Kiss the Stars (Falling Stars 1)

Brutal and beautiful.

I inched forward, that knife cutting me to the core, my breaths haggard as I peered over her shoulder at the painting.

In the image, I was on my knees, facing away but in profile, my expression somehow distorted yet clear.

I stared at the snowy ground where I knelt.

Broken.

The image ached of loneliness.

Of grief.

Of loss.

My fingers were drawing a face in the snow beneath me.

Mia lifted her arm again, her hand trembling with sorrow as she swept the brush across the obscured, shrouded face, detailing it more.

I knew without question that this was Mia’s representation of the woman she saw as my wife. Like she’d plucked the misery from my soul and perfectly put it on a canvas.

Knowing me the way she couldn’t.

Moisture gathered in my eyes.

I had to stop this.

End it.

Go back to the beginning.

Remember.

Problem was, the only thing I was doing was remembering.

Agony and pain.

And I couldn’t stop.

Couldn’t stop from giving her more.

I reached for Mia’s hand, every muscle on my body edged with tension.

Sharp and bleeding.

I curled my hand over hers so that we were holding the brush together, and in haphazard strokes, I painted a second face in the snow beside the other.

The little girl the only thing I could see.

Haylee. Haylee. Haylee.

Mia gasped, and her free hand flew to her mouth to keep back a cry. “Oh, God. Leif.”

I leaned in, my voice a scrape of anguish where I whispered in her ear, “I told you, I ruin everything I touch.”Twenty-EightLeifTwenty-Three Years OldMaddie bounced on her toes in our kitchen. Her feet bare. The girl adorable. Barely contained excitement radiated from her.

“What are you up to?” I asked, cocking a grin.

Because fuck.

She made me happy.

Made me smile.

My one truth in the middle of the lies.

“I have something to tell you.”

That grin grew, and I spun the rest of the way around from where I faced the counter and leaned back against it. “And what’s that?”

Her hands spread out over her belly and she bit down on her bottom lip like she was trying to temper the thrill. “We’re going to have a baby.”

Then she let it loose, squealing, and she was moving for me. “Leif, we’re going to have a baby.”

I pushed off the counter. Flying across the floor. Whisking her from her feet and swinging her around and around.

I hugged her.

So close.

Those arms were wrapped around me.

Nothing but love.

She sighed and pressed her face into my neck.

“I’m going to be a dad,” I muttered low.

She nodded there.

Joy lit.

So intense.

I slowly eased her onto her feet, but I didn’t let her go. Just hugged her and rocked her in the middle of our kitchen.

“I love you, so much,” she whispered.

“Luckiest man alive,” I murmured, barely able to speak with the clot of emotion that had gathered in my throat.

Luckiest man alive.

One who was barely treading water.

Fear burned up my throat. Sticky and tight.

I’d tried. Tried to cut ties. Only for Keeton to reel me back in. My obligation to him a millstone around my neck.

I didn’t do much. Just the few jobs he required.

Problem was, Maddie didn’t know. And I couldn’t let her.

This betrayal, the lies, so heavy I didn’t know how I continued to stand up straight.

She would hate me if she knew. Couldn’t handle it, if she left me.

I needed her.

God. I needed her so bad.

I hugged her tighter.

Knowing the only thing I could do was shelter her from it.

Shield her from the depravity that I was trying to get out from under. Buying my way out.

Soon.

Soon we’d be free.

Until then? I would protect her and our child with everything I had.* * *Leif, Twenty-Four Years OldA rattled cry filled the room.

My chest tightened and my eyes burned and my heart felt like it was going to bust out from behind my ribs.

The amount of love that filled me devastating.

Crushing.

This tiny, precious thing was set on Maddie’s chest. My girl weeping from the exhaustion. From the joy. From the shock.

Her hair drenched with sweat and her face drenched with tears.

She pressed her lips to our baby’s head while I pressed my lips to the top of hers.

Unable to believe this was my life.

That I’d been given this. Trusted with it.

“I love you. You did it. You did it,” I mumbled, barely able to speak with the emotion that filled everything to overflowing.

I was talking to them both.

My only truth.

Maddie smiled this smile through her tears, running her shaking hands over every inch of our daughter.

“She’s perfect. She’s perfect.”

I could barely nod.

Overwhelmed.

Overcome.

I kissed Maddie’s temple. Set my hand on Haylee’s back.

My hand close to eclipsing her entire body she was so small.

But her eyes? They were so big when they looked up at me.

In trust.

Devotion thrummed deep.

A massive demand that shouted in my ear.

This—this was my duty.

My reason.

My purpose.

I had to get free. For them. So I could be the man they needed me to be.