How the Hitman Stole Christmas

Yeah, that’s what I’ll do.

Satisfied that I’ve come up with the best plan I can to get through this holiday season, I lock up the shop, pull my jacket closed to protect myself from the bitter cold wind, and head out to my car.Chapter TwoAutumnI belt out the chorus of “Holly Jolly Christmas” to my audience of no one as I grip the steering wheel and try not to tense up.

The weather is brutal tonight. The snow is coming down so hard it’s difficult to see the road in front of me. It doesn’t help that the back road I’m on is apparently neglected by the plows I saw going back and forth on the busier road I was driving on a little bit ago.

This is what happens when your biggest weakness in life is your sense of direction.

Despite the wrong turn I took, I know I’m heading the right way now. I just wish I had been paying closer attention to begin with; with the weather the way it is tonight, it’s dangerous to drive on a road like this one.

Maybe a little spooky, too. There are no road lights and only a few houses dropped along here and there. All I can see in front of me is pitch black night and a spotlight of snowflakes made visible by my headlights.

Where am I?

Since we arrived in town, I haven’t noticed any other roads like this one. It feels more like a road you’d find in a small, rural farm town than a suburb of Chicago.

I resist the urge to turn down the radio so I can focus. I don’t know where that impulse comes from, but it doesn’t even make sense. The quiet won’t make me see better.

Besides, the Christmas music reminds me why I’m here doing this to begin with.

Brady Mendelson—my boyfriend. He’s great. Sure, I was a little shocked when he invited me home to meet his family even though we’ve only been going out for a few months, but since I don’t have a family of my own to go home to, it’s nice actually having somewhere to go this year.

His family is huge and very busy, apparently. We just got into town last night so I know they really haven’t had time to make me feel welcome, but I’m sure they will eventually. His brother got in an hour or so before we did, and he and his wife have kids, so of course Brady’s mom was too busy fussing over them to care about her other son’s new girlfriend. Besides, Brady’s brother is the favorite. I know because Brady complained about it at length during the plane ride here.

Hopefully tonight when I get back there, his family will be more receptive. I don’t know why he would have brought me along if he didn’t expect them to make me feel welcome.

Well, despite the sneaking suspicion I had earlier tonight that I’m mainly here as a personal shopper and free gift wrapper. Brady sent me out shopping with his credit card and a list as long as my arm of people I needed to buy presents for. Which makes sense, given I’m his girlfriend… but I don’t know any of these people, so I really wish he would’ve come with me.

I tried to shop by age and gender where possible and as generically as possible. I don’t expect anyone to love the items I bought, but I did as well as I could given what I had to work with.

I try to shove down the vague sense of dread I get when I think about going back to that lonely house full of strangers who seem content to stay that way.

Maybe it’s not the idyllic holiday I imagined, but it is better than being alone.

“Jingle Bells” comes on the radio next. That’s one of my top three favorite Christmas songs, so I set aside my feelings of discontent and sing along.

As I’m singing about the fun of riding in a one-horse open sleigh, something seems to happen to my car.

I don’t know if it’s a particularly deep patch of snow I’ve hit or what, but there’s a forceful tug on the steering wheel. I tighten my grip, my whole body tensing as the car starts to wobble and pull to the left.

What is happening?

I pull off to the side of the road even though I’m afraid I won’t be able to get back on given how deep the snow is—and it’s still falling. I don’t know what else to do, though. This isn’t even my car, it’s a rental. Brady’s rental car. He’s going to be so mad at me. I shouldn’t even be on this back road to begin with, and now I could be stranded here.

I’m anxious as I throw open the door and get out to see if I can figure out what’s wrong.