After (After 1)

“Don’t you just love a hot shower after a long day?” His voice is muffled somewhat by the sound of the water, but I can still catch its smugness.

“I wouldn’t know; some rude naked guy stole my shower,” I huff and hear him chuckle.

“A sexy rude naked guy?” he teases. “Just come in before the hot water goes away.”

“I . . .” I want to, but taking a shower with someone is just so intimate, too intimate.

“Come on, live a little. It’s just a shower,” he says and opens the curtain. “Please.” He reaches his hand out and my eyes scan his long, inked torso, gleaming from the water sliding down his skin.

“Okay,” I whisper and undress while he watches every move I make. “Stop staring,” I scold him and he pretends to be wounded, placing his hand over his heart.

“Are you questioning my nobility?” He laughs and I nod slowly, trying to fight my smile. “I am insulted.”

He reaches his hand out to help, and I can’t believe I’m actually doing this, showering with someone. I try my best to cover myself with my arms as I wait for him to move from under the water.

“Is it weird that I love how you’re still shy around me?” he says, unfolding my arms, removing my shield. I stay quiet and he gently tugs my arms to bring me more under the water, which he’s blocking with his body. His head dips down, soaking my bare shoulder.

“I think it’s so appealing to me because you are so shy and innocent, yet you let me do dirty things to you.” His breath feels hotter than the water against my ear. I blink as his hands travel down my arms slowly. “And I know for a fact that you like when I say dirty things to you.”

I gulp and he smiles against my neck. “See how your pulse quickens . . . I can practically see it under your delicate skin.” He taps his index finger over the pulse point in my neck. I have no idea how I am standing; my legs have turned to mush, along with my brain.

His fingers running over my body make me stop worrying about the fact that we aren’t alone in the house; they make me want to be reckless and let Hardin do whatever he wants to me. When his long fingers wrap around my hips, I involuntarily lean into him.

“I love you, Tessa. You believe me, don’t you?” he asks.

I nod, wondering why he is asking me this right now, after we have said it so many times in the last twenty-four hours. “Yes, I believe you.” My voice is hoarse and I clear my throat.

“Good. I have never loved anyone before.” He goes from playful to seductive to serious so fast, I can barely keep up.

“Ever?” I think I already knew this, but it feels so different actually having him say the words, especially when we are like this. I thought he would have his head between my legs right now, not be expressing his feelings.

“No, never. Not even close,” he admits.

I wonder if he has ever had a girlfriend before—no, I don’t want to know if he has. He told me he doesn’t date, so I’m going to stick with that.

“Oh,” is all I can say.

“Do you love me the way you loved Noah?” he asks.

A sound between a cough and a gasp comes out of my mouth, and I look away from him. I grab the shampoo off the shelf. I haven’t even washed anything yet and we have been in here several minutes already.

“Well?” he presses.

I don’t know how to answer that. It’s totally different with Hardin than it was with Noah. I loved Noah, I think. I know I loved him, just not like this. Loving Noah was comfortable and safe; it was always calm. Loving Hardin is raw and exciting; it sparks my every nerve and I can’t get enough of him. I never want to be away from him. Even when he drove me crazy, I missed him and had to fight myself to stay away.

“I take that as a no,” he says and turns away from me, letting me have full access to the water. I feel cramped in the tiny space and the air is too thin, too clouded with steam from the hot water.

“It’s not the same.” How do I explain this to him without sounding insane? His shoulders slack. I know if he was to face me he would be frowning. My hands wrap around his waist and I press my lips against his back. “It’s not the same, but not how you’re thinking that means,” I say. “I love you in a different way. Noah was so comfortable to me he was almost like family. I felt like I was supposed to love him but I really didn’t, not in the way I love you at least. It wasn’t until I realized I loved you that I saw how different love was from what I thought it was. I don’t know if that even makes sense.” A pang of guilt hits me for saying I didn’t love Noah, but I think I knew that from the moment I kissed Hardin for the first time.

“It does.” When he turns back around, his eyes are much softer. The lust, then apprehension are gone, replaced by . . . love? Or relief . . . I can’t tell but he leans down and kisses my forehead. “I just want to be the only person you ever love; that way you are mine.”

How could he be such a jerk before and say these loving things to me now? Despite the hint of possessiveness in his tone, his words are sweet and surprisingly humble for him.

“In the ways that count, you are,” I promise him. He seems pleased with my answer as his smile returns.

“Now, can you move so I can get this dirt off me before the water goes cold?” I say and gently push him out of my way.

“I’ll do that for you.” He grabs the cloth and pours soap on it. I hold my breath the entire time he gently scrubs the dirt off my body, and shiver as he passes over the sensitive spots, his touch lingering on them.