Super Secret Santa

“True. After he shipped out the last time, I had found the courage to draft some court papers,” I confessed. “But I never got to actually serve them on him or anything. I wasn’t even sure I actually would. I was scared of who he had become. He was always snapping and belittling me, and he questioned everything I did. I decided that staying together for Mark’s sake wasn’t actually helping Mark at all, if he had to see so much ugliness. Then James died, and he wasn’t coming back. Suddenly I felt very guilty. I would have never wished this on Mark.”

"I'm sorry. I can't imagine you putting up with being treated like that. You always spoke your mind in school."

"I know. I'm trying to be that person again, for Mark.”

"By the way, thanks for the cookies and cocoa,” Neil said. “That's the best hot cocoa I've ever had. I guess I'm forgiven for whatever happened senior year.”

Here we go, I thought.

"How can you say that to me? You were the one who was being mean.”

"How do you figure, Becca?"

"Don’t try to deny what you were doing, Neil.”

I felt my temper flaring, despite my best intentions. He was looking at me with a dumbfounded expression on his face and I felt frustrated that he was still trying to make a fool out of me by not fessing up about this.

“Cindy told me your great plan. That you were going to ask me to Prom as a joke, and then not show up."

"And you believed her? Because you and Cindy were such good friends, right? You never thought about how I had just broken up with her and how maybe she had an agenda?"

Neil was looking at me now with an expression that was hard to read. He seemed sincere, and now I felt stupid.

"I'm really surprised you fell for Cindy's games. I always felt you were above that," Neil said.

Then he cupped my chin, and looking at me, added, "I wanted so badly to take you to Prom. To see if there was something there after almost two years of feeling nothing with Cindy. You were the only girl who I was even curious about, and I needed to know before I left town and never looked back.”

His hands dropped, along with my stomach. I couldn’t believe I had a real opportunity to go to Prom with him and I had ruined it—all thanks to Cindy.

“I'm not sure how she could have possibly known that I would ask you out, or even that I wanted to.” Neil stood up. “I can’t believe this whole thing was a Leviathan misunderstanding. But let’s forget about Cindy. What if we tried, Becca? I know Christmas is a bad time to talk about this, but maybe after the new year.”

I loved that he still wanted to try. Maybe we could have a second chance, after all.

“Mark is actually spending Christmas Day at his grandma’s house to have dinner with James’ family, which he does every Christmas, so I’m free tomorrow, if you wanted to stop over,” I offered, talking faster than I had intended.

Now that we were talking again, I didn’t want to waste a minute.

But suddenly I felt ridiculous.

“Or, you know, never mind, if it doesn’t work out. I’m sure you already have plans.”

I knew that practice and games must keep him busy.

“Actually, I don’t,” Neil said, with a charming smile spreading across his fact. “My mom left yesterday for warmer weather. She’s not a fan of New Jersey winters. I haven’t celebrated Christmas with her since my dad died.”

“I’m so sorry. I think I had heard that through the Caldwell grapevine. A few years ago, right?”

“Four, actually. He got to see me turn pro, and with the Leviathans, no less. He was so proud.”

“Listen. It’s up to you, but Mark is getting picked up at noon, if you feel like swinging by any time.”

I heard a slight cough and turned around to see that Mark was standing in the hallway, listening.

“Or you can come have Christmas breakfast with us, Neil,” he piped up, once he knew that I had seen him there.

Mark sure was fond of Neil already. I had never dated after James, and Mark was still so young when James died. Of course, he was old enough to remember him, but having a man around was definitely a forgotten experience.

“Tomorrow morning, then,” Neil agreed. “Is nine o’clock too early?”

“Nine is perfect,” I told Neil and then he stood to leave.

When he got to the door, he turned and bent down to kiss my forehead. Mark smiled at me, with the phone in his hand, as Neil left. Apparently, Mark had called David a few minutes before and Angela got on the phone when she heard Neil was over.

“She told me to make sure Neil didn’t leave without making plans with you again,” Mark explained. “Mrs. Bond called me your little wingman. What’s a wingman, Mom?”