Hold Her Close

Inside, I’m nearly bowled over by a pack of dogs. Seven wiggling, barking, bundles of joy that are just full of tails wagging and big, slobbery smiles. If anything is going to make me feel better after all that happened tonight, it is this.

“Wow,” I say, collapsing on one of the nearby couches as they follow me. “They’re amazing.”

“We have Severus, Pluto, Georgie, Mason, Luna, June, and Laini.”

“Which one is which?” I ask, as a smaller, white dog leaps into my lap, tail wagging. He immediately makes himself comfortable and settles down.

Jon puts down my bag and kicks off his shoes. “Well the one sitting on you is Georgie, but I’ll point out the rest of them when they’re calmer. Speaking of, I have to feed them. Dinner time, guys!”

All the dogs go running after him to what I presume is the kitchen, but Georgie stays on my lap. His tail is still going, but he leans his head into me like he knows that I need the comfort. I scratch him behind his ears. “You want to stay with me? That’s nice of you.”

Faster wags.

“Thank you for being so nice. I feel safe here,” I say. That same exhaustion that I felt before pulls at me, only this time, it’s stronger. It’s easy to close my eyes and relax into the warmth of a dog on my lap, the soft couch underneath me and the knowledge that I am safe. That Jon is keeping me safe.8JonI watch from the doorway as Sadie drifts off to sleep on my couch. Georgie doesn’t seem interested in moving from her side, and that’s okay with me. She needs the comfort and the safety.

Glancing behind me, I check on the dogs to make sure that they’re eating. And they are. I trained them out of stealing each other’s food a long time ago. When they first got here, they were so starved and desperate that they’d fight over any scrap of food. But now, they know there will always be enough food, and they only eat from their own bowls.

Sadie looks beautiful as always, curled around Georgie, already fast asleep. She looked exhausted when I first got to her house, and I can’t blame her. Death threats aren’t something that you get used to.

Frustration and anger rise in my chest. The fact that she went after Jack pisses me off. I warned her that he was dangerous. But I didn’t get specific. I should have. I should have gone into explicit detail about what he does to people who get in his way, and how other people always take the fall for his crimes.

But it is my fault, too. I dangled something in front of her that she desperately wanted. I should have known she couldn’t have resisted it. It was a mistake. But that doesn’t mean it is any less damaging.

When I saw the story on the news—because I watch just for her now—I had to run down to my gym and beat the hell out my bag for a couple of minutes. Not because I was angry at her. I was, but that wasn’t what drove me to beat the shit out of something. I was terrified for her.

I didn’t want anything to happen her. This week has felt like forever since I last saw her, but now I don’t want to let her out of my sight. It is good that she is here. Where I can keep her safe.

The alarm is set, the dogs are fed, and she can’t sleep on the couch all night. “Okay Georgie,” I say softly. “Let me put her to bed.”

He looks at me like if I try to hurt her, he’ll hurt me. I’ve never seen any of my dogs act like this about anyone. None of them had really looked at Kristy as part of our pack, and they practically knocked Sadie over as soon as she walked through the door. Their reactions really give me something to think about.

But right now, though, all I want to do is make her feel safe and comfortable. I give Georgie a couple of scratches behind his ears. “It’s okay, boy, I’ve got her.”

Satisfied, he gets down, and Sadie reaches for him in her sleep. I pick her up gently, trying not to disturb her, and the way she curls into me pulls at my gut. This woman…she does things to me. Things that I can’t fully explain.

This house is new enough that my guest room isn’t fully set up. There is a bed, but the mattress is still wrapped in plastic. Frankly, there isn’t really a reason for me to have a guest room. I don’t have many friends and I’ve never expected any visitors.

My bedroom is the one I’ve taken the time to make comfortable and amazing. That’s where I take Sadie. I can sleep on the couch.