Domination (Explicitly Yours 2)

“I have no idea,” she said.

Johnny looked at her earnestly. She put a hand on his face.

“Feel better?” he asked, smiling up at her.

She averted her eyes—she didn’t feel better. Beau’s offer had only been on the table a few hours, but she’d already begun to think about how it would be to see him again. Yes, she had an idea of what a second night would have in store, but Beau also had ways of surprising her. The possibilities were endless.

No, the possibilities would’ve been endless.

Johnny stood up. They held each other’s gaze a minute. “So it’s decided,” he said, turning.

“Wait, Johnny.” She grabbed his hand.

He looked back at her.

She put her lips to his knuckles. “Johnny,” she whispered. Her hand fit perfectly in his. Remember this? A gentle touch to love her. Fingers that had been everywhere on her body, over and over.

His eyes traveled from her face to their hands. “You think this is a good idea?”

“I don’t know.” She pulled him back down to the couch and let go of him to lift her tank top over her head. It left her bare from the waist up. He looked. She leaned over to undo his slacks before climbing onto his lap.

“You…” He kept his eyes on her breasts.

“What, Johnny?” she asked. What did he need? Reassurance of her love? To know if he’d been a better lover than Beau? She grew hungrier by the second. She’d had sex on her mind since she’d left Beau, but she hadn’t wanted to make the first move. “Ask me anything, and I’ll answer.”

He cleared his throat. “He showed you his test results, right?”

Lola stilled. It wasn’t what she’d expected. It was something a man should never have to ask his girlfriend, even if it was a perfectly reasonable—almost necessary—question for their situation. “Yes. He’s clean.”

“Okay.” He looked up finally. “What?”

“Nothing.” Right before they made love was not the time to anguish over the heartbreak of a question like that. She forgot it and set her palms against his shirt. “Put your arms around me.”

He did, pulling her closer by her backside.

“Stop thinking,” she said.

He kissed her. She settled her hips to get closer to him as she unbuttoned his shirt. She reached between them, felt for him, rubbed him. And rubbed him harder, until he also reached down to move her hand away.

“I think I need more time,” he said. “My mind keeps going somewhere it shouldn’t.”

“I’m still me, Johnny.”

“I know.” He kissed her, and he was present. His forehead rested against hers. “I know. Can you just say it out loud? Maybe it will help.”

“Say what out loud?”

“That you did it. You never even said you did it.”

“How would that help?”

“I don’t know. Can you…?”

Her eyes fell to the exposed skin at the base of his neck. She hadn’t said it. Maybe it’d been intentional, because she was having trouble getting the words out. “I slept with him. That was the deal.”

His chest rose and fell. He nodded. “I know. I don’t know why I wanted to hear it.”

“It’s all right.” She dipped her head to get him to look at her. “We’re in uncharted waters here. You can always tell me what you need.”

“So good,” he whispered. “So understanding.”

“I’m trying,” she whispered back. “I know you are too.” The resignation in his eyes was too much to handle. She’d forgotten that for her, all of this was real from the moment she’d gotten into that limo—but Johnny had never had that moment. He was in limbo somewhere between making the deal and getting her back. “You must be hungry,” she said, the only fix she could offer at that moment.

“Not really.”

“I can make you a sandwich.”

He shook his head. “It’s okay. I’m sorry I ruined dinner.”

“I heard fifty-dollar steak sucks anyway.” They both laughed a little. “However, I happen to make a mean peanut butter and jelly sandwich.” She winked. “And all it’ll cost you is one kiss.”

4

Vero poured two shots and slid one down the bar. Lola caught it and drank it down in a gulp. “What was that for?” she asked, sending back an empty glass.

“Think you need it. Should I get Johnny one?”

“Why?”

“Think he needs it too.”

Lola turned to lean her hip against the bar. “What do you mean?”

“He’s been staring at you the way I see the regulars stare at a new woman in this bar. Like he wants to meet you but doesn’t know what to say.”

“Need a pitcher of Fat Tire,” Amanda called over the bar.

“Got it.” Vero got started on the order as Amanda walked away. “You and Johnny all right?”

“We’re fine,” Lola said. Since their steak dinner the night before was a bust, they’d splurged on gourmet hamburgers for lunch that day. It was a fraction of the cost of the steak, but it was them, and that was the most important thing. They’d had a little too much beer and sun followed by a nap. Beau and his offer hadn’t come up. She’d thought it was nearly the perfect afternoon, but when she woke up, Johnny had left for work without her.