Loving Mr. Daniels

“My head is clear, Dan.”

“It’s not.” I walked over to him and wrapped my hands tightly around his head. “It’s not clear if you think for a f**king second that this Red guy trusts you. Get out of town, Jace. Please.”

“I have to find out who did it, Danny,” he whispered, his eyes filling with tears. “I have to find out who killed Mom, and the best way to do it is from the inside.”

“Why? Why can’t you just let it go? She’s gone. She’s not coming back.”

“Because I did it!” he cried, pointing to the spot where Mom died. “I’m the reason she’s…” He placed his fist over his mouth. “Her blood, her death. It’s on me.”

“No.” I shook my head. “It’s on the sick ass**le who had the gun.”

“It wasn’t supposed to be like this, you know,” he spoke softly. “I was supposed to go to college, too. Ya know? Dad thought I would go to college.”

“You still can.”

“I wanted back in. I wanted back into the band. I wanted to get clean. I wanted to stop all of this.”

“Jace…”

He bit his bottom lip and turned away from me. He rested his forearms on the top of his head and clasped his hands together. “Red wants me to pass some of his products to people. It’s easy enough. The clients are easy targets.”

“Clients? What clients?”

He turned back toward me. “Listen, Danny. I just need a little help. There’s a few kids at your school who—”

“You’re selling to kids? You’re selling to my students?” My eyes widened in horror. I stepped backwards.

“It’s not me, Danny. It’s Red. He’s testing me. He’s seeing if he can fully trust me. And if I can get these things out to a few of them, he said he’ll let me get my revenge. Mom’s revenge. He’ll tell me the guy’s name who killed her. With you being a teacher at Edgewood, maybe…maybe you can help get me a few names of the kids who use.”

“You’re f**king crazy. Do you hear yourself? He’s using you, Jace! He’s mocking you, dragging you back and forth like some toy. You think he didn’t know that I was a teacher there? You think he didn’t know that it would f**k up my life, too?”

“It won’t!” he promised and lied at the same time.

“It already has.” I paused. “I won’t help. And if I see you anywhere near my school, I will have you locked up again.”

He laughed uncomfortably. “Just like that, huh?”

I said nothing.

“You’ll have me locked up again for trying to find out who murdered our mother?” He paused and kicked around invisible rocks. “Okay. I don’t need your help. But if you get in my way, I will put you down.”

“You’re the one trying to sell drugs to students, Jace. Not me.”

“You’re right. You’re absolutely right,” he said, “But you’re the one f**king your students, not me. What was it? Ashlyn?” My fists tightened and I could feel my heart rate increase. He must have noticed too. “Ohh, is that a touchy subject? You’re all red in the face and shit.”

“Jace,” I said coldly, but I couldn’t say any more.

“You were right about one thing, Danny.” He pulled a cigarette and lighter out of his pocket. The cigarette rested between his lips and he lit it. His fingers moved to the side of his head and he tapped it. “I am f**king crazy. So don’t cross me. Or I’ll destroy you and your little student. I wonder what kind of things the other kids would say about her. As we both know, high school can be a real bitch.”

“Jace, if this is about Sarah—” I started to warn him, but he cut me off.

“Don’t!” His words grew darker. “Don’t bring her into this. I’m not kidding. I will f**king ruin your girlfriend’s life.”

He started to leave, and I sighed heavily. “What would Mom and Dad think? Of what you’re doing?”

“Well”—he didn’t look back—“I think they would be proud of me for actually following through with something. For bringing Mom’s death to justice.”

And like an infectious disease, Jace was spreading his way back into my life—again. I’d got away from his trouble. I’d focused on my music. I’d focused on teaching.

Yet somehow, someway, here we were again.

I marched back into the house and heard guitar strings being played. In the living room, Randy was sitting up on the couch, working on some new song lyrics. He looked up at me. “When did Jace get out?” he asked, playing his new tune.

“Don’t know, but he’s here.” I plopped down on the sofa. My hands ran across my face.

“He looked good though. Clean.”

I had to agree with that. I could always tell when Jace was using—he became jittery, nervous. But when I’d seen him at the cemetery and the school, he’d seemed strong. He’d looked like he had before he’d started using.

His hair was buzzed and he stood in business attire—probably something that Red guy had set up. But I knew Jace. I knew deep down how emotional he was, how broken he was. So if the temptation of the drugs was there, it wouldn’t be long before he welcomed them back into his life.

“What are ya working on?” I asked, changing the subject.

Randy picked up a book and tossed it to me. “Othello. I was trying to come up with some new material. I thought we could maybe open up with it on Friday for our show at The Upper Level. I know it’s a bit last minute but…”