Erik (Arizona Vengeance 2)

“What are you doing here?” I ask Tacker.

“Just thought I’d come by and visit Billy,” he replies as he stands from his chair. “Is that okay?”

“Of course,” I assure him with a smile. “It’s just…the team is on a road trip. Shouldn’t you be with them in San Diego today?”

“Have you not been following the team?” he asks with his eyebrows drawn inward.

“Sure, I have,” I tell him. Because I just can’t seem to let go of Erik cold turkey so I watch him on TV and read any article I can about the team.

“Then you know I got suspended,” he says dryly. “Got time on my hands.”

I shake my head at the misunderstanding. “Yes. I saw that you had gotten suspended. I just assumed you still traveled with the team.”

“No room for me,” he mutters. “They had to call someone up to take my place.”

“Oh.” My gaze travels over to Billy who’s concentrating on the puzzle. He hasn’t even looked up at me but rather is meticulously picking through pieces with his right hand to find something that fits. His left arm is being supported by a sling for his cast.

Scooting by Tacker, I lean over Billy’s chair and brush a kiss across his head. He eases his head up and smiles at me.

“Blue,” he says in greeting which makes me smile. It’s his best word. His clearest. He’s been saying it since he was able to start forming words, even with his limitations.

“You’re doing such a good job,” I tell him as I examine the puzzle. He’s done the outer frame and is diligently filling it in.

“Thanks,” he drawls out with difficulty. I bend over and kiss him again.

“Do you think we could talk in private a moment?” Tacker asks and I jerk in surprise. Tacker isn’t known for wanting to talk about anything.

“Yeah…okay.” I turn to Billy and put my hand on his shoulder. “I’ll be back in a minute and then I’ll help with the puzzle.”

Billy tips his head to me again and I get his big, beautiful smile back. Yes, all has been forgiven between us and my conscience in that regard has been absolved even if it still weighs heavy with what I did to Erik.

God, I miss him so damn much.

Tacker turns and walks out of the room, and I follow him, pulling the door shut behind me.

“Let’s go see if the family room on this floor is empty,” I suggest. “Weekdays are usually pretty light around here.”

“Everyone has to work, right?” he replies as he follows me down the corridor.

The room is indeed empty and we walk in. Tacker closes the door behind him and then leans back against it. I take that to mean this won’t be a long and involved conversation so I don’t bother to sit down.

“Erik asked me to come by and check on Billy…see how he was doing from his fall,” Tacker says and I don’t miss the slightly accusing tone in his voice.

“I see,” I reply stiffly, but I don’t. If he was so worried, why didn’t he just call me and ask?

Because you pushed him away, Blue, and you didn’t respond to his attempts to talk to you last week.

I take a breath. “As you can see, Billy’s doing great. Erik has nothing to worry about.”

Tacker cocks an eyebrow at me. “I’d say he has plenty to worry about.”

I’m not prepared for how bad that makes me feel because I’ve never lost sight of the fact that not only did I cut Erik out of my life, I cut him out of Billy’s too. And over these last several weeks, he’s come to deeply care for Billy. He shouldn’t have had to send Tacker her to check on him and that’s a terrible mistake I’ve made.

“How’s Erik?” I ask, my voice thin and shaky.

“Not good,” he says almost dispassionately.

Fear slams through my chest. “Why? Has he said something?”

Tacker shrugs. “I’ve seen him a few times in the workout room this past week. He’s even quieter than I am so that should tell you something, but then again, I’m not the type that others lay their troubles out to. Let’s just say I recognize pain.”

Of course he does. My gaze drops to the floor, feeling wretched. “I screwed everything up. I was so unfair to him.”

“So fix it,” he says.

My head pops up. “How? I’ve made a huge mistake and surely he has to hate me.”

“You’re not giving him a lot of credit,” Tacker points out and my head ducks again as I’m duly chastised. Of course, he wouldn’t hate me. That’s not Erik.

“Look at me, Blue,” Tacker says gruffly and I raise my eyes mainly because this man who never has a lot to say is going out on a limb here. “This type of mistake can be corrected. You’re lucky. So don’t waste a fucking moment of your time in doing so because you could wake up tomorrow and he could be gone forever. Trust me when I tell you…you don’t want that type of misery.”