Domination (Explicitly Yours 2)

Lola thought immediately of his cock, how large it’d been in her hand, how it’d dominated her mouth. It wasn’t what she’d meant, but she had a feeling Vero was thinking the same thing. “More. Sometimes it was like he knew me better than I knew myself. Like he’d memorized a map beforehand or something. And not just of my body. It—I can’t really put it into words.”

“I can. Basically he fucked your brains out.”

Lola was done blushing. This time she tutted at Vero, but she said, “Right out of my head.”

“Damn.” Vero shrugged. “That’s all I got, just—damn. He must’ve been something else.”

“He was. Just don’t mention any of this to Johnny.”

“How’s he taking it?”

“I’m not sure.” Lola glanced over at her boyfriend. He was laughing with a table of customers she didn’t recognize. He always made people feel at home. “He’s been pretty quiet about it. I’m just glad he’s getting all this.”

“He’ll do great, the bastard,” Vero said. “Give it some time, though. Guess that’s all you can do now. Don’t overthink things.”

Don’t overthink things. Lola had tried to erase Beau’s text message and his number. Each time, she hesitated until the screen went black. His number within reach—that felt like thinking about him. Like he was right there. Once she erased it, he would be gone. Officially.

When the bar was at its busiest a few hours later, Lola snuck out back for a cigarette. She’d assumed no one would notice, but Johnny opened the door a minute later. He looked around until he spotted her leaning against the building’s brick wall.

“You all right?” he asked, coming over. “Been a while since you had one of those.”

She nodded. “Are you?”

“I’m fine.”

She offered him the cigarette, and he took a drag. “I’ve missed that,” he said with his exhale.

“Tell me about it.”

“Look at us,” he said. “We’re buying a business. We quit smoking. We’re adults.”

“When did that happen?”

“Fuck if I know. We had fun, though. Think we’re still fun?”

“Fun adults? I think the two are mutually exclusive.”

He smiled. “Yeah. Last week I told Tom if he opened the bar late one more time, I’d beat his ass. I’m my dad.”

Lola laughed. “You even sound like him when you say it.”

Johnny put the cigarette to his lips. He had that far off look in his eyes she’d been seeing too much of lately.

“What’s going on, Johnny?” she asked. “Are you pissed at me?”

He looked down at her. “Pissed?”

“You’re distant. You’ve barely talked to me all night.”

“You were right the other day. I have to get serious about the bar now. I can’t be screwing around anymore.”

“That’s not what I meant. This is a lot of work, but it’s supposed to be fun too. This is a dream come true.”

“Yeah. Just need a little time to get adjusted.”

“You left home without me today,” Lola said. “I had to hitch a ride with Vero.”

“I had a meeting with Mitch.”

Lola felt as if she’d been slapped. It had never once occurred to her that either of them would need to meet with Mitch alone. She leaned toward him. “You don’t think maybe I ought to be there for that?”

“That’s what you want, babe, sure. I thought I was supposed to handle the business stuff.”

She proceeded with caution for both their sakes. Johnny’s voice had an edge to it that she’d heard during their arguments, usually when he was too frustrated to remain rational. “I want this to be your baby,” Lola said. “It’s your dream. But I’m part of this too—a big part. You’re in charge, but that doesn’t mean I’m not at all in charge. I’m here to make decisions and to support you however I can.”

He laughed just under his breath. “However you can. I’d say so.”

“You know what? I don’t like this snarky side of you.” She’d probably said things she shouldn’t have at some point too, but it wasn’t in either of their natures to be deliberately mean.

He shrugged and looked up at the sky.

“Are you mad because I won’t do it again?” she asked. “Or because I would?”

“Well, which is it?” he asked, his head still tilted back.

“Whatever you want it to be,” Lola said.

“I just want the truth.”

“And that’s all I’ve ever wanted from you.”

“All right, so give it to me straight.” He glanced back down at her. “You want to or you don’t? Did you enjoy yourself?”

“We agreed not to get into details.”

“Jesus Christ.” He laughed in disbelief. “No wonder you don’t want me asking questions. You did enjoy it.”

“Would you prefer I hated it? On my back, silently crying, pleading at the ceiling for it to be over?” She turned her face away as her cheeks got hot. It was almost as if he’d heard her conversation with Vero, but he’d been across the room.

The cigarette burned down in his hand, and he didn’t respond.

She knew the answer to her own question. Things could’ve gone much worse with Beau, and she was grateful they hadn’t. She’d do a lot for Johnny, but she wasn’t going to wish it’d been terrible for her just so he would feel better. “I’d do it again,” she said. “If you thought it was for the best.”

“For the best,” Johnny murmured. “The best being money.”

“The best being our future.”

“But here’s the clincher, folks,” he said. “The kind of future they want costs money.”

“If you feel that strongly, just tell me not to do it.”

“Thought we already decided you wouldn’t.” He tossed the cigarette on the ground and stamped it out. “You want to do it, then do it. Don’t try to make it look like I’m asking you for it. You did it once, so it’s not even like it’s that big of a deal.”

Lola set her jaw. “How can you say that?”