Personal Demon (Otherworld 8)

"For God's sake, Jaz. Stop being such a fucking drama queen. I--"

"Take the gun. Fire it. Because if you're going to make me choose, you might as well put a bullet in my brain right now."

"Goddamn it! You're crazy, you know that? As screwed up as--"

Silence.

"As Mom?"

"I didn't mean that, Jaz. You know I didn't."

"At least I come by it honestly."

"I didn't mean--"

"It's okay, bro. Maybe I am a little fucked up. Maybe a lot fucked up. But you know what's really nuts, Sonny? I know that, and it doesn't make any difference. I look at Hope back there and I think 'Goddamn it, man, what are you doing?' But it doesn't change anything because I feel it's right. It's what I'm meant to do. Just like all this." Pause. "Have I ever steered you wrong?"

"No, Jaz."

"As crazy as my ideas are, have they ever been something we can't manage?"

"No."

"Then trust me."

"I do."

"I know you're tired of this, bro. I know you want it over with. Me and my mad dreams. But we're almost there. Remember when we were little, and Mom would say we had to move again, and you'd cry and cry. What did I promise you?"

"That someday we'd stop running."

"And when you were older, she'd say we had to move and you'd try to reason with her, and you'd get so mad because she never listened. What did I promise you?"

"That you'd stop it."

"The only way to stop the Cabal--really stop them--is to become them. We're close, Sonny. So close. Just a couple more months, then, when everything's in place, you can go back to being you. Free."

"And what about you?"

"I'll be fine. I'll get used to being Lucas and I'll have Hope."

"What if she doesn't...come around?"

"She will. This is a lot for her to absorb. You can't blame her for being freaked out. But she loves me. I know that. She'll come around."

"Not like she has much choice now."

Silence.

"That wasn't how I wanted it."

"I know, Jaz. But now she'll have to see what it's like from our side."

When all went quiet, my thoughts folded back into themselves, and I was lost again.

I GROANED AND clutched my stomach. Jaz caught me by the shoulders, steadying me as I sat on the seat edge. Another seat, another car. Sonny had dropped us off in a parking garage, where a second vehicle waited, then he'd left to ditch the first a couple of blocks away.

"Just crawl in and lie down," Jaz said.