Out of Love by

I couldn’t.

I couldn’t let him see my need. My fear. My pain.

Then … he was gone.

His touch.

His scent.

His warmth.Chapter TenMonday morning jitters couldn’t be soothed with all the caffeine in the world. I picked up my mint green tea and a coffee for Slade on my way to class. By the time I made it to the lecture hall, I’d drank both, which meant I needed to use the restroom before class.

A few minutes late to class, I eased the door shut softly behind me. The professor showed me a bit of mercy by not drawing everyone’s attention to me. I spotted my neighbor and my favorite dog, but there were no empty seats around them, so I took a seat on the opposite side of the auditorium.

When he made his ten-minute-early exit, I snatched my bag and chased after him. “Hey! Wait up!”

He didn’t. Not that shocking.

When I caught up to his speed-walker pace, he gave me a quick side glance without slowing down. “What?”

What? Really? That was his one-word good morning after leaving me a puddle of nothingness on my bedroom floor the previous night.

“How’s your arm?”

“Fine. It was fine yesterday. It’s fine today. It will be fine tomorrow. Speaking of tomorrow…” he stopped abruptly and turned to face me with a flicker of hesitation on his face “…can you watch Jericho?”

I chuckled. “Funny. I thought he watched me.”

“Is that a yes?”

“It’s a maybe. Where are you going?”

“Doesn’t matter.”

Crossing my arms over my chest, I flipped out my hip. “It does to me. Will you come home with a bullet wound again? Will you come home at all? Is this drug-related? Should you give me his vet records in case you don’t come home? Are you screwing the Lexus lady from last night?”

Oops.

I got on a roll and just couldn’t stop.

“Scratch that last question. I don’t care.”

I cared.

A LOT!

“I’ll drop him off around eight.”

“If you don’t die, when will you be back?”

“Saturday.”

“Saturday …” My jaw dropped. “That’s … that’s not watching him tomorrow. That’s watching him for four nights. And days … what am I supposed to do with him during the day?”

Slade’s forehead wrinkled. “What do you mean? Wherever you are … that’s where he’ll be. You shit. He watches. You surf. He sits on the beach. You—”

“Yeah, yeah … I get it. What if one of my professors asks me about him?”

“Tell them he’s none of their fucking business.”

“Yeaaah …” I quirked an eyebrow. “I’m not sure that will work for me like it works for you.”

“Don’t stress.” On a pivot, he continued walking away from me.

*

I stressed.

I stressed for the next day and a half, until there was a knock at the door.

“Got it!” I ran down the stairs just as Aubrey was getting ready to turn the handle.

“How do you know it’s for you?” She rolled her eyes and opened the door, giving me a shove to the side. “It’s for you,” she said breathlessly. “Hey. Slade, right?” She held out her hand.

He ignored it, glancing past her to me.

“Slade. Aubrey. Aubrey. Slade.” I nudged her out of the way more gently than she did to me.

“Nice to meet you,” she said like an afterthought when I stepped outside and shut the door for some privacy.

“You weren’t in class this morning. And you’re missing the rest of the week? It’s hard to recover from that.”

He handed me a bag. “His food. His health records. A number to call if I don’t come home.”

My heart stopped beating and cracked into little pieces. “Um …”

“Questions?”

“Where—”

“About him, not me.” He returned a stern expression.

I cleared the emotion from my throat. “Shouldn’t I have your number? If something happened here, wouldn’t you want to know?”

“You have him. Nothing should happen unless you do something stupid and reckless.”

I coughed on a laugh. “That’s rich coming from the drug dealer who’s nursing a bullet wound while getting ready to put himself in harm’s way again. You’re going to get caught. And if you happen to live to tell about it, it will be from a prison cell. That makes you a terrible dog dad. Jericho will not come visit you.”

“Are you done?”

Curling my hair behind my ear on one side, I nodded.

“Thank god. Bye.”

“Is it her?” I said to his back when he turned away from me. “Are you going someplace with her?”

“Let it go.”

I didn’t want to let it go. I didn’t want to let him go. Even if he wasn’t mine, I felt like he … like we were something.

When his taillights disappeared, I stepped into the house with Jericho, shut the door, and leaned my back against it. “Don’t be stupid and fall for the drug dealer, Livy,” I whispered.

“Whoa … what did you just say?”

I glanced up as Missy came down the stairs with her bag over her shoulder. “Hi, puppy.” She hunched down to pet Jericho.