Provocation (Explicitly Yours 3)

“No. This is about you and me.” While Beau might’ve been the catalyst behind their breakup, he wasn’t the reason. He had his own sins to pay for, but she couldn’t blame him for this. “I’m not the girl you want. I tried so hard, I honestly thought I was all these years. But I need more. I don’t want to spend my life doing something mediocre, like working at Hey Joe. It doesn’t make me happy.”

“Mediocre?” he repeated. “Oh. I see. One night with a millionaire and suddenly you’re too good for me. That’s just bullshit.” He picked her bag up off the bed and held it to his side. “I know you’re angry. So am I. But stop and think about what you’re saying.”

Lola tried to take the bag. “We’re finished—”

“No.” He pulled the duffel back and went to block the doorway. “You don’t just fall out of love overnight because you slept with someone else.”

“I already told you, this isn’t about him. You fucked up, and because of that, I see the truth. What we have is easy. I love and care about you, Johnny, but I’m not in love with you.” She tried to get by him, but he stayed where he was. “Give me my bag. I’m leaving.”

He visibly tried to speak, but nothing came. He opened and closed his free hand as if grasping for something.

“Johnny. Move.” She shoved him aside, and he dropped the bag to grab her wrists. They struggled for a second and then both stopped, their breathing labored. Neither of them moved as they stared at each other.

He released her. “Don’t do this.”

She hoisted the bag off the ground and walked down the hallway.

“Amanda blew me in the stockroom,” he yelled. “I guess that means I fell out of love with you too. Is that how it works?”

Lola’s heart dropped. Her hand went automatically to her stomach as she turned around. “Amanda?”

He ran a hand over his hair, also looking like he might be sick. “Doesn’t feel so good, does it?”

Lola could’ve smacked the pathetic, somehow smug, look off his paling face. She hadn’t thought him capable of cheating, but the last few weeks, he’d been a different person. A weaker one. It didn’t surprise her as much as it should’ve.

“When?”

“Last night.”

“You piece of shit.”

He shrugged, but he looked anything but casual. “I needed someone, and she was there.”

Lola’s eyebrows weighed heavy. She was too livid to feel hurt. “And where was I?” she asked. “Screwing another man to give you your dream.”

“Oh, don’t fucking kid yourself. You’re the only one who gets to have a little fun on the side?” His face fell. He walked toward her, but she backed away. “I drank a handle trying to forget what you were doing. It didn’t even put a dent in me, Lo. I tried to stop her. I pushed her away. It meant nothing.”

It meant everything—a permanent nail in their coffin. “It’s not nothing to me. You gave me away twice, and now you sealed your fate. What if I’d come home, and we’d moved on with our lives? Did you think I could forgive this?”

“Yes, because it was all I had. I was desperate. I’ve never been as miserable as I was last night.”

“Poor fucking baby.” She scoffed. “I can’t believe Beau was right about you.”

“About me?” He touched his chest. “What did he tell you?”

“He said resentment makes people do ugly things—like cheat on their loved ones. He said you’d do that.”

“Tha

t’s rich coming from him of all people,” Johnny said. “You let him talk about me that way?”

“You don’t seem to understand,” Lola said evenly. “I don’t let him do or not do anything. He does and says what he wants. Did I think he was completely crazy for saying that? Yes. But apparently I was the crazy one for thinking I could trust you.”

“This is such bullshit. And I was supposed to trust you after finding out you actually enjoyed sleeping with someone else? By my count, I’d say we’re about even.”

Her jaw tingled. She was disgusted with the whole thing—Johnny and that desperate slut. “Asshole. Did you stick your dick anywhere other than her mouth last night?”

“No.”

“Did you finish? Come all over her? I bet she just gobbled it up. How many times have you done this behind my back?”

“Never. You know me better than that.”

“I don’t know anything or anyone anymore.” She turned and left the hallway. “You can all go to hell.”

“Where are you going?”

She had no idea. She just had to get out of there as soon as possible. She transferred everything from the coffee table into her bag. “I’m taking my half of the money.”

“Lola, come on. Don’t do this. I’ll go to Mark’s and give you some space to cool off. We’ll figure this out when we both calm down.”

She looked over her shoulder at him. “You know it’s over. Don’t act like I’m the only reason we’re through. You had to have known at some point this could happen.”

“I didn’t. I swear. Did you?”

She bit the inside of her cheek. He could only be that oblivious if he was shrouded in denial. “Yes,” she admitted.

“When? Did you know this could end us before you left the apartment last night?”

She turned to face him completely. For nine years, she’d believed Johnny was the one. She would’ve married him if he’d asked. She’d wanted his children. She’d convinced herself that what she’d done for him—maturing, settling down—was something everyone did at some point. It was hard to believe that not only had she not questioned that, but that it’d only taken her two nights with Beau to wake up.