Elegant Sins (Dark Secret Society 1)

It was beautiful. It should be calming and centering me. That was why I’d come here… wasn’t it? Or to breathe fresh air untainted by… them?

But it wasn’t working. Now that I was by myself, everything felt—

It felt—

I was just so—

I couldn’t even—

“What are you doing, Grace?” Montgomery’s voice was suddenly behind me. He sounded angry. “You don’t know what they’ll do to you if they find you wandering without me escorting you.”

I spun, only to find him standing five feet behind me.

“You followed me?” I asked incredulously.

“When you do foolish things like wander off by yourself, you bet your ass I’ll do what it takes to protect you.”

“Protect me?” My voice went up an octave. And then I flew at him.

I slammed into him, shoving him hard in the chest. He barely moved at the impact, which only pissed me off more.

I pummeled his chest, all my fury and frustration finally finding a target. He let me. Which was even more fucking infuriating, because I knew my fists were like a small child’s to him. I couldn’t inflict any real damage.

These bastards were going to break me, and I couldn’t even—

I reared my hand back to slap him across the face and he finally grabbed my wrist, halting my arm mid-motion.

And when I looked up into his face, ready to hiss and spit at him, his features were full of only care and concern.

Goddamn him, he wasn’t even the target I really wanted to hit and we both knew it. I ripped my arm out of his grasp, hating that I was only able to because he allowed it.

Then I spun and sprinted for the dock jutting out into the lake. I ran with every ounce of strength I had.

Montgomery called out my name from behind me, but I wasn’t stopping. I finally knew what I needed.

I jumped off the end of the dock, tucked my knees against my chest, and hit the water with an explosive splash.

I sank down into the dark water and I finally let it all out in the only place I could. I opened my mouth and screamed. The water drowned out the sound of my pain, but I didn’t stop.

I screamed and screamed and screamed.

When arms closed around me from behind and tugged me to the surface, I didn’t fight.

I was limp. I’d finally found an outlet for my rage, which I hadn’t realized was what I’d been looking for all along. Reconnecting with Montgomery in the shower had helped expel some of it, but if I’d kept the rest bottled up anymore, I would’ve exploded. No matter how futile my cries now were. It wasn’t like it would change anything.

Staying still on that table last night while that fuckface violated me with those goddamned chopsticks was the most difficult thing I’d ever done in my entire life and—

I leaned my face back under water and screamed one last time for good measure.

Montgomery rubbed my back and let me scream.

And when I finally sank back against him, he carried me out of the lake, not saying a word. That was good. My mind felt blank finally. I didn’t have words and couldn’t sort out my emotions.

And being held in Montgomery’s arms while he settled us on a stone bench beside the dock felt nice. It felt good to be taken care of for once.

I didn’t even complain when he pulled my heavy, sodden cotton nightgown off over my head and helped me into the outer robe I’d thrown off earlier instead.

He’d brought a robe as well and he pulled that on, discreetly slipping out of his wet boxers.

“Grace, I—”

But I shook my head, lifting my legs up on the bench and snuggling into his chest. “Shh, can we just stay like this for a second? It’s so quiet,” I breathed out, finally feeling all the tension leaving my body in what felt like the first time since forever.

I didn’t realize I’d fallen asleep until Montgomery jostled me slightly. I blinked my eyes against the bright sunlight.

“Shit, sorry. I was trying not to wake you. But I didn’t want you to get sunburned. If you want to sleep some more, I can get us settled right underneath this oak tree here.”

He was being so sweet, my heart squeezed.

“It’s okay,” I said, suddenly feeling embarrassed about earlier. But then I decided, screw that. “Actually, since we’re out here with no eyes or ears on us, could we just talk some before going back?”

I couldn’t go back there yet.

Montgomery looked surprised by my request but nodded, setting me on my feet.

I pushed my hair out of my face and cringed to think how wild it must look after my predawn dip in the lake.

He watched me with wary concern like I might snap again and start pummeling him at any second.