Best of 2017

“I’m not a model, either.” He leaned over to kiss me. “But you’re beautiful, and I want you by my side. I’ll be with you every step of the way.” Axel grazed his lips across mine. Grabbing my face with his hand so I had no choice but to stare into his eyes, he added, “I want the whole world to know that you’re mine.”

“And if I say no?” I asked.

“I won’t force you. I’ll go inside and cancel.”

“You can’t just do it without me?”

Axel kissed me again, meeting my eyes. “No, because this was meant for me to do with you. But the choice is yours.”

I stiffened and nibbled on my bottom lip. “Okay, I’ll do it. But promise me that I won’t look like an idiot.”

“You’ll be perfect.”

My mind spun into overdrive. I had no idea how to pose for a picture. Did I smile, or look sexy, or try to pull off sultry? I tightened my jaw and stared out into nothing in front of me. My pulse beat so fast that I thought I might have a heart attack.

“What’s wrong?” Axel asked.

“Will people recognize me after this?”

“Most likely. Is that going to be a problem?”

“Well… uh… yeah, I kind of think it is.” I turned to stare at Axel. “I’m not sure I’m ready to be… well to be… openly dating...”

“A drug dealer?”

I shook my head. “It’s not like that. It’s just that you have a lot of notoriety and well…”

Axel looked crushed. “I guess I just thought that since you and I were…” Axel shook his head and reached to open the door. “Never mind, I’ll go cancel the shoot. It was stupid—”

“Wait,” I interrupted. “You’re right. We are.” I reached for Axel’s hand. “I’d be honored to be by your side. Let’s go do this.”

Axel tensed up.

“What’s wrong?”

He shook his head. “I’m not sure. I just get the feeling sometimes like you aren’t telling me everything. Like you’re holding back.”

I stared at him for a moment. The door had opened. This was the time to just blurt it all out. Confess everything and hope to God that we could move on. This was the time… but the shoot. We had work to do.

“Quinn? Are you keeping our relationship a secret from someone? I didn’t think about the fact that maybe you haven’t told everyone in your life about me when I scheduled the shoot. I guess I just assumed that everyone knew.”

My eyes narrowed, not understanding at first. “What?” I shook my head violently. “No, no! I’m not keeping you secret at all. I swear.”

Axel didn’t say anything.

“What’s the matter?” I couldn’t read the expression on his face.

“I just get the feeling sometimes that there’s more.”

The door was opened even wider. Now. Now.

I took a deep breath. A large enough breath to jump in the deep end. “Harrison,” I said. “Well, it’s not exactly what you think.” I hesitated, nerves racking my body.

I watched Axel’s expression change slightly. “I think I know what’s going on.”

“You do? I wondered if you did. I’m so sorry for keeping this from you.”

“Why didn’t you tell Harrison that we are together? Do you think he’d have a problem with that? Do you think he will think I’m a bad influence?”

The lump in my throat sunk to the depth of my stomach. I realized that Axel was completely off base. He had no idea the real truth about Harrison. I shook my head. “No, that’s not it. Harrison knows all about you and me. Well, I haven’t exactly gone into detail with him on how close we have become. But I’m pretty sure he can connect the dots.” I smiled. “You are after all, Axel Rye. You aren’t exactly known for your virginal ways.”

Axel looked confused. “Then what? What’s going on?”

Overwhelmed with guilt and fear, I sat motionless. Twisting my fingers together, I tried to drum up the courage to confess. I’d felt so many unfamiliar emotions since I’d met Axel, yet none compared to what I was feeling now. The fear of losing him made me realize just how important Axel was. If I were standing right now, the emotions would certainly bring me to my knees.

Axel kissed my temple softly. “Hey, whatever it is, can’t be that bad. You’re pale.”

I looked down at my hands, picking at the loose skin around my cuticle. Every ounce of my courage dissipated by the second. There was no way I could let Axel out of my life now. The thought suffocated me, gripping my beating heart. I sat in the car feeling dazed.

“Quinn, what’s going on? You’re scaring me.”

I attempted to give a reassuring smile. “It’s no big deal. Silly really.” I reached out and patted Axel’s leg. “Let’s go get this shoot over with, and then I’ll tell you all about it.”

CHAPTER TWELVE

FUCK, FUCK, FUCK

AXEL

WALKING through the door of the photo shoot, I could feel the buzz of the room. The intensity of the energy almost seemed to knock me over with its power. This was a part of the whole celebrity craze that I really enjoyed. It was fun to get all dressed up and pose in cool and interesting positions, though I wouldn’t be caught dead telling anyone that. That little bit of knowledge would kill my bad boy image in a heartbeat. The backdrops always blew me away, and I always loved the photographers—I enjoyed fucking with them which always livened the mood. I hoped that Quinn enjoyed it as well.

As usual, my heart raced at the sight of Quinn. I loved her natural beauty, but seeing her all glammed up was a surprising change. I bent down and kissed her in the makeup chair. It was supposed to be a reassuring hello kiss, but, unable to restrain myself, I kissed her passionately until the makeup artist cleared her throat.

Quinn pulled away immediately, playfully pushing me to the side. “You’re going to mess up my lipstick.”

“I can’t help it.” I smirked, pulling away with a sigh. “You’ve gone from the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen to the sexiest woman I’ve ever seen.”

“I hardly recognize myself.”

I laughed, lacing my fingers into hers. “It’s amazing what they can do, but with you they had it easy.”

The shoot went really smoothly. It was easier than most, and definitely more fun. Quinn was a natural. Every time I glanced at her, I would catch a smile or a twinkle of an eye. It appeared that Quinn enjoyed it just as much as I did.

“Are you getting tired? Do you want me to ask for a break?”

Quinn shook her head. “No. This is a lot of fun.”

I glanced at the clock on the wall. It had been several hours, and she didn’t seem fatigued at all. With her focusing this much, the shoot was bound to be completed any minute.

I decided to make the shoot a little more intimate and brought Quinn’s hand up to my lips and kissed it. I immediately forgot about the room full of people and the flashing cameras. I put my arms around her waist and pulled her close. “You’re a real natural. I think you may have found your calling.”

Quinn nodded in agreement. “I have. I’ve found my calling as your girlfriend. I’m enjoying this because I’m with you.”

There were a lot more people than I expected in the studio when we finally wrapped up. Apparently, they had scheduled another shoot directly after ours. I knew the magazine was doing a full spread on the whole gang, so I wasn’t surprised when I saw other people showing up.

I liked watching Quinn mingle with my friends. She seemed to blend in with the group effortlessly. They were becoming her friends, too. Selfishly, I hoped Quinn would create a whole new life here in LA and would decide to stay. The more friends she had, the better. This was a topic we hadn’t discussed, mainly because I was scared of what the outcome would be. The thought of Quinn leaving killed me. But I wouldn’t dwell on that right now and ruin a perfect day.

Teddy came up from behind, laughing, and put his arm around my shoulder. “So what the fuck? You replace us for some lovey-dovey shots?” he teased.

/> I shrugged. “What can I say? Do you blame me?”

Teddy playfully shoved him. “One word. Pussy whipped.”

Quinn came up to us and wrapped her arms around me. “That’s two words.”

Knox walked up to the laughing group. “Holy hell, Quinn! You look amazing.”

She blushed and snuggled closer to my side. “Thanks. It was fun, but I’m not sure if I’m cut out for all of this.”

Even though everyone seemed to be in great spirits, I was ready to call it a day. I wanted to have some alone time with Quinn. “Well, our job is done. We’re gonna get out of here.”

“What?” There was a note of disappointment in Knox’s tone. “Hang out for a while.”

“Let’s get some drinks and show Quinn how a real photo shoot should happen,” Teddy added. He pulled out a bag of pills and passed it to Quinn.

I intercepted and shook my head as I pushed it away. I didn’t want to be that boyfriend who controlled what she did, but her drug use—our drug use—was really starting to wear on me. I wanted us to slow down, if not stop all together. I still planned on having this talk with her, but was uncertain how to go about it. It was my fault she was doing drugs to begin with, so being the one to stop it seemed right, but at the same time it seemed damn hypocritical.

I pulled Quinn closer to me by the waist and she leaned her head against me. “It’s been a long day. Quinn’s tired.”