Come Together (The Cityscape 3)

The rashness of my decision to uproot my life began to weigh on me. David and I had not discussed children ever, because what other couple would a weekend into their relationship?

It was far too heavy of an idea to lay into, so for now, I pushed it aside. I needed to get my point across to Bill. I raised my head again. “I don’t think I want child

ren, Bill, at all.”

He scoffed. “How can you say that? You’re a woman.”

“Not all women want children.”

“David doesn’t want them?” he asked skeptically.

I looked at the desk.

He emitted something between a laugh and a grunt. “You don’t even know. Liv, honey, what are you doing?” he implored. “You left me for another man, and you haven’t even discussed the future? Does he say he wants to marry you?”

My eyes jumped to his. “It’s too soon for that.”

“Too soon? You walked out on me for him.”

“Yes, but, it’s more than that. You and me . . . things just weren’t working for us.”

He shifted in his chair. “You know, I’m beginning to feel bad for David actually. I wonder if he realizes just how cold and heartless you really are. Over the years, I’ve seen glimpses of how deep it runs. With your mom, your own family. You cheated on me, for God’s sake. You tell me you want a divorce without even a tear. I thought it was just a part of you, but this moment I see – that’s you to the core.”

I flinched. The words stung. If it made him feel better to say so though, I would take it. Still, I disagreed quietly. “He doesn’t think that about me.”

“How could he? He’s known you all of two seconds.”

I realized I was pulling on my earlobe, a sure sign of my discomfort. It reminded me of how David always noticed when I did that; the only person who had ever noticed. “He knows me better than anyone.”

Bill gave a low whistle. “Brainwashed after a weekend. I might be impressed actually.”

“I know it sounds ridiculous, and I don’t expect you to understand.”

“Try me. What makes you think he knows you better?”

“I can be myself with him. He anticipates my feelings, and when he doesn’t know, he asks. He asks me about myself.”

“I said I would ask questions. What do you want me to ask? Better yet, why don’t you just tell me so I don’t have to ask? You’re the one who clams up, and I’m being punished for it.”

“Yes,” I agreed. “You’re right. I admit that I should have done things differently from the start.”

“It’s not too late. We can start with the scar. You can tell me everything.”

I blinked at him. “The scar. You told my mom about David before I could. You called her,” I accused.

“Because I’m at a loss for what to do, and I’m worried about you. I don’t know how to get through and show you that you’re making a mistake. Your mom knows; she has experience.”

“She doesn’t have experience,” I shot back. “She’s lying. Dad never cheated on her. It was all in her head.”

He pursed his lips. “Me and your mom, we’re on your side. You’re the one who abandoned us. You ran out on her, and now you’re running out on me. Hell, maybe you’ll run out on this guy before he even has a chance to dump you.”

“Enough,” I snapped.

He rounded the desk and shocked me by dropping to his knees. He took my hands in his one good hand. “Please, Olivia. Don’t do this. I love you, and we can work this out. We’ll do counseling if you want, I don’t care. I love you,” he repeated. “I can change. I will ask questions, we can put off having a baby, we can get to know each other all over again.”

Tears flooded my eyes and fell onto our hands.

“Listen,” he said softly. “Are you listening?”

I nodded because I was. This was a side of Bill I had never seen, and he had my attention.

He looked into me, his familiar brown eyes suddenly intense and lucid. “I don’t want you to get hurt. What is he giving up for you? He’s never been married because he doesn’t want to be. What makes you different? How do you know he doesn’t say the same things to the other girls? That’s what players do, Liv. He gets off on using women and tossing them aside, and you’re the ultimate conquest.”

My breath caught in my chest, stuttering to get out. “Bill,” I pleaded. “Stop.”

“No. You wanted me to break through, that’s what I’m doing. He’s not good for you. Even Dani says David has no regard for women, and he treats them like trash.”

Danielle. Lucy’s sister, David’s ex. Did he treat her like trash? Hadn’t she called him a gentleman? “She’s making that up because he didn’t choose her,” I said, but I heard the wavering in my own voice.

He shook his head slowly. “I didn’t want to tell you, but she said . . .” He hesitated and looked away for a moment. When his gaze returned, his expression was soft. “She said after he finally screwed her, she never heard from him again.”

My heart dropped. David had sworn to me that there’d been nothing more between them than a one-sided kiss at the masquerade ball. My mind flashed to that night. According to him, it was the last time they saw each other. And that night, we’d fucked hard and then we’d fought hard. He’d cast me aside angrily, maybe thinking he would never see me again. I couldn’t help myself from picturing her pink hoodie in his car, physical evidence of their relationship. “That’s not . . . true,” I said, trying to hide my internal struggle. Would Dani lie about that? Would Bill?

“Whether or not it’s true, it could happen. Think about how devastated you’ll be if you throw everything away for nothing.” He ran his hand over mine. “I’ll never leave you, babe,” he said as a tear ran down his cheek. “I’ve been by your side through all of this.”

I sniffled, and he winced as he straightened up and took my face. He leaned in, holding me still. His lips touched mine softly, and he kissed me. It was a different kiss than I was used to from him. It was humble and affectionate until he deepened it. He moaned, opening my mouth with his tongue.

“Stop,” I said, pulling back suddenly and wiping my face. “No, I can’t.”

His eyes, pained either by my words or by his broken nose, darted over my face. “Think about what you’re doing,” he said seriously. “You’re throwing everything down the drain for a fling. He doesn’t love you. I do. He doesn’t want you as his wife. I do.” I watched as more tears fell from his pleading eyes. “Liv.”

I shook my head and looked away. After a moment, he dropped my hands and stood up. “You’re making a huge mistake,” he warned, wiping the corner of his eye. He backed away and was gone as abruptly as he’d appeared.

I dropped my head in my hands and heaved a deep breath as his words rang through my head. ‘You’re making a huge mistake.’

Had David slept with Dani after the masquerade ball? And could I blame him if he had? I wasn’t sure that I could – after all, I was going home with my husband. But he’d definitely denied it, and that was not something I could forgive.

Before my mind could conjure up the image of them together as it had many times before, I inhaled a soothing breath and closed my eyes. My gut told me it wasn’t true. No part of me thought David would lie to me. I was mildly comforted until I began thinking about the other things Bill had said.

They were logical. They made sense. And I couldn’t ignore them.

The truth was, I had acted rashly. Always with David, my decisions were made based on emotion. And there were reasons, long ago, that I’d decided I would never allow that. It always led to pain.

Now that David had caught me, how long would he hold me? What rule was there that because I’d left my husband for him, he had to love me forever? I knew, I’d always known, there are no guarantees in love. More often than not, irrational love ended in pain. I felt suddenly ill . . . how had I let myself fall so deep in so little time?

My parents had been in love at one point, and they hadn’t lasted. Greg and Gretchen had had that out of control, burning love in college, but he had walked away without looking back for years. And up until recently, I’d assumed Bill and I would be together forever. I didn’t remember feeling one way or another about it, but I never imagined things would end. Doubts began to tug at me. My father and his ex-wife, Gina. Gretchen’s parents. David’s sister

and her husband. Was there no such thing as forever?

Was Bill justified to say I was throwing everything away?

I believed David. I believed that he believed he loved me and wanted to be with me. But he was a man who had been living the life of a bachelor for a long time. And that meant acting alone. It meant that he might cut and run if things didn’t go the way he wanted.

The thought of David leaving me now had me mentally curling up into a ball. How would it feel if he left in six months, a year, two years?

My stomach lurched with the harsh realization that I’d held Bill at arm’s length because I was weak. Lucy had been wrong to call me strong. I only pretended to be. The truth was, I wasn’t strong enough to withstand the pain of losing someone I loved. Or to handle my parents’ divorce. After all this time, I still couldn’t let it go. Because I was the weak one.

My instinct was to flee. After a lifetime of hiding from these feelings, I knew this moment was the time to get them under control. But for once they were unmanageable, and I knew if I tried to rein them in, I’d fail.

I started when my office door slammed. “What happened?” David demanded from across the office.

“David,” I hissed. “What if someone sees you here?”

“So what? Everyone’s at lunch, like you should be. What happened?”

I groaned. “You saw him.”

“Who?”

“Bill. He was just here.”

“No, I didn’t fucking see him. That’s why you canceled?”

“He needed to talk.”