Big Man For Christmas

He rolls me over and takes me from behind, hard and fast, not bothering to cover me or pin me down like the other night. This is just him taking. Nails scrape down my spine and I fuck back into him over and over again. I’m nothing but continuous pleasure. Fire and heat and light and screaming yes and letting myself be loud.

I spin and push him down onto the blanket, taking him deep and riding him. Harder, faster. Casey pulls me down to him, hands circling my throat as he licks my neck. I lose my hold on everything, vision going white as the orgasm takes me. Screaming again, I can only hold on to him. Somewhere out there I feel him come, shouting his release into the air, and I feel it in my chest before he lets me collapse across his chest.

It’s entirely possible that I don’t have any bones left in my body. That’s how it feels. I’m heaving in breaths, and Casey is too. His arms are around me, holding me to him while the music continues to wash over us in waves.

We listen as it comes to a resounding crescendo. A climax that shakes the entire building before it collapses into silence. The only sound that’s left is my own heart pounding in my ears. Still fast. Recovering from the time that it feels like I spent outside my body.

Casey moves just a little, raising his arms to take out his ear plugs. I do the same, and everything sounds normal and familiar. It’s the sounds of a barn. Chewing and shuffling. Stomping and the occasional low sound from one to the cows.

Slowly, he shifts out from underneath me so he can stretch out alongside me. One hand rests on my hip—like he’s afraid to be too far away. I’m okay with that. I don’t want to be far from him either. We’re both sweating from our efforts, now cooling a little even though it’s warm in the barn.

“Are you okay?”

“Am I okay?” I ask, laughing. “That was the strangest…weirdest…” I laugh again. “I don’t even have words.”

“Good though, right?”

I smile up at him, nodding. “I’ve always wanted to do that. Just let go and be. Let instinct kind of take care of everything and just…yeah.”

Casey presses a kiss to my temple. “I’ve wanted to bring you up here for a long time. Ever since before the fireworks.”

“Really? You didn’t have the music back then.”

He laughs softly. “No, but here was the only place I could think of where neither of our families would think to look. And I just…wanted you. But I never thought it would be this perfect. Or loud.”

Lips caress my shoulder. And then my neck. Up to my jaw. The pleasure spills out from his lips, and from the way his fingers tug on my skin, I can tell that he’s about to go for round two. And God do I want that, but outside the walls of the barn I can see the sun slipping toward the horizon. “I should probably go. They’ll be having dinner soon. They might wonder where I am.”

He pulls my mouth to his. “Stay.” Just a single word, but desperate and powerful. “Have dinner with me. I’ll even cook for you.”

I laugh. “Are you any good? My father said he’d heard horror stories and I seem to remember something about the home ec room being set on fire junior year.”

“I’ve gotten better. For the most part. Kind of.”

The smile on my face is one that I can’t seem to hold back. I very much don’t want to go back to my parents’ house and face my mother and sister and the inevitable questions about why I took so long and what I did with Casey. I’m a bad liar, and they’ll know that something is up. “What about if I cook?”

He hangs his head. “Dear God, yes. I will do whatever you need to help but I’m such a cliché. The bachelor who’s an awful cook.”

I roll away from him and grab my clothes. “Then I can’t very well let you starve.”12CaseyThe sight of Carley in my kitchen is something I don’t know how to process. It’s…everything.

She’s wearing my mother’s apron, and it looks like it was made for her. I thought it might bother me to see someone else wearing it, but it doesn’t. Instead, it feels right.

I put music on in the background, and Carley is swaying her hips along with the music and singing when she knows the words. I’ve cracked open a beer and she has one too. I’m just leaning against the counter watching her, and it’s filling my heart.

Not in a sexual way, this is deeper. This moment feels far more meaningful than just us acting out our lust with each other. It’s perfect.