bray. It seems Brady worked as a tour guide in this area at one point and he fascinates us about the region's history while he pounds his beer.

The guy is kind of a gobshite, but at least he's entertaining. As he's telling Renner about Bray Head and

some of the hiking opportunities, I steal a glance at Maeve. My blood turns a little icy when I see she is pinning Renner with a disdainful look. I can't tell if she's mad that Renner is talking to her date, or if she just dislikes her that much.

Her eyes flick to mine and she smiles in a cold way. "You remember that time you took me to Kinsale?"

She says it loud enough that it breaks into the conversation between Renner and Brady. Everyone turns to look at her.

"Yes," I say carefully. It was about a month after we started sleeping with each other.

"Remember how we couldn't keep our hands off each other?" Her words are hard and bitter.

"Maeve," I warn her. "That's inappropriate."

She leans toward me, laying one arm on the table. I pin her with a glare, but she continues, her voice now soft and sultry. Her eyes gleaming. "Come on, Cillian. We fucked like animals. Remember how we stole down to the beach at midnight, and you took me right at the water's edge? I know someone saw us that night and it made even more exciting. Surely you remember that?"

"Maeve! That's enough," I snarl. I look to Renner and her face is chalk white, her hands gripping the edge of the table.

"Or what about the time after the show in Benicassim... you tied me to the bed and we broke the headboard. That was fucking amazing... you were fucking amazing."

My hand shoots across the table and I grip her wrist. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

She gives a hollow laugh but then lowers her voice, so she's whispering... her eyes locked with mine. "Or the time I went down on you in the--"