Poison

“Yeah, I did.”

He took a breath. “I’ve been arguing with Maya all week. She’s keeping her away from me because of a bullshit demand I couldn’t live up to. It’s her way of punishing me.”

I didn’t know quite what to say, so I didn’t say anything, just held him tighter. It worked. He kept on talking.

“I was supposed to have her tomorrow. We were going to see the sharks over in Chester. But she said it’s a no go. She always does. It’s the same crap whenever I don’t give her what she wants.”

“What demand couldn’t you live up to?”

I felt the tension in him as he found the words.

“I can hardly live up to any demand she bitches out to me. As soon as I’ve tried to deliver one she raises the bar and kicks me down another. She wanted me to get Millie from school on Wednesday, but I had meetings all afternoon.”

“Surely that must be alright with her? If you have work?”

He laughed a bitter little laugh. “Nothing is ever alright for her. Nothing is ever good enough for her to consider me good enough for Millie. Everything I do is a failure. Judged. Commented on. Scoffed at. It’s like my whole life is under a running commentary. Don’t do this, and must do that, and don’t even think of thinking that, you piece of useless shit.”

I tensed up alongside him, feeling his pain.

“So she’s kept her away from you?”

He nodded. “Because this time I told her no.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Not as sorry as I am. I should be the one apologising,” he whispered, and I knew where the conversation was turning all over again.

But no.

No.

“Don’t…” I said, and he held me tighter. “I mean it,” I said again. “I can’t listen to the past. I don’t want to listen to the past. It won’t get us anywhere.”

He breathed out. “And what about the future? Can you listen to that? Is there ever going to be one?”

But no.

I couldn’t go there either.

I reached my hand up to his face, ran my thumb across his lips, and he was serious and sad, and I knew his expression by heart without even seeing it.

“Maybe the future has no place, either,” I whispered. “Maybe all we’ve got is the present. Maybe that’s all either of us can work on right now.”

He sighed and pressed those sad lips to mine and held them there for long seconds.

“Then let’s make the most of the right now,” he said.Chapter SixteenLucasWaking up next to her with the morning sunlight streaming through the window was a stunning start to a Saturday. I soaked in the sight.

The bedsheets were crumpled around her waist, her hair fanning out on the pillow. She was still sleeping, peaceful with butterfly snores.

I settled back down, easing up close to her side and I admired the view.

I don’t know how long I was watching her, but when she woke it was with a stretch and a yawn, starting just a little as she registered me beside her. Once again, she tensed and plunged a hand down below, but she relaxed in a beat.

“Morning,” I said, smiling wide as she smiled at me.

“Morning, stud.”

She didn’t come to her senses and jump out of bed and demand to be taken home. She didn’t scowl and reinforce that this was a no way situation she owed it to herself to escape from. There was nothing but sweet quiet as we lay easy and breathed together.

And then she broke the silence in the best possible way.

“My ass is really sore from the pounding you gave me.” Her laugh was a dirty giggle and I loved it.

“My dick is really hard for another round,” I told her, and laughed right back.

She sighed. “I need meds, and juice, and the bathroom before your dick gets another go.”

“Make yourself at home,” I told her, and meant it. I wanted her to be at home here. I wanted this place to be warmer to her than any other place she belonged in.

It had been cold enough for a lifetime these past few months.

She nipped my nose before she got out of bed, and I pinched hers back before she escaped me. It took every scrap of restraint to let her escape me at all.

I was down in the kitchen before she was, standing in the open back doorway watching Bill and Ted peeing in the flowerbeds when she headed on in wrapped up in my robe.

“Where are the mugs?” she asked, and I gestured to the cupboard by the fridge.

She took down two and put the kettle on to boil, and I noticed how she made my favourite tea from memory.

I was still butt naked when I joined her for my mug. Her eyes scoped me out, that smirk of hers blooming as she clinked her mug to mine.