Steele (Arizona Vengeance 9)

Best believe I took it. I had my mouth on every inch of her, a good deal of time between her legs, but that was after she had my cock in her mouth. After, we fucked like wild animals.

I get hard now just thinking about it, but I restrain from moving my hand from my stomach downward. Because I continue to think about how two people can be that intimately connected one moment, but the next, be separated.

I don’t even feel like touching my dick because I remember what happened after that last time we made stupendous love in our marital bed.

Ella cuddled in close, and we talked for a long time. She seemed happy and content.

Yet, her voice had been hesitant when she said, “I have a great idea. How about you and I spend all day in bed, eat junk food, and watch movies? We can fuck in between.”

I mean, what man in his right mind would say no to that? The kid was gone, I had a lusciously gorgeous wife naked and wanting more of that beauty we just had…

Yet, I’d said no. “Sorry, babe, but I’m meeting the guys for a pickup game of hockey in a few hours. I need to carb load before then.”

I remember giving her a hard kiss and taking a moment to nuzzle her neck before rolling out of bed. Maybe I didn’t see it then, but all this ruminating about how I managed to fuck things up makes me remember it clear as day now.

That look on her face—it had been blank.

There wasn’t even disappointment like she would usually show me. She hadn’t tried to get me to change my mind. There hadn’t even been a guilt-laden frown to give me pause.

I realize now what it was.

It was the moment Ella finally gave up on me.

In hindsight, I have to believe that many of the times my wife beckoned me to bed were so she could have my attention, not necessarily because she craved the intimacy. I’m the asshole who, after I gave it to her, figured it was enough.

How many times had I left her like that because my hockey buds were more important than a lazy afternoon watching movies and eating junk food with my wife?

My chest constricts as it finally dawns on me the pain she must have been feeling, and I’m not just talking about that day. That had been our life for several years.

It’s no wonder she asked me to leave.

It’s no wonder she’s moving on with Mr. Ordinary.

It’s no wonder that, at this moment, I realize I have a lot of work to do because sex isn’t going to be the answer in winning Ella back.CHAPTER 1SteelePulling into the driveway of the house that used to be mine, but is now where Lucy and Ella live without me, feels strange. There’s that moment of what feels like homecoming—that sense of belonging somewhere where I feel safe, and I know my happiness is inside.

But there’s also a sense of detachment I had to put in place. A shield, of sorts, which lets me walk inside and be okay with the fact I don’t live here anymore.

Ella and I never had a big fight when we split. It’d been a somewhat rational, but still emotional, discussion, but she hadn’t been angry. No—she’d just been done, and I guess deep down, I’d known it was coming. I hadn’t tried to fight her about it.

That was pretty fucking stupid on my part. I get that now.

Since our separation, we’ve settled into a polite relationship that usually revolves around picking up and dropping off Lucy as she bounces between our homes. However, I continue to help Ella out with the house as needed, and luckily for me, her garbage disposal is clogged. It means I’ll have an opportunity for conversation rather than just the normal polite greetings during a Lucy exchange.

I park behind Ella’s Cadillac Escalade, which is parked in front of the two-car garage. She’s had it for almost five years and even though we could afford to buy her a new one every year if she desired, she just doesn’t. She’s never been one to be flashy with our money as evidenced by the fairly modest house we live in—at least by professional athlete standards. I’m not flashy, either. While I do drive a Range Rover, it’s four years old and I don’t have any plans to give it up.

What we do have to show for my paychecks is a fully-funded college investment account for Lucy. She can afford to go to the most expensive college if she chooses, and there’s enough for her to pursue post-graduate education if she wants. Ella and I also invested heavily in our early years of marriage—thanks to the fact her father is a financial planner—and we could retire happily right now if we wanted to.