All For You (Snakes Henchmen MC 3)
I made sure that prick knew I wasn't happy, and that I'd fuckin' kill him if he ever so much as thinks about Willow again. I mean it too. More than I've ever meant it before!
“Why don't you back the fuck off a little, huh?” Cunt has balls, I'll give him that.
“Listen to me, you fuckin' dumb shit!” I had Trace by the shirt front. Pinned against the wall at the side of the clubhouse. Shepard may have let him off, but I wasn't about to let him walk away thinkin' he'd got away with what he did.
Why couldn't he be a pussy who whimpered and pissed himself instead of a tough SOB who doesn't back down from anything?
He's not as tall as I am, not as built either, but the man backs down from no one. A good quality for a Snake.
Doesn't mean he's not a massive cunt, though.
Doesn't mean he won't fight back either.
“Don't even think about...”
“Save it, Hammer! I'm not gonna go near her. Okay? But don't for one second think I won't be there for her if she needs me.”
“Don't make me laugh!” The stupid fuck! “You don't give a fuck about Willow! If you cared even a little about her, you wouldn't've cheated on her every damn chance you got.”
He grabbed my wrists and yanked them from his shirt. He straightened it, eyes stormy as he looked me dead in mine. I wanted to kill him then and there, but I knew where that would lead me. Out of the Snakes... or worse.
“I know what I've done. I ain't got no excuses, Hammer. I'm a cunt. And it was once, that's all.” Like that makes a difference. Ain't once enough? Not that I believe for one second it was only once. And why pick a damn club whore to cheat on your girl with? “But I do care about her, even if it doesn't look that way.”
I snarled at him. Nothing he said would ever convince me he cared for Willow. No man who loves his woman would ever cheat on her.
“Why don't you just claim the girl, Hammer?”
“Shut the fuck up!” What the fuck does he know about anything, anyway?
“You pretend like you don't want her, but it's very fuckin' obvious to everyone else that you do. She wants you too, you know? Always fuckin' has. I never stood a damn chance! Always in your fuckin' shadow.”
I slammed the cunt back against the wall, ready to rip his fuckin' head off! Motherfucker just laughed. Typical of this prick. Sometimes I wonder if he's got a couple screws loose. He knows what I can do, how fuckin' vile the act of killing is when I commit it. Wasn't bothered by any of it.
“You don't know a fuckin' thing about it. Stay away from Willow or I'll fuckin' kill you, rules or no fuckin' rules.”
I walked away from him. Needed to get the anger outta me. That's why I'm here, in the gym, boxing this shit outta my system. The harder I punch that damn bag, the angrier I get. There's no fuckin' truth in what Trace said. I do not want Willow!
Liar!
I punch the bag harder, my muscles tightening and flexing, burning with the force of those hits. That bastard has gotten inside my head. Too fuckin' far inside. I'll admit it to myself, I want Willow, I've wanted her for longer than I'm willing to admit. Fuck, I wanted her when she was eighteen. Knew I'd never be able to put my hands on her. Knew Shepard would kill me if I went there.
I ignored it. I'm good at that. Knew I'd fuck her up if I touched her. I'd never do that to her. Anyway, she was smart enough not to show any interest in me. Others might say she's always wanted me, but she never made it clear to me.
Then I met my Cindy. Yeah, I'd seen her before when she was a kid. Even saw her at Coral and Stryker's wedding. But she was different this time, so grown up, so beautiful. Love, at first sight, doesn't even come close to what we had.
I remember our first conversation like it was yesterday. Coral had brought her to the clubhouse to see Shepard. He was happy to see her. Every fuckin' guy in the room was. But it was Willow who grabbed her, both of them squealing like little girls. I couldn't take my eyes off of either of them. Both women were so damn beautiful. Long legs, full figures, pouty lips. Then Cindy turned and our eyes locked.
She was so fuckin' shy. So damn beautiful. My cock twitched in my jeans the second she smiled at me. I watched her for a while, then she snuck off to the bathroom and I followed.
Smart girl knew I was following her. Found her waiting just outside the bathroom door, a smile on her gorgeous face.
‘Are you following me, handsome?’ That one question did me in. I was lost to her at that moment. I wanted her and I wouldn't stop until she was mine. I'd never been the kind of man to settle down, never thought I'd find a woman who'd put up with me. But looking at her then, I knew she was it for me.
‘Yeah. I'm followin' you, beautiful.’
She grabbed my cut and pulled me toward her. ‘Good.’ She said while standing on her tiptoes and crushing her lips against mine. She was mine from that moment on. Nothing else meant anything to me but Cindy. God, I loved her so fuckin' much.
Looking back, when we told Willow about us, just for a split second, I saw the crushed look in her eyes. I didn't know what it meant back then, but I'm starting to understand that she wanted to be the one I claimed.
I can't imagine what that felt like for her.
She never let on that she was hurt. She was genuinely happy for Cindy and me, even more so when we got engaged. It was quick, but it felt so right.
Willow was nothing but happy to help Cindy with the wedding arrangements. I'd come home each evening to find them deep in conversation about wedding plans. Glasses of wine in their hands, laughter echoing off the walls.
What kind of woman in love with a man would help someone else be with him?
Willow, that's who.
She's so fuckin' special. I've always known it.
She was there for me when Cindy was killed. The only person I could bear to have near me. But not all the time. Sometimes I couldn't stand to have her near me either. But she never gave up on me, she never completely walked away. Told me every day that she wouldn't give up on me, that even though I didn't want to hear it, one day, things would get easier for me.
Things did get easier as time went on. I guess that shit is true. Time eases the pain little by little. Cindy wi
ll always be in my heart, there is no doubt about that. I'll never be able to let her go fully. She was my fuckin' world.
They say that true angels are here but for a short while before God takes them back into the kingdom of heaven.
God took my Cindy too soon. But did he leave the angel Willow to mend my heart, my mind, my soul, my life? Was she always the one I was destined to be with?
I don't know. God, I just don't know!
I'm so fuckin' conflicted. These feelings I have toward Willow are making me crazy. I want her, want to make her mine, but I feel so damn guilty because of Cindy. What if being with Willow means I'll forget Cindy? I can't bear the thought of moving on with someone else and slowly forgetting the woman who taught me how to live.
Fuck this fuckin' shit!
I pound on the bag harder and harder. This shit ain't helping to clear my head none. If anything, I'm making myself crazier. I pound and pound that fuckin' bag until I have no fight left in me. I rest my forehead against it, breathing hard and fast.
What would Shepard say if I claimed his little girl? Almost tore my brother's head off when he claimed Nova, Prez's middle daughter.
'Course, he didn't. He let Tank claim Nova, gave his blessing for my brother to adopt Nova's little girl. They're even getting married soon.
Fuck it. I have to talk to Willow. I don't fuckin' know what I'm gonna say, but I can't go on like this. I know it's too soon for her to be with anyone after Trace, but she has to know that I won't be keeping my distance anymore. I won't be leaving her alone, just like she never left me alone. I'm here for her now and always.
Who knows what might come out of it.
Chapter Five
Willow
I jolt upright in bed, sweat pouring out of me as my body shakes like crazy. I haven't had a nightmare this bad in a couple weeks. My whole body is aching, my scar is burning. I feel like I'm going to vomit. My head is so tight.