How the Hitman Stole Christmas

But the road is long and I have to turn a couple times. I start to frown as the GPS says we’re almost there, but the neighborhood I’m driving into seems… wrong.

There are still lots of trees on both sides of the road with houses hidden in between, but as we drive past the first few, I can’t help noticing the quality—and property values—of the houses has risen dramatically. These aren’t standard ranches owned by working class Americans.

These are rich people houses.

“Wow, that one is gorgeous,” Autumn marvels as she gazes out the window at a big, fancy house set back off the road.

“It sure is,” I murmur uncertainly.

She sighs dreamily, looking over at me. “I think that’s the prettiest house I’ve ever seen. Did you see the tree in the window?”

My gaze drifts to my left at an enormous brick house on a little hill. “I saw it.”

There’s a trace of hesitance in her tone now. “Your mom… lives here?”

I shake my head. “Can’t be. No. Maybe there are normal houses after these.”

I keep saying that to myself as I drive past a few more sprawling mansions, but looking at the map on my GPS… her house is close. Really close.

I would know if my born-in-poverty mother lived in a fucking mansion… right?

I take a left when the GPS tells me to, down a less densely populated road by the looks of it. I thought I was already on mom’s road, but apparently I missed the “place” in her address.

“You have reached your destination,” my phone announces as I roll to a stop on the road in front of a sprawling brick ranch house all decked out in Christmas lights.

“Is… is this it?” Autumn asks hesitantly.

Understandably, she expected when a common fucking criminal kidnapped her and took her home to meet his family, the home would be a little more modest.

“This can’t be it.” I pull in anyway, but I don’t roll down the long driveway to where a black SUV is parked. I stay back by the road so I’ll be able to back out and turn around when Nora inevitably tells me I typed in the wrong address.

When I text Nora for the address again, explaining I think she gave me the wrong one before, I wait for some form of, “Oh, you’re right, silly me! Here’s an address back on that road with all the normal houses, now hurry up and back out before the people who own this one think they’re being burgled.”

Instead, Nora walks outside and waves her arms to get my attention. The text she sends back says, “Nope, you’re in the right place. I see you! Yay! I can’t believe you’re here!”

I can’t believe I’m here, either.

I sit there for a minute, unable to grasp the reality of it.

I guess we have to go inside. It still doesn’t seem like we should be allowed to. Maybe it’ll feel real once we’re in the house.

It’s not like I’ve never been inside a big, fancy house before. The massive mansion my boss lives in is essentially a compound, a castle fit for a king—makes this one look like a playhouse.

But my mother doesn’t live there, so it’s not weird.

This is fucking weird.

I don’t want to keep my sister waiting, though, and sitting here in the parking lot for 15 minutes won’t make things less weird, so I pull up behind the SUV and kill the engine.

“I guess this is it,” I tell Autumn.

“Wow,” she says, not bothering to hide her surprise. “Well, I mean, it’s really nice. Not what I expected, but really nice.”

“Yeah,” I mutter, looking at the house. “Not what I expected, either.”Chapter TwelveAutumnJasper is seriously freaked out.

I may not have known him for long, but I don’t need to be a lifelong friend to pick up vibes this strong.

I don’t think he’s a man accustomed to being freaked out, either, so that must intensify his discomfort.

His mom’s house is magnificent. From the impression he gave me of her, I wasn’t expecting her to live in a nice, big house. I guess I was expecting something small and rundown with a ratty recliner in front of the TV and a counter littered with empty beer bottles. I certainly wasn’t expecting her house to look like a successful executive’s paradise in the woods, but… I don’t know, maybe that was wrong of me.

I haven’t even met his mom yet, so maybe I shouldn’t have any kind of impression of her. Just from what he told me in the car, I’m not sure I’ll like her. Obviously, she wasn’t the best mother to him. Maybe that’s none of my business, but since Jasper is the only person I know here, he has my loyalty by default.

I try to shake off my awe as I climb out and walk over to join Jasper on the other side of the car. I try to avoid gawking at the house like some kind of tourist admiring the sights, but I’m not sure I quite succeed.