Never Give You Up (Snakes Henchmen MC 4)

I could call my mother-in-law, but Sophie isn't too well right now, so the last thing Lynette needs is me calling and taking her attention away from her little girl.

I can't call my friends because they're not the kind of people who would spare even five minutes to help anyone else but themselves, even more so since I married Jett. He's not one of them. They're shallow, and I have no idea why I was ever friends with them in the first place.

Abrianna is out of the country with her family, and Tony isn't around either. I don't want Lorenzo around me right now, not that he's here, he's off doing business while my brother isn't around, and only because Jett promised I'd be okay with him.

I feel so alone right now.

The only other person I can call is Willow. She told me a couple of weeks ago that if I ever needed her for anything, then all I have to do is call, and she'll be here, but if Hammer is home, he might not let her talk to me. However, I really need to speak to someone right now.

I close my eyes when I hear Hammer's voice on the line and not Willow's. How fucking typical is that? He still fucking hates me, and I still don't understand why. I have tried so hard to understand what it is about me that he doesn't like. To understand why he's formed a relationship with Draven but not me. Am I really such a bad person?

It has played on my mind so much since the first moment we met, and he looked at me like I was filth on his boot. Months have passed, and nothing has changed. Even now, I know he isn't going to be happy that it's me on the other end of the line. I'm not even going to ask why he's answering Willow's phone, he is her husband and has every right to do so.

“Hi. Um, it's Maria. I just wondered if Willow was there?”

“No.” Short and mean.

“Kay. Thanks anyway.” My voice cracks on the last word. I was trying to be strong, but fuck being strong right now, I'm fucking terrified something could be wrong with my baby, and I have no one here to help me to be strong, to tell me it will all be okay.

I hear him sigh deeply down the line, and it breaks my heart to think this man could hate me so much he can't even say two words to me without wanting to kill me.

“She's with her mother. Left her phone behind.” He tells me.

“It's okay. It doesn't matter. Thank you for...”

“What's the matter, Maria?” He sounds put out. I think there's concern in there somewhere though. It seemed like it, at least. Maybe it's just my wishful thinking.

“I just won-wondered if Willow... If she might come to the hospital with me. I wouldn't have ca-called, but I don't have anyone else right now.” I wipe the tears from my right eye and try breathing through my emotions. I want him to be able to understand me, not have me a blubbering mess on the line.

“Hospital? What for?”

I swallow hard, audibly so. “I haven't felt my baby move since yesterday. I tried to call Jett, but he's not answering, and Draven isn't here, and I... I'm so scared.”

“I'm on my way. Five minutes and I'll be with you.”

“No, it's okay, I can go by myself.”

“Five minutes, Maria.” The line goes dead. He might hate me, but he's not going to leave me to worry. Maybe he doesn't hate me after all.

More like he's not the kind of man to leave a pregnant woman scared for her unborn baby's life. You could have been any woman in the world, Maria. He would have done it for anyone.

I pull myself together enough to be ready for Hammer to pick me up in his truck a few minutes later. He even helps me into the passenger seat as a gentleman would. He asks if I'm okay. I try not to cry when he looks me right in the eye, and for the first time, I see the look a concerned big brother would give his little sister. The same look I would have gotten from Draven had he been here. I nod my head to let him know I'm fine and turn away from him.

Hammer gets me to the hospital in next to no time. Helps me out of the truck, and loops my arm with his as we walk inside the building. It feels strange being this close to him, telling the doctor who comes running over to the sister of Draven Vidal, that this huge mountain, biker man beside me is also my big brother, the brother of Don Vidal. Her eyes almost pop out of her head. However, she rushes me into a private room.

There are no words to describe how scared I am right now. I'm terrified that the doctor is going to tell me that my baby has died. It's an age-old fear for any woman in my position. The doctor does a couple of tests, takes some blood, checks my blood pressure, which she says is fine, then takes an internal swab, and tells me promptly that there's no sign of infection, or that my water had broken. She asks me if I've been under any stress lately, have I been doing any exercise, have I been a little too lazy because that can also make the baby lazy. Bitch, I am not lazy!

I didn't mean to snap at her, but I don't have a mind to care if I hurt anyone's feelings right now. I just want to know if my baby is okay. She left the room after telling me she'd be right back. Now I'm waiting for an ultrasound to find out if everything is okay.

All I can do is pray that God will keep my baby safe, that all of this not feeling my baby move is just in my head. Please let it be that.

Everyone around me has children, Nova and Tank have two, one of each. Willow and Hammer are expecting their second baby. Even Avery is pregnant with her second child. Draven doesn't have any children, and I'm not sure he ever will, and I know that if I lose this baby, I won't be able to go through it again. I shall remain childless, and that scares me because I will lose the man I have come to love more than life itself.

No, you won't, Maria. Jett would never leave you because you lost the baby. He loves you, and you know that. He'll be there for you just as you will for him through the hardest time in your lives.

Feeling Hammer's hand on my stomach makes me cry. The act is so tender, so big brother like. I'm shaking with fear, my legs are literally shaking hard, but I can feel the warmth of my brother's hand on my belly through my shirt. It's oddly comforting. “Everything will be okay, sweetheart.” He called me sweetheart with so much tenderness my heart is racing.

“I don't think it will.”

“Look at me, Maria.” I don't want to look at him, looking at him hurts. It hurts because he can't even stand me, yet he's the one here with me, pretending to give a shit about me.

“Please look at me,” I force myself through sore eyes to look at him. He grips my hand in his huge one. “I know I've not been the best brother in the world to you,” He's been no kind of brother to me. “It was hard for me to get close to you. I'm cursed when it comes to the women in my life, Maria. My mom was killed when I was twenty, the woman I loved was murdered right in front of my eyes, then Willow, the woman I cannot live without was almost killed. I tried to stay away from her until I just couldn't any longer. Then you and Draven came into my life, and I knew I couldn't let you in, I couldn't risk anything ever happening to you because of me. I thought if I kept you at arm's length you'd be safe.”

I swallow hard. I get it now Hammer doesn't hate me, he doesn't want anything to happen to me because he cares about me.

I just wish he could understand how much he's hurt me with the way he's treated me; he didn't have to be so cruel to me all of the time. He could have had a relationship with me. That didn't mean he had to be around me all of the time.

“In the beginning, I was also struggling with finding out my dad wasn't actually my dad. He meant everything to me, Maria, he was my hero. I felt like I was betraying the man who raised and loved me by having you and Draven in my life.”

“We didn't mean to cause you pain.”

He holds his hand up to stop me, and the tears are streaming down my face. I don't know what the hell to do right now. I know Hammer is trying to take my mind off things. It's nice of him to try, but I'm not sure this isn't breaking my heart just as much as thinking about losing my baby.

“You didn't. I was going through stuff I should have let go of months ago. As I said, the women in my life tend to get hurt. I've lost some, al

most lost others. I didn't want to get close to you because I was scared you'd get hurt too.”

I can understand that. I've always understood the pain he's suffered. Draven explained about Hammer's ex-girlfriend and how she was murdered, and then how Willow was almost killed in the same way. Then she was attacked, and if it weren't for Draven, she would have died.

Jett was the one who told me the whole story when I asked if it was true. I felt so sorry for my brother. For everything, he'd been through in his life. However, he got a second chance with Willow, and he needs to try and let go of the fear he has about the women in his life getting hurt. I also know that's like asking a child to walk away from their favorite ice cream without tasting it first.

He strokes his thumb over the back of my hand and tells me, “I was also angry with my mother for keeping the truth from me. Angry with her for not being here to tell me why.”

“My father is not a good man, Hammer. The man who raised you, he was a good man. He loved you more than anything. Your mother loved you, and she wanted to protect you from the monster that is Joseph Vidal. The same way Draven protected me from him all these years. They both wanted you to have the best life, and I believe they gave you that. Don't hold on to hate, Hammer. Everything in this life happens for a reason.”

“I know that. I forgave my parents. I went to their graves the day of Ghost and Avery's wedding and told them as much. Titus will always be my father, but I can't deny you or Draven any longer.”

“It doesn't seem like you've had many problems getting close to Draven.” I smile because there's no malice in my voice.

He breathes deeply. “You're right. I accepted him pretty quickly. Not at first, I'll admit, but it didn't take long. There's no real excuse for what I've put you through, Maria. Other than what I've already told you. I see how much I've hurt you and I hate myself for it. You'll never know how sorry I am, and I hope one day you can forgive me.”