Kiss the Stars (Falling Stars 1)

Hating what I’d done. A blight that would lie on me forever.

“I’m sorry, Maddie. I’m so damned sorry.”

It was a silent prayer, held in the wind, kept in the whisper that whipped through the trees.

Then I pulled out my phone and tapped out a message that I’d been contemplating all week.

Me: What happens if I let it go?Phone rang.

“Braxton.”

“What the fuck is going on, Leif?”

I stalled. Hesitated. Hadn’t given him many details. Even though I trusted him with my life, it was always safer to keep names separated. Identities. Yeah, he knew I was in Savannah, but I hadn’t given him the details of where I was staying or who I was playing with.

He would have lost his shit if he knew.

It was reckless, but I’d been from the beginning. But sometimes you had to wander lost before you found out where you belonged.

“Just don’t know what good it’ll do at this point.”

He breathed out a skeptical sound. “Be straight with me, Leif. What the fuck is going on?”

“Met someone.”

He sighed. Warring, too. “That’s good, Leif. That’s good. But it doesn’t change the fact that you’re hiding out on the other side of the country. Running for your life. Makes it more dangerous, honestly.”

Distress pulsed. A warning that crashed through the fortress of bliss.

“Then how do I end it?” It was low and hard. A bitter plea.

“Might not be your concern any longer, anyway.”

Hatred flashed.

His face burned in my mind.

All of it wrapped up with the need for this to just go away.

So I could stay here with Mia.

Devoted.

Not caught in this web between who I was and who I wanted to be.

“Pretty sure that greedy bastard has already dug his own grave,” Brax continued. “Karma is coming for his punk ass. Another shipment was scraped. Evidence is finally pointing to him.”

Might have been the first time I was happy to hear that Karma had shown her face.

This was the exact thing Brax and I had been trying to gather for years. Enough evidence dumped at that bastard’s door that there would be no question. Let his own mistakes eat him alive.

It wouldn’t even have been a set up considering we were only pointing Krane to the truth.

“You haven’t had anyone following you again?” he clarified.

“No.”

Had never been so relieved to find out an arrest had been made. They still hadn’t charged the guy with Lana’s death, but the detective said he was close to piecing it together.

Could almost see Braxton nodding. “Listen, found out it was your mom who sent those two guys. All it took was a couple of beers for them to spill. She wasn’t after you, Leif. She wanted them to deliver information but you had them running scared before they got the chance.”

I blew out a sigh, not sure that I could believe it.

Accept it.

She’d done too many wrongs for me to buy that.

But still . . . if I was letting this go, I had to let it all go, and I found I was having a hard time hanging onto the anger when I wasn’t even sure she’d been involved.

“Think you should sit tight for a few weeks. See how this thing goes down here in L.A. Hoping it will take care of itself. And that’s how it ends, Leif. Then you live your life. Leave California behind. Be with your girl and play with your band. It’s your time.”

Maddie and Haylee’s faces gusted through my mind.

Beautiful.

Innocent.

Sweet.

Grief clutched me by the throat.

Could I do it? Let it go? There was nothing I could do to bring them back, and I was starting to realize I’d been chasing down a feeling that was never going to come.

When it came to them, I wasn’t ever gonna feel satisfaction or relief.

“Okay,” I told him. “I’ll hang tight. Let me know when you get word.”

“You know I will.” He paused before he said, “Happy for you, Leif. Honestly never thought you’d get there. Makes me fucking happy that you did.”

“Thanks, man.”

I ended the call.

Not sure if I felt like scum or if I was doing the right thing.

I’d made the mistake of bringing Maddie down with me. A prisoner to the life I was chained to without her even knowing what I was involved in.

Didn’t want to be the fool who did the same thing to Mia.

Mia.

My angel in the attic.

My spirit clutched, girl calling to me from across the miles, and I got on my bike, kicked it over, and let the vibration move through me as I headed back to the West Mansion, knowing things were about to change and they were going to change for the better.

I took the twenty-minute ride back into Savannah, and even though I slowed the bike to take the narrow, neighborhood streets, anticipation wound me high.

Couldn’t wait to get back to her.