The One I Need (Snakes Henchmen MC 2)

She didn't even hesitate to include Ember and me in that analysis. Everyone is going to be just fine when I'm gone. They have Lynette to take care of them. I'm not going to stand here being a martyr and say they won't even miss me. Of course, they will, and I'll miss them, but I have to get out of here.

I wrap my arms around her. She doesn't even hesitate to hold me close to her. “I love you, Mom. I need you to know that.” I heard her gasp when I called her mom, but she just absorbs it while holding me tighter in her arms.

“I love you, too, my beautiful daughter.”

Why couldn't Celia hold me and tell me she loved me with this much ease?

When I was little, if I tried to hug Celia, she'd flinch, hugging me half-heartedly, tapping my back slightly before pushing me off her. By the time I was nine, I learned not to hug her. I would just hug my teddy bear instead and wish it was my daddy.

I never want Ember to feel the way I did when I was younger. I never want her to cry at night over the daddy she loved and believes to be dead. Luckily for me, she's too young to remember Tank. She'll miss him for a little while. But that will fade.

This is right for us, Ember and me. So why do I feel like it's anything but as we drive away from the only family we have?

Why is my heart breaking like this?

I swipe at the tears falling down my cheeks as I put even more distance between us and Tank. I just need to get to a motel for the night, then I can really think about what the hell I'm going to do.

After two hours on the road, I pull up outside a bed and breakfast in a small town called Moxton. The place is so small I doubt it's even on the map. It's a quaint little place, small wooden church in the center of town, one diner, where I bet everyone knows everyone. There's a small bank, a library, small school, couple shops. I bet there's less than a couple hundred people live here. Too secluded for me, but fine for tonight. I just need a place to rest my head.

After lifting a grumpy Ember from her seat and grabbing her diaper bag and my purse, we head on inside. The place is nothing but a mocked up British, Victorian style home. Three stories of museum-like furniture and I can tell why from the elderly British lady who greets me at the front desk as soon as I walk in.

“Welcome. Welcome. Are you looking for a room for the night or directions to the next town?” This sweet old lady has a sweet voice to go with her attitude.

“A room, please. We've had a long drive and my daughter is a little grumpy and tired.”

The old lady, who I'd say is in her seventies, smiles kindly and tells me that her name is Elizabeth and that her daughter is mayor of this small town, her son the sheriff. She runs this place with her husband, not that they get too many people passing through needing a room for the night. Not that they're short of money, this place is just a hobby for them.

She shows me to a double room on the second floor, apologizes for the fact she doesn't have a crib for Ember, then tells me where the shower is.

After grabbing some towels and handing them to me, she tells me that supper will be ready in ten minutes. I wasn't expecting that. She's only charging me thirty bucks for the night, and that includes breakfast. God only knows how she affords to run the place only charging that much.

Elizabeth's husband, Arty, is also British, and over a supper of spaghetti and sauce, he tells me all about how they met when they were teens, fell in love and followed their dreams to move here, start a business and family. I've never known such a sweet couple in all my life. Arty is so sweet with Ember, making funny faces and weird noises just to make her laugh. Until she starts calling for Tank – her daddy.

I sigh heavily.

“Whatever her father did to hurt you, was it worth running away because of?”

I smile slightly in Elizabeth's direction. I'm glad she can't see any of the bruises Mike left on my face thanks to the makeup I've used to cover them. These poor elderly people would think I was running from my man because he beat me. Thank god the split in my lip isn't big.

“In all honesty, I don't know,” I tell them.

The whole time I've been sitting with these people, all I've thought about is what Tank and I might be like when we're old and grey. Will we still love each other like this? Will we still want to be near each other with no thought of being apart?

I also can't stop thinking about how much I'm hurting Ember. I swore never to hurt her again. I allowed her to form a tight bond with Tank, so tight she believes him to be her daddy. I saw the emotion in his eyes the first time he heard her calling him that. And I saw the hurt when I snapped at him about it.

I don't understand why I reacted the way I did to him being angry with me for what I did. Of course, he'd be angry, shocked, confused. Maybe if I'd been honest with him, to begin with, told him who I really was, none of this would've happened. He would've stood by my side, strong and proud of who I am, proud to call me his.

What the hell have I done?

I love that man with every piece of me. He deserves to know the truth about who I am. Once he knows, he can choose whether or not to walk away. I need to put my faith in the man who loves not only me but my daughter too.

“Did he beat you?”

They did notice. Typical.

“No,” I chuckle. Tank would never lay a hand on me. He wouldn't live very long should he try.

“Mistreat you?”

I shake my head at Elizabeth with a smile on my face while wiping Ember's face and hands before lifting her in my arms and rocking her. She enjoyed her food, but now she's tired.

“He's a good man, I'm just not very confident in my ability to love him enough.”

“Us men aren't as complicated as you'd think.” Don't all men say that? “All we really need is the love of a good woman. Never doubt yourself, Nova. How that little girl trusts you to love her, that's how your man will trust you. I bet he'd follow you to the ends of the earth if it meant he could just see you smile.”

I bet he would too. The thought makes me smile. I've never wanted anybody the way I want Tank. Never have I wanted to literally spend my whole life with anyone the way I do him. Ember may not be of his blood but she is his little girl, he is her daddy, and she needs him as much as she needs me.

But what if I go back and he no longer wants me?

What if he's out there fuckin' some whore just to forget me?

I don't think I could handle that. I'd literally kill the bitch in front of him before castrating him! But how can I blame him when I left him?

I need to sleep. I'll know what to do once I have. My mind will clear and everything will look better in the morning. Isn't that what people say?

I wasn't fast enough. I wasn't fuckin' fast enough!

She left without so much as a goodbye to Jett or Shepard. According to Willow, Nova stopped by to see Lynette but didn't say anything about leaving. I knew she was lying the second it came out of her mouth.

In the end, she told me that Nova had told her that she was leaving but not where she was going. I didn't even know where the fuck to start looking for her!

I didn't even get to say goodbye to Ember. Does Nova think so little of me that she'd honestly keep Ember from me? I know I have no claim to her, the girl ain't really mine. But fuck! I fuckin' love that little girl as though she was mine, dammit!

I can't and won't sit back and wallow, she ain't the first person I've lost in my life, she won't be the last. But losing her and Ember has left a hole inside of me that will never be filled. She's broken me in a way that will never be fixed.

Yeah, I'll move on, live my life the way I used to, but it'll be a half-life.

I only hope she finds some happiness wherever she ends up. I hope she's safe, and I hope she finds the love she deserves. I believe she deserves that more than she believes she does.

I couldn't sleep last night thinking about her, wondering where she'll end up, wondering if Ember is okay, how long it will take her to forget me. That thought alone tore my heart apart.

There's no point dwelling on these thoughts, it won't change a damn thing. Nova is gone, Ember with her. They're not coming back. I have to move on. However hard it may be.

Walking into Briggs, a small family run supermarket, I make my way to the back room, ignoring everyone around me. I'm here to collect, nothing more.

Tim, the store owner’s fuck-faced son is who I bump into on the way to the back room. I hate the cunt, and I'm so not in the mood for his shit today. “Payment isn't due until tomorrow.” Ignoring him, I carry on walking. If I acknowledge him right now, I'll end up killin' the piece of shit!

Bill, the owner, is out back in his small office filled with security cameras.

How do I know he's there?

He's always there.

I don't even knock before entering the room.

Why the fuck should I? Pricks like this know who I am. I'm Tank, Snakes Henchmen! And you do not fuck with The Snakes Henchmen.