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The words felt like a blow to my face. I spun around. “Don’t ever say those words to me again. I trusted you! I don’t trust many, but I thought I could with you!”

Quinn tried to grab my hand, but I quickly pulled it away. “But I do!”

I didn’t want to ask, but I had to know. “Did you use me for fame or for money? Did you like all the glitz and glamor or were you just waiting for the big pay out with your book? Well, whatever. Bravo. Job well done.”

Quinn looked as if she had just been slapped. “Please don’t do this. Don’t be mean.”

Tears threatened to escape my eyes. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! It was all I could do to not lose it and punch my fist through a wall. I had to leave before we made any more of a scene. I was humiliated enough.

“Good bye, Quinn.” I nodded at my dumbfounded friends. “See you guys later.”

I stormed out of the room without looking back.

“Axel, please, don’t do this,” I could hear Quinn cry.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

DON’T FUCKING GIVE UP

QUINN

“HE’S GOT this all wrong! I swear I haven’t been faking my feelings just because of this stupid book.” The tears streamed down my cheeks, no doubt dripping make-up all over my face. The only thing I cared about right now was fixing things with Axel. I pulled my phone out of my purse and started dialing Axel’s number frantically.

“Give it a moment, Quinn,” Knox said as he walked up and grabbed the phone.

I looked at him and started to sob, desperately trying to catch my breath. “But I have to. I’ve never seen Axel so mad.”

Knox nodded. “I’ve never seen him like that, either. You broke his heart.”

“That was fucked up, Quinn,” Teddy said. “Axel really loved you.”

I took a deep breath attempting to regain composure. “I love Axel. This was a stupid lie that I let get out of hand. I swear to you I wasn’t using him. I’ve been nothing but honest about my feelings with him.” I reached for my phone. “I need to let Axel know that.”

“Were you ever planning on telling him? If it was no big deal, then why the hell keep the secret?” Teddy asked, disgusted.

Teddy walked away toward the photo set without waiting for an answer. I wanted to crumple in a ball and just cry. I had allowed this all to happen.

“If you want my advice, just leave Axel alone for a while.” The disappointment in Knox’s eyes stabbed at my heart. He turned without saying goodbye and walked toward Teddy.

I released another wave of tears, but quickly dried them up when I noticed Jillian staring with vindication all over her face. I wanted to walk over and knock it right off. That little bitch loved every second of this. The sad thing was that I looked a whole lot worse in people’s eyes than Jillian did.

I turned and made my way outside so I could call a cab for a ride home. I broke down again as soon as I felt the cool air hit my face. Anger replaced my sadness. I was so angry at myself for letting such a stupid and insignificant thing get so out of control. This was ridiculous! I had lost Axel over something so stupid, and it was all my fault. All I had to do was tell the truth a long time ago.

Knox was probably right, I decided. Now was not the time to try to explain with Axel so upset. I’d wait until the morning to call him. I had nothing left in me to give anyway. I felt broken.

But fuck it. I had to at least leave a text:

AXEL, please! You have to hear me out. I’m so sorry. Yes, I came to LA with the intent of using you. Yes, my plan was to write a book. But things changed. They changed. I love you so much. Please call me. Please.

QUINN

GLAD TO BE home and away from the judging eyes, I reached for the glass of wine on the edge of the table and drank. I picked up the bottle of chardonnay and filled the empty glass, sloshing a bit on the floor.

I stared at the darkness in front of me, allowing the tears to flow down my face. I took a healthy swig of the liquor, steeling myself for the truth.

It was my fault. I lost Axel.

I leaned back in my chair. “Fuck,” I muttered. I stared at my glass, berating myself for doing something so stupid.

Glancing at the clock, I noticed it was past midnight. Time for bed, if it was even possible to fall asleep. Cradling the half empty bottle of wine under my arm, I flipped off the kitchen light, picked up the empty glass, and stumbled upstairs to my bedroom.

Maybe one more text:

I LOVE YOU. I know you don’t feel that right now. But I do. I really, really do. Please forgive me.

I WAITED FOR A RESPONSE.

PLEASE ANSWER ME. Don’t ignore me.

I WAITED.

AXEL, please! You owe me at least a text. Tell me something. Tell me to fuck off. Anything!

I WAITED.

SO, is this over? Really over? If I don’t hear from you, I have no choice but to know it’s over.

NO RESPONSE.

AFTER CLIMBING BENEATH THE COVERS, I poured myself one last glass, hoping it would bring on the desired narcotic effect. The sun was already coming up, but I needed at least a little sleep if I was going to be able to face the day. Leaning back against the pillows, I took a sip of the cool liquid, letting it soothe my palate. I swallowed, welcoming the warmth spreading in my chest, craving the oblivion that would erase the pain of losing Axel.

Despair was the only thing left.

Sleep would not come. Who was I fooling?

I got out of bed and stumbled my way toward the kitchen. I needed to sober up and face reality. Trading booze for coffee was the only option.

The high-pitched, ear-shattering ring of my phone had me reaching for it frantically. I held my breath, hoping it was Axel returning the messages and texts I had been leaving. I reached over and looked at my phone. It was Harrison. I had left several frantic messages for him as well.

“Hello?” I stood at the kitchen sink, the cup of coffee in my hand, an ineffective antidote for my throbbing temples.

“What’s going on? I couldn’t make out anything in your message. All I heard was crying.” Panic blanketed Harrison’s voice.

Tears welled up in my eyes again. “I messed up, Harrison. I’ve lost Axel because I was a stupid fool.” The tears turned to loud, gasping sobs.

“Calm down, take a deep breath,” he soothed. “What happened?”

“I lied! I lied about this stupid book, and I kept it from him, and then it came to light in the worst way, and…” I blurted out the rest of the evening in a blabbering jumble of words, tears, sobs, and exhausted thoughts.

There was silence on the other end, then a sigh. “I’m sure once Axel calms down, you’ll be able to explain,” he said. “But it doesn’t look good. That’s for sure.”

I wiped at my eyes and blew my nose. I hoped he was right. The thought of being without Axel killed me.

“It’ll be okay. You need to calm down, get some rest, and give it a little time. I’m sure he will forgive you.”

“No, he won’t. He thinks I’ve been using him for this damn book! He thinks I did this all for fame!” My declaration, louder than I’d intended, caused an icicle of pain in my skull.

“Well, if you love him as much as I think you do, you’ll just have to try your hardest to convince him of that.”

I took a deep, consoling breath as I watched Felicity walk into the kitchen. Word of what happened had clearly made it to Felicity. I knew she had a lecture coming, or an “I told you so.” I quickly ended my conversation with Harrison, promising I would keep him updated.

I sat down and tried to give a weak smile. Faking my happiness to my good friend would be futile, but at least I would try.

Felicity frowned. “You look like shit. I take it the rumors I heard are true?”

“Can we not talk about it?” I sighed as I sipped on my much-needed cup of coffee. “I already know what you are going to say. Yes, I know. I fucked up.”

“Not an option,” Felicity declared as she grabbed a mug. “Why

didn’t you tell him?”

I shrugged. “It’s over. I don’t see the point in discussing this any further. It is what it is.”