The Seven Dials Mystery (Superintendent Battle 2)

“Mr. Lomax, my lord, has already caught sight of your lordship when driving up the drive.”

Lord Caterham sighed deeply.

“He would. Very well, Tredwell, I am coming.”

In a manner highly characteristic, Lord Caterham was always most genial when his feelings were in reality the reverse. He greeted George now with a heartiness quite unparalleled.

“My dear fellow, my dear fellow. Delighted to see you. Absolutely delighted. Sit down. Have a drink. Well, well, this is splendid!”

And having pushed George into a large armchair, he sat down opposite him and blinked nervously.

“I wanted to see you very particularly,” said George.

“Oh!” said Lord Caterham faintly, and his heart sank, whilst his mind raced actively over all the dread possibilities that might lie behind that simple phrase.

“Very particularly,” said George with heavy emphasis.

Lord Caterham’s heart sank lower than ever. He felt that something was coming worse than anything he had yet thought of.

“Yes?” he said, with a courageous attempt at nonchalance.

“Is Eileen at home?”

Lord Caterham felt reprieved, but slightly surprised.

“Yes, yes,” he said. “Bundle’s here. Got that friend of hers with her—the little Wade girl. Very nice girl—very nice girl. Going to be quite a good golfer one day. Nice easy swing—”

He was chatting garrulously on when George interrupted with ruthlessness:

“I am glad that Eileen is at home. Perhaps I might have an interview with her presently?”

“Certainly, my dear fellow, certainly.” Lord Caterham still felt very surprised, but was still enjoying the sensation of reprieve. “If it doesn’t bore you.”

“Nothing could bore me less,” said George. “I think, Caterham, if I may say so, that you hardly appreciate the fact that Eileen is grown up. She is no longer a child. She is a woman, and, if I may say so, a very charming and talented woman. The man who succeeds in winning her love will be extremely lucky. I repeat it—extremely lucky.”

“Oh, I daresay,” said Lord Caterham. “But she’s very restless, you know. Never content to be in one place for more than two minutes together. However, I daresay young fellows don’t mind that nowadays.”

“You mean that she is not content to stagnate. Eileen has brains, Caterham; she is ambitious. She interests herself in the questions of the day, and brings her fresh and vivid young intellect to bear upon them.”

Lord Caterham stared at him. It occurred to him that what was so often referred to as “the strain of modern life” had begun to tell upon George. Certainly his description of Bundle seemed to Lord Caterham ludicrously unlike.

“Are you sure you are feeling quite well?” he asked anxiously.

George waved the inquiry aside impatiently.

“Perhaps, Caterham, you begin to have some inkling of my purpose in visiting you this morning. I am not a man to undertake fresh responsibilities lightly. I have a proper sense, I hope, of what is due to the position I hold. I have given this matter my deep and earnest consideration. Marriage, especially at my age, is not to be undertaken without full—er—consideration. Equality of birth, similarity of tastes, general suitability, and the same religious creed—all these things are necessary and the pros and cons have to be weighed and considered. I can, I think, offer my wife a position in society that is not to be despised. Eileen will grace that position admirably. By birth and breeding she is fitted for it, and her brains and her acute political sense cannot but further my career to our mutual advantage. I am aware, Caterham, that there is—er—some disparity in years. But I can assure you that I feel full of vigour—in my prime. The balance of years should be on the husband’s side. And Eileen has serious tastes—an older man will suit her better than some young jackanapes without either experience or savoir faire. I can assure you, my dear Caterham, that I will cherish her—er—exquisite youth; I will cherish it—er—it will be appreciated. To watch the exquisite flower of her mind unfolding—what a privilege! And to think that I never realized—”

He shook his head deprecatingly and Lord Caterham, finding his voice with difficulty, said blankly:

“Do I understand you to mean—ah, my dear fellow, you can’t want to marry Bundle?”

“You are surprised. I suppose to you it seems sudden. I have your permission, then, to speak to her?”

“Oh, yes,” said Lord Caterham. “If it’s permission you want—of course you can. But you know, Lomax, I really shouldn’t if I were you. Just go home and think it over like a good fellow. Count twenty. All that sort of thing. Always a pity to propose and make a fool of yourself.”

“I daresay you mean your advice kindly, Caterham, though I must confess that you put it somewhat strangely. But I have made up my mind to put my fortune to the test. I may see Eileen?”

“Oh, it’s nothing to do with me,” said Lord Caterham hastily; “Eileen settles her own affairs. If she came to me tomorrow and said she was going to marry the chauffeur, I shouldn’t make any objections. It’s the only way nowadays. Your children can make life damned unpleasant if you don’t give in to them in every way. I say to Bundle, ‘Do as you like, but don’t worry me,’ and really, on the whole, she is amazingly good about it.”

George stood up intent upon his purpose.

“Where shall I find her?”

“Well, really, I don’t know,” said Lord Caterham vaguely. “She might be anywhere. As I told you just now, she’s never in the same place for two minutes together. No repose.”

“And I suppose Miss Wade will be with her? It seems to me, Caterham, that the best plan would be for you to ring the bell and ask your butler to find her, saying that I wish to speak to her for a few minutes.”

Lord Caterham pressed the bell obediently.

“Oh, Tredwell,” he said, when the bell was answered. “Just find her ladyship, will you. Tell her Mr. Lomax is anxious to speak to her in the drawing room.”

“Yes, my lord.”

Tredwell withdrew. George seized Lord Caterham’s hand and wrung it warmly, much to the latter’s discomfort.

“A thousand thanks,” he said. “I hope soon to bring you good news.”

He hastened from the room.

“Well,” said Lord Caterham. “Well!”

And after a long pause:

“What has Bundle been up to?”

The door opened again.

“Mr. Eversleigh, my lord.”

As Bill hastened in, Lord Caterham caught his hand and spoke earnestly.

“Hullo, Bill. You’re looking for Lomax, I suppose? Look here, if you want to do a good turn, hurry to the drawing room and tell him the Cabinet have called an immediate meeting, or get him away somehow. It’s really not fair to let the poor devil make an ass of himself all for some silly girl’s prank.”

“I’ve not come for Codders,” said Bill. “Didn’t know he was here. It’s Bundle I want to see. Is she anywhere about?”

“You can’t see her,” said Lord Caterham. “Not just now, at any rate. George is with her.”

“Well—what does it matter?”

“I think it does rather,” said Lord Caterham. “He’s probably spluttering horribly at this minute, and we mustn’t do anything to make it worse for him.”

“But what is he saying?”

“Heaven knows,” said Lord Caterham. “A lot of damned nonsense, anyway. Never say too much, that was always my motto. Grab the girl’s hand and let events take their course.”

Bill stared at him.

“But look here, sir, I’m in a hurry. I must talk to Bundle—”

“Well, I don’t suppose you’ll have to wait long. I must confess I’m rather glad to have you here with me—I suppose Lomax will insist on coming back and talking to me when it’s all over.”

“When what’s all over? What is Lomax supposed to be doing?”

“Hush,” said Lord Caterham. “He’s

proposing.”

“Proposing? Proposing what?”

“Marriage. To Bundle. Don’t ask me why. I suppose he’s come to what they call the dangerous age. I can’t explain it any other way.”

“Proposing to Bundle? The dirty swine. At his age.”

Bill’s face grew crimson.

“He says he’s in the prime of life,” said Lord Caterham cautiously.

“He? Why, he’s decrepit—senile! I—” Bill positively choked.

“Not at all,” said Lord Caterham coldly. “He’s five years younger than I am.”

“Of all the damned cheek! Codders and Bundle! A girl like Bundle! You oughtn’t to have allowed it.”

“I never interfere,” said Lord Caterham.

“You ought to have told him what you thought of him.”

“Unfortunately modern civilization rules that out,” said Lord Caterham regretfully. “In the Stone Age now—but, dear me, I suppose even then I shouldn’t be able to do it—being a small man.”

“Bundle! Bundle! Why, I’ve never dared to ask Bundle to marry me because I knew she’d only laugh. And George—a disgusting windbag, an unscrupulous hypocritical old hot air merchant—a foul, poisonous self-advertiser—”

“Go on,” said Lord Caterham. “I am enjoying this.”

“My God!” said Bill simply and with feeling. “Look here, I must be off.”

“No, no, don’t go. I’d much rather you stayed. Besides, you want to see Bundle.”

“Not now. This has driven everything else out of my head. You don’t know where Jimmy Thesiger is by any chance? I believe he was staying with the Cootes. Is he there still?”

“I think he went back to town yesterday. Bundle and Loraine were over there on Saturday. If you’ll only wait—”

But Bill shook his head energetically and rushed from the room. Lord Caterham tiptoed out into the hall, seized a hat and made a hurried exit by the side door. In the distance he observed Bill streaking down the drive in his car.

“That young man will have an accident,” he thought.