Big Man For Christmas

“Hey, neighbor,” my dad calls.

Casey smiles when he looks up. “Hey Mr. Farrell.”

My dad shakes his head. “How many times do I have to tell you just to call me Jack?”

“At least one more, Mr. Farrell.” He comes down to the car window and sees that I’m in the car. To his never-ending credit, his face never changes. But I see the hitch in his step and the sudden intensity in his eyes when he sees me. Fuck, he’s so gorgeous, and now my mind is torturing me with the memories of that night. The way he covered me in all of him with all those gorgeous, amazing whispered words. The slow, aching, shuddering pleasure that he fucked into me until I couldn’t hold it back anymore.

“Hey Carley,” he says.

“Hi.”

My dad nods, “You getting those cows ready for the fireworks?”

“Yes, sir. At full volume now. Just waiting for the official day.”

I look at my dad. “You know about the music?”

“Sure do. Everyone knows about Casey and his magic with the cattle. How do you know about it?”

Casey leans against the window. “Carley was on a walk and ran into me feeding the cows with the “1812 Overture.” She got to see it up close and personal. We caught up a little bit.”

“Really?” My dad looks over at me. “She hadn’t told me that.”

I shrug, avoiding his gaze. “It didn’t come up.”

“Well, Casey, we’re on our way back from the general store and we have a big lunch planned. Plenty of food to go around if you’d like to join us. Jess is trying a new chili recipe for the fireworks potluck and I think she’d like an opinion from someone who’s not related to her.”

What the hell is he doing? My heart is pounding in my ears. I’m hot and staring at Casey, seeing what he’s going to do. I can’t breathe. What am I going to do if I’m in the same room with both my family and Casey? I’m not sure my heart will be able to take it.

Casey looks at me, and smiles, seeing the state that I’m in. “That’s all right, Mr. Farrell, I wouldn’t want to impose.”

“You wouldn’t be imposing in the slightest. I insist you join us. You deserve a home cooked meal as much as anyone.”

A laugh. “You insulting my cooking skills?”

“I absolutely am,” Dad says. “My wife has told me stories.”

Casey laughs and looks at me. “In that case, I accept. What time should I come over?”

“As soon as you clean up. We’re happy to have you. But lunch is at one o’clock.”

We drive on, and Dad looks over at me, just smiling. Great. This is just great. Perfect.10CaseyThe truck drives off down the road and I curse under my breath. I should have made some excuse to decline. Shouldn’t have given in so easily. I saw Carley’s face, and she was terrified. But I so badly want to be near her that I might have just fucked it all up.

Mrs. Farrell hates me, and Jessica does too. I highly doubt she’ll give a shit about my opinion of her chili. When I was in seventh grade, Jessica asked me out, and I said no. She was a year older, and by that time I already knew that I liked Carley, even if I wouldn’t admit it to myself. So of course, I said no.

For whatever reason, Jessica was entirely devastated, and her mother joined her in her instant loathing of me. Jessica’s mockery, and the fear of what they might say, were one of the reasons that Carley and I never went public when we got together. I hoped that we would eventually. But then Firework Night happened…

And everything else.

But I’ll go and eat that chili even if it’s the worst thing in the world to be near Carley.

At least she likes me well enough. Not enough to stay in my bed until breakfast, though. My chest still aches at that. After what she’s been through, I’m not surprised, but in the moment, it still makes me ache.

I woke just before dawn already reaching for her, and she was gone. For a moment, I worried that it really had been a vivid dream. But it wasn’t. A few of her crazy, curly, blonde hairs were left across the pillow, and the sheets still smelled like her. The room still smelled like sex. And no dream I’ve ever had left me feeling that kind of satisfied.

No, Carley Farrell was far better than any dream. Softer, sweeter, and hotter. She was skittish—I understand why. But while she is here, and hopefully for a long time after that, I am going to show her that she doesn’t have any reason to run away from me.

And I am going to make sure that our night has a repeat. Soon. Tonight, actually. The last three nights have been unbearably cold and lonely. I don’t question the fact she crashed into my life and turned it upside down. I think that’s exactly what I’ve been waiting for. Someone to turn me upside down and spin me around and let me do the same to them.