Rebirth (RAW Family 3)

A.J. took her lead and pressed his small fingers to her face. When he suddenly dropped them and asked, “Why do you cry at night?” I very nearly died.

Wide-eyed and thoroughly confused by his ill-mannered conduct, I spun around and scolded him. “That is enough.”

But Ana put a hand up to me, letting me know it was okay. I couldn’t help but notice the way her hands shook as she spoke, as if it was taxing her greatly to use her voice, but she did that for A.J. “I cry because I’m sad, baby.”

And A.J. rewarded her.

Standing suddenly, he rushed to his room. We all heard the commotion as he threw things around, and when he finally found what he was looking for, he returned. Ana took the outstretched brown bear he held, and as she looked at it, he told her, “Sometimes, when I get sad, I hug my bear.” He looked her in the eye in the unabashed way only a child could. “He feels nice. He’s soft and smells like cookies.”

Ana put her nose to the center of the teddy bear’s stomach then smiled. “He does.” She handed him back his bear. “But I can’t take him from you. He’s yours.”

He puffed out his chest, as he stated, “I’m a big boy. I don’t need him anymore.”

“Sure you do,” she said kindly, holding out his bear, insisting he take it from her.

When he said what he did, pride warmed me. “I think you need him more.”

He was a good boy and he genuinely wanted to help. As I plated up breakfast, I quietly told her, “Stubborn as a mule, he is. He won’t take no for an answer.” My eyes widened comically. “Trust me on that.”

At my son’s persistence, she looked down at the bear, gently touching its nose before hugging it to her, her long black hair falling over her face. Her voice was soft. “Thank you.”

He returned her smile. “You’re pretty, Ana.” Then he turned to me. “Can I watch TV now?”

Oh my God, this child. “Sure.”

Julius’s shoulders shook in silent laughter as he sat at the table, taking his plate with him. “I better watch my back, Lex. I think your boy’s tryin’a steal my girl.”

As I sat with them, I uttered, “I don’t know what’s gotten into him this morning. I’m so sorry.”

But it was Ana who responded. “It’s okay. I love A.J.”

I looked at my son in the next room and my face softened. “He loves you too.”

And he did. He proved it time and time again, spending time with Ana when he thought she was lonely, talking to her, sharing his snacks with the little woman, bringing her his most cherished things to borrow or keep. And when time came to say goodbye, A.J. was devastated.

He asked a soggy, “Are you ever coming back?” as he wiped at his nose with his sleeve.

Ana knelt down and smiled gently. “Of course, baby. We’re not moving far.” She took his hand and held it tight. “You can come visit whenever you like.”

“Now?” he asked, sniffling, and she laughed softly at how ridiculous he was being.

I had a strong feeling that A.J. had helped her heal some, and there was no better compliment as a parent. It spoke volumes about his character.

It hurt to see him lose his friend, but it was nice to see Ana and Julius taking steps forward in life. For a long while, they were stuck. Not moving forward or backward.

Just... stuck.

With a gentle hand, she wiped away his tears and spoke quietly. “I promise as soon as we have furniture and I have a bed for you, you can come have a sleepover with us, okay?”

At that, he smiled through his tears. “Okay.” He hugged her as tightly as he could, and when they parted, Julius held his arms open.

A.J. went to him slowly, dragging his feet, and when he reached him, he dipped his chin, looking miserable. Julius picked him up, and when A.J. rested his head on Uncle Julius’s shoulder, my insides melted into a pile of goop.

“You’re the man of the house,” Julius told him, and A.J. nodded at his shoulder. “That means you’ve gotta look after your mom.”

I smiled sadly when A.J. looked to me and muttered, “I will. I promise.”

“That’s my boy,” Julius said, holding his godson close and swaying gently from side to side. “You good?”

A.J. shook his head dismally and Julius hugged him tighter, snuffling out a soft laugh through his nose. “Aw, c’mon. You’re killin’ me here.”

When I saw A.J. smirk, I knew he was milking it, clearly loving the attention, and later that night, when Julius and Ana had finally left us, the house felt dreadfully still, quiet in a way it hadn’t been in months, and to be honest, I didn’t like it. Not one bit.

Weeks passed, and the house remained still. Julius called, and he sounded uneasy when he said, “I think I might be overstepping here, Lex.”

What an odd sentiment.

We were so far past overstepping. After all we had been through, I didn’t think we could have lived any other way than what we were. Boundaries never got crossed because there were no boundaries between us.

“No such thing,” I told him. “What’s up?”

“I got a call from someone I know. Actually, the daughter of someone I know. She’s looking for work.”

Yep. I was definitely confused.

I drawled out, “Okay?”

“She doesn’t have a lot of experience, but she is good at one thing.”

“Oh?” I asked cautiously, “What’s that?”

“She’s great with kids.”

And my heart sunk. “Julius—”

But he cut me off with, “Think about it, Lex. You’ve wanted to go back to work for a while now but said the hours make it too hard to juggle A.J. and a job.” He quickly uttered, “Molly can help with that. You’d be able to work again, whatever the hours.” After a silent moment, he vowed, “A.J. will love her.”

I didn’t want to hurt Julius’s feeling, but this did feel like overstepping. “Her name’s Molly?”

“Yep. She’s twenty-one and looking for something permanent.”

I sighed softly.

My maternal worry came into play. “Do you trust her?”

“Lex,” was all he said, and I knew it was a stupid question. As if Julius would let anybody untrustworthy around his godson.

The thought of working again sounded amazing. I couldn’t help but consider the offer.

“Well, I can’t promise permanent, but—” I let out a long drawn out sigh. “—maybe she can come down for a day or two next week so I can get to know her a little.”

Julius was okay with that. “Of course, I wouldn’t jump into anything until you meet her. She’s, uh...” He paused. “She’s different.”

The following week, when I met Molly, I understood what “different” meant.

When I answered the door and found the petite, olive-skinned girl standing there, wearing black skintight jeans, a loose mesh long-sleeved top, and combat boots, I balked. She wore thick black eye shadow around her wide hazel eyes, and her big, pouty lips were painted an aubergine color. Her dark hair was short and curly, parted in the middle, and she had bangs, which she wore straight. Her short trimmed nails were painted black and she had tattoos. When she opened her mouth, I didn’t expect to hear the sweetness her voice provided.

“Ms. Ballentine?” When I continued to stare at her, her eyes darted around slowly and she reached up to scratch at her shoulder. “Uh, I’m Molly.” But I couldn’t speak. Her eyes widened as she clarified further, “Julius sent me.”

The last statement came out sounding like a question.

It took me a moment to reboot, and when I did, I shook my head as if to clear it. “I’m sorry,” I told her, opening the door and stepping aside. “Please, come in.”

She did, but she hesitated. I didn’t blame her. If I’d received the same welcome I’d just given, I’d hesitate too.

Once inside, I led her into the kitchen and smiled politely. “Have a seat.” The moment she was seated, her knee bounced erratically and I just knew I’d ruined my first impre

ssion with this girl. I tried to make it up. “So, you’re a babysitter?”

“A nanny,” she illuminated. “I was an au pair, actually.”

She did not look it. “Oh, really? Whereabouts?”

“In London.” Molly looked around the kitchen until she spied A.J.’s class photo on the fridge. It sat next to the one and only photo I had of Twitch. She looked at my beautiful boy and a small smile played at her lips. “That’s A.J.?”

I turned to look at that photo and smiled. “Yeah. That’s him.”

“He’s cute.”

“Oh, he knows it.” My smile widened.

A brief moment of silence passed between us, and I watched as Molly’s face fell. She stood and opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. She forced a smile and tried again. When she spoke, her voice held an understanding to it. “I don’t think this is going to work out.” I stood and attempted to speak, but she shook her head. “It’s okay, really. I get it.” As she backed out of the kitchen, she averted her gaze, and said, “Thanks for meeting me.”

That young girl felt alienated, and I had done that to her.

I felt like the lowest piece of scum to have ever been born.

By the time I found my feet and started after her, she was already in her bright red muscle car. I rushed out of my house, barefoot, and just as the car started with a low rumble, I stepped out in front of it, and she blinked at me as if I were a crazy person.

I motioned for her to turn off the engine, and when she did, she continued to sit in the driver side, looking cautiously at me and lowering the window. I walked the few steps over and bent at the waist, looking in. “Why don’t you come back inside?” She side-eyed me but didn’t make to move. So I tried to mend what damage I had done by saying, “A.J. will be home soon. If we’re going to do this, I’d like for you to meet him.”