Catch Me When I Fall (Falling Stars 2)

Still, I was asking. Pushing. “He hurt you.”

Wasn’t so much a question as a hate-filled assertion.

“He . . .” She trailed off, unable to finish the thought.

I searched for something that wasn’t a lie. Something that wasn’t my own manipulation. “Don’t ever let someone back you into a corner, sweet girl. Don’t ever let them force you into something you don’t want. Manipulate or coerce you. But also, don’t ever let them hold you back. You are the one who’s in control. You are the one who has the power to end this.”

“I . . . I want to. I just don’t know if I can.”

“You can, Emily. But when you’re ready. On your terms.”

Fuck.

What was I doing?

“But the band,” she whimpered.

I stroked my thumb across the hollow of her eye, gathering the moisture. “Your band is good. More than good. Incredible. There will always be opportunities for you. You will succeed, no matter what. Don’t let one person make that decision for you.”

Chaos pulled her features into a thousand knots. “I thought our band signing is what you wanted? I don’t understand what you want from me.”

“For you to be happy. For you to feel safe. And he will be there at the awards show.”

Wasn’t like either of us didn’t know who those flowers were from. She just didn’t have the first clue how I knew.

Her nod was full of grief. “And if I say no, that I can’t do it? Then I’m letting my band down. My family. The people who mean the most to me. They would be devastated.”

I got as close to her as I could, my hands spreading out around her head like I could get inside, embed my hope and fear and fucking regrets into her. Let her know it would be okay. That I would do anything I had to in order to make this right. “But what about you, Emily? Will it devastate you to be in the same building with him?”

Would I be able to stand there and allow it?

Allow him to breathe her air?

Allow him to breathe any air at all?

A fresh round of tears streaked down her face. “Not if you’re there with me. You . . . you are what makes me feel safe.” She locked her hands around my wrists as I held her face in both hands “How is that possible? I’ve only known you for a short time, and when you step into the room, all the darkness falls away.”

I pulled her closer, our noses brushing, my voice shards. “I’m terrified the only thing I’m going to do is bring more darkness into your life. There’s so much ugliness inside of me, Emily. Things you can’t see. Things I don’t want you to.”

My heart belonged to violence.

To hatred.

To the commitment I’d made to take back what had been stolen from me.

To set things right.

Problem was, I no longer knew what that meant.

Girl clouding my judgement.

Rearranging all the brittle, broken pieces of my heart.

She tightened her hold. “And the only thing I want is to see you better, and for you to see me for who I really am.”

My baby sister’s face flashed through my mind. Nadia’s came skidding in right behind it.

Clutching my heart and lighting a fire in my spirit.

“You told me not to lie to you, Emily, and the truth I’m giving you right now is I’m terrified of falling for you. Terrified of the way you make me feel. This wasn’t supposed to happen.”

“What if it’s unstoppable?” she asked, those green eyes racing over my face like she could see right through me, hooks sinking in, staking claim.

A pained breath heaved out of my lungs, and I dropped my forehead to hers. “Then we’re fucked. I’m already wrecked, baby. And when this ends, I’m pretty sure I’m going down in flames.”

“I don’t understand what you’re sayin’. What’s ending?”

“I’m going to fix this.” It was the only explanation I could give her.

“What I need to fix is me, Royce. The lies I’ve been telling myself.” She pressed her hands over her heart. “I have to. I can’t keep goin’ on like this. Cory . . .”

My teeth gritted.

Cory was going down.

Hard.

“Won’t touch you again,” I interjected

Shock marred her face as she stared at me. Like maybe she was worried she’d given me too much, the girl trying to cover, not quite ready, but wanting to offer it at the exact same time.

Energy spiraled. A vortex sucking me in. I wanted to fully give in. Just fucking stop fighting it.

Wasn’t sure I knew how.

“I don’t want to cause any trouble between you and Mr. Fitzgerald . . .”

Oh, there was gonna be trouble all right.

“But . . .” She hesitated, fidgeting with her fingers. “I can’t remain silent anymore. After I sign, I’m going to have to make a stand. Do something. And I’m not sure right now exactly what that looks like. It could get messy. I think . . . maybe you should stay away from me until it dies down. I don’t want you to get in the middle.”