Maharaja's Mistress

She loved the sparring between them even as she felt all the shadows hovering over them. And almost at once, as if her thoughts had transferred to him, the air between them changed, and was charged with all the things they hadn’t said. Wheeling away, she went to care for the horses. She needed time to think—time to work out how to handle her feelings for a man in a relationship that was going nowhere.

Undoing the girth, she lifted the saddle and then removed the bridle and carefully set them aside. Ram did the same for his horse and then they stood side by side as they watched them gallop towards the nearest grazing. He reached for her, but this time she stopped him. ‘You asked me what was on my mind earlier—I’m afraid you can’t make it right with a hug.’

‘Then tell me why you’re upset,’ Ram insisted.

‘When were you going to tell me about your arranged marriage?’

He seemed stunned for a moment, and then he said, ‘Who told you?’

‘Does it matter? I found out.’ She felt so shut out again—so hurt. ‘I don’t understand why you couldn’t tell me. You trusted me enough to sleep with me—to bring me here as if we could just pick up where we left off. But we can’t do that, can we, Ram? Because there will always be part of you that stays with her…’

She was sure Ram could have no idea how menacing his physical presence could be when he was angry, but she had no intention of backing down now.

Chapter Fifteen

MIA was facing Ram over a dusty courtyard in the middle of nowhere with a body that shimmered with the knowledge of his anger and a heart that was breaking apart. She had brought him to the same crossroads she was facing. She didn’t want to be his convenient mistress, and yet she had always known he couldn’t offer her anything long-term. He might turn his back on her now and walk away. He didn’t answer to her—he didn’t have to tell her anything. He could ride out of her life and she’d never see him again—

‘Did Tom tell you?’

‘No,’ she said with feeling. ‘My brother would never betray a confidence.’

‘Who, then?’ Ram demanded, bringing his face close enough to frighten most people out of their wits.

‘A young girl,’ she said, sticking her chin out, refusing to take a step back. ‘You don’t need to know any more than that—’

‘Oh, don’t I?’

‘It wasn’t her fault, Ram. No doubt everyone was talking about it—especially when I turned up out of the blue.’

Brushing past her, he walked towards the well to draw some water for the horses.

‘What did you think I’d do?’ Mia demanded, following hot on his heels. ‘Did you think I’d laugh at you? Did you think I’d be shocked to learn that you of all people would accept an arranged marriage?’

Ram was lowering the bucket into the well and kept his back turned to her. ‘It was a long time ago, Mia.’

‘Not that long ago,’ she argued. ‘You must have known all along—that’s how these things work, isn’t it? That’s what you came back for—and somehow I never heard about it so your intended bride must have died while I was in hospital. But if you feel it’s in the past isn’t that all the more reason not to mind talking about it?’

‘Why would I want to?’ he said. Having collected the water, he unhooked the bucket and looked as though he was going to walk away and see to the horses without giving her another glance. But she wasn’t so easily put off. ‘You’re not over this any more than I’m over what happened to me—and we never will be if we can’t talk about it.’

‘Spare me the amateur psychology,’ he said, walking on.

As she watched him coolly pour the water into an old horse trough a volcano erupted inside her. ‘So what were you thinking when you slept with me, Ram—when we had sex? Were you thinking about her?’

He moved so fast she lurched back and almost overbalanced. ‘Don’t,’ he warned with an angry gesture. ‘Just leave it, Mia.’

But by this time she was shaking with passion. ‘Oh, I see,’ she spat back. ‘Your intended bride was too pure to speak of in the same breath as me. I’m more your—’

‘I warned you—’ he said, taking hold of her.

‘Let go of me,’ she raged back.

Lifting his hands, Ram turned his back on her with a snarl of anger.

‘I thought you trusted me, Ram. I thought we were friends, but you used me.’

‘No more than you used me,’ he said, turning to confront her. ‘There are just some things I never talk about—to anyone, Mia. And that includes you.’

‘But not Tom,’ she said, thoroughly fired up by now. ‘And I don’t imagine your arranged bride was shut out either—’

‘Leila—’ Ram interjected. ‘Her name was Leila.’

The tone of his voice was a spear in her heart. She had never heard Ram speak with such reverence, or such regret. But she had to punish herself some more…for doubting him; for hating a poor dead girl. ‘So who was she, this Leila?’

‘She wasn’t you,’ Ram said flatly.

His face was totally shut off to her, and she had to wonder how many spears one heart could survive. She had lost this battle. She couldn’t fight a dead girl who still held a place in Ram’s heart. But she did want to hear about her—she had to hear about her or she would never rest. ‘Go on,’ she said.

‘Leila was part of my early life—we grew up as children together in the same royal nursery, cared for by staff.’

‘So you formed a unit?’ Mia guessed.

‘A tight unit,’ Ram confirmed.

‘So Leila was very special to you?’

‘She still is.’

She watched as Ram returned to the well for more water, wondering what her place was in all this. ‘And that’s it?’ she said.

‘What more do you want to know?’

Snatching the bucket from his hand, she tossed it to the ground. ‘I’d like to know where I figure in all this, Ram—or don’t I?’

‘I knew you’d overreact if I told you.’

‘So you weren’t going to tell me?’ Mia demanded incredulously. ‘Let me tell you what I think, Ram. I can’t believe you, of all people, would agree to an arranged marriage unless you wanted it.’

‘I’ve already explained that I was younger and keen to conform.’

‘So, what am I to you, Ram—part of your rebellion? Or am I just any woman in your bed?’

He grabbed hold of her. ‘You’re none of those things—you’re special to me in a very diffe

rent way.’

‘Should I be pleased about that?’ She could feel his power and the heat of his body only a whisper away from her, but this time she clung to her pride. ‘I guess I’m everything Leila wasn’t,’ she exploded in a frenzy of failing confidence. ‘Difficult, demanding, and ugly to boot—’

‘No!’ Ram raged. ‘Don’t you ever say that. You have to understand, I was a different person then, and if Leila and I had married it would have been a disaster. She was like a sister to me, Mia. It would have been…’ he grimaced ‘…wrong.’

The thought that Ram might not have wanted to marry Leila was a bombshell she hadn’t expected. She remained silent as he pulled his shirt over his head, unhooked the bucket from the rope and poured the icy water slowly over his gleaming torso, groaning with pleasure as he shook his hair out of his eyes.

‘And that’s it?’ she pressed.

Hooking the bucket up, Ram lowered it again. ‘That’s it. A good friend died. But marriage?’ He shook his head. ‘Back then I still thought I had to go along with tradition.’

‘And now?’

‘Now I make my own rules.’ He let her digest that for a few moments, and then asked if she was reassured.

More than she had expected to be. ‘I’m sorry,’ she admitted in a subdued voice. ‘It seems I might have jumped to conclusions and been a little hasty this time.’

‘This time?’ Ram murmured beneath his breath. ‘Would you like to freshen up?’

She should have seen it coming. She should have seen a lot of things coming, Mia realised, shrieking at the extremes of temperature as Ram tossed a bucket of freezing water over her overheated body. ‘I hate you!’ she shouted as Ram threw back his head and roared with laughter.