Perfection (Neighbor from Hell 2)

"Can you imagine going five years without sex?" Zoe asked, breaking into his thoughts.

He thought it over for a moment. It had been a long time since he had sex, a year? Year and a half? That was pretty bad, but five years? He'd sooner starve to death than go without sex for that long.

Zoe took his grimace as agreement. "Exactly. Now," she said, straightening up in her seat and giving her br**sts a slight push up to put them on display that made his mouth go bone dry within seconds, "if you'll excuse me I'm about to rectify that little problem."

He sighed heavily as she stood up, wobbled, and took a step towards the crowd. She didn't make it far before he had his arm around her and was steering her towards the exit sign, resigning himself to put off his own plans for another night so he could play nursemaid to his drunk tenant hell bent on having sex.

"Trevor? Where the hell are you going?" he heard Hank yell over the loud crowd and music, but he just ignored the prick.

He still couldn't believe the man thought he'd be interested in any of those bar bunnies. When he realized his night was shot and he had to look forward to putting up with Hank acting like they were best friends and women who grossed him out hanging all over him he decided to leave and try another bar, but then he spotted her sitting all by herself, looking so damn pretty that he swore his heart actually skipped a beat.

Even across the room he'd been able to tell that she wasn't wearing any makeup, but he hadn't cared. When he realized that she was actually making him drool from across the room he realized that he really needed to haul his ass out of there, but then he spotted the ass**le sauntering up to her and he knew that he couldn't leave her to fend for herself.

He really was too damn giving, he thought as he stopped her from pulling away from his side and steered her back towards the door.

"Oh," Zoe said, stumbling by his side. "Are we going to find someone to have sex with me outside?"

Trevor gave her shoulder a patronizing squeeze. "We sure are."

She sighed contently. "Good. Just make sure he likes o**l s*x, because I really miss doing that for a man," she announced, making him stumble.

***********

This was going to be a long f**king night, Trevor decided five minutes later after he managed to somehow convince Zoe that if she wanted to have sex that she had to get into his truck.

"Hey, you lied!" Zoe gasped as they pulled out of the parking lot.

"Took you long enough," he mumbled, wondering when she'd be a good little girl and pass out and put him out of his misery. All this talk about Zoe ha**ng s*x and giving blow jobs was killing him.

"Now I don't feel bad," she said, crossing her arms stubbornly over chest as she did her best to glare at him.

"About what?" he asked absently, not really in the mood for any drunken rambling.

"About lying to you," she said, making his eyebrows arch.

"You lied to me?" he asked stunned, not because she lied to him, well he was, but that she had managed to do it without giving herself away. She was a horrible little liar after all.

"Mmmhmm," she mumbled, already starting to lose interest in him and the conversation as she turned her attention to playing with his radio. He placed his hand over hers and stopped the already annoying channel surfing.

"What did you lie about?" he asked, wondering if she would actually admit to something or if this was just alcohol induced bullshit.

"The book series we're reading. It doesn't have any sex in them until the last book and even then it's only really hinted at," she said, surprising the hell out of him.

"You bitch!" he hissed, but couldn't help but laugh.

"Yeah, I know. It was really fun to screw with your head," she admitted in an offhand tone. "I also lied last week when I said that orange shirt looked good on you when it really looked stupid. Then last month I lied when I said the bakery was already closed when I just really didn't feel like going and I took a long hot bath instead."

"I see....," he murmured, lost in thought. He'd heard of angry drunks, happy drunks, sad drunks, but this was the first time he'd ever encountered an honest drunk. It made him wonder........

"Has it really been five years since you last had sex?" he asked, deciding to test the waters.

She sighed heavily. "Yes, at least five years."

"Were you really going to have sex with a complete stranger?" he asked, not really believing Zoe would do something like that.

"In a heartbeat," she said without any hesitation, further surprising the hell out of him and pissing him right the hell off.

"Are you out of your f**king mind?" he practically bellowed, not even making her flinch in her alcohol induced mellow state. "Do you have any idea how dangerous that is, Zoe? What could have happened to you?"

She frowned at him as she opened her small black purse and pulled out a handful of condoms. "But that's why I brought these," she explained, looking confused. "For protection," she clarified when he only glared at her.

He gripped the steering wheel tightly, trying to fight back the urge to ring her neck or spank her ass. "Zoe, you cannot go around sleeping with strangers. It's dangerous," he said through a clenched jaw, wondering if she'd remember any of this later or if he'd have to have this talk again with her tomorrow when she was sober.

"Weren't you there to have sex with a stranger," she said accusingly.

"That's not the point, Zoe," he gritted out.

"How is it fair that you can go have sex, but I can't?" she demanded, crossing her arms beneath her ample br**sts and unintentionally shoving them up until he swore, prayed, that they'd pop out of her blouse.

"It's just the way it is," he said tightly, pressing the gas pedal harder in an attempt to get her home and out of his hair before she drove him crazy.

"I don't see how it is. I want sex. I miss sex and used to love it. I've decided that I shouldn't have to worry until I'm ready to have a relationship, which probably won't be for another year or two before I have sex again. So, I decided that I should be allowed to enjoy being single and have sex with whomever I want, whenever I want," she informed him in a tone she probably thought would make him think twice about arguing with her. "Now," she said with a slight roll of her hand back towards the direction of the bar, "take me back there so I can have sex."

"Not happening."

"But I want sex!" she whined. "Really good, hot, sweaty sex!"