Atoning (Darkness Rising 3.1)

He growled.

"Or I can throw a stick. As long as you promise to bring it back."

Another growl.

"What's that? I think you're saying that you're tired of playing with me, and you just want to take off on your own and chase squirrels. Speaking of which...squirrel!"

I pointed at one, and he actually took off. I stood there, straining to see what was behind the squirrel, clearly some serious threat because Derek would never run after an actual...

The squirrel saw a giant wolf bearing down, and it ran, and Derek went after it, leaving me staring after him.

"Okay," I murmured. "That's new."

I turned to find a place to sit. There was a fallen log nearby. I was lowering myself onto it when I heard a dry leaf crunch and turned just in time to see a blur of black fur. I tried to scramble out of the way, but I was too slow. He sent me toppling and pinned me on the ground as he loomed over me with his canine equivalent of a grin and a gotcha.

"I really shouldn't have fallen for that," I said with a sigh.

His chuff agreed. He bent down, nuzzling my neck, nose buried in my hair as I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him. It's taken time to get to the point where he's this comfortable with me in wolf form. I've been there since his first Change and most since then. It's our thing. Also, it makes a good excuse for being together, away from everyone else. Hey Dad, time for Derek to Change, so we'll be in the forest for a couple of hours and everyone else better stay away, just to be safe. Of course, it doesn't take him two hours to Change and run. The rest of the time is for other forms of recreation, ones that are best enjoyed in total and uninterrupted privacy.

I hugged Derek, running my fingers through his fur. Then, I slid from under him and stood.

"All right," I said. "One last chase. The quicker you catch me, the quicker you can Change back, and then we'll take a nap, because I know you'll be

exhausted and want to sleep."

He snorted and gave me a look that said, Hell, no.

I grinned. "Well, then, you'd better catch me fast, before you really are too tired for anything but a nap."

I took a look around, staking out the best route. The clearest path wasn't always best--I can outrun Derek a lot faster in thick brush than on open ground. I picked my course, then I took off. No thunder of running paws followed. That was the "fetch" part of this game. He didn't chase me until I gave the signal. I counted steps. Once I got to a hundred, I whistled. That's when I heard the pounding of paws. And that's when I started running for real.

Two

Derek was Changing back. That took about ten minutes, and it didn't seem to get shorter as he grew more accustomed to the process. It was a body changing forms; I guess it couldn't be rushed. It couldn't be painless either, unfortunately. At least the projectile vomiting had stopped. That had been unpleasant. Not that I'd ever said so to him.

I stay with Derek during his Changes. When it gets tough, I rub his shoulders or just talk to him. I don't know if that helps, but he hates to Change without me, so it must at least be some comfort.

He'd finished his Change and was resting, both of us lying on the ground, as he curled up behind me, his arms wrapped around me, heart racing against my back. I'd brought a blanket--two, in fact, one for under us and one for over, to ward off the October chill. Back home, in Buffalo, fall would just be setting in around now. But we didn't live in Buffalo anymore. Didn't live in the United States anymore. We were three hundred miles almost due north in the middle of the Canadian wilderness.

Badger Lake is a private community run by a Cabal. Yes, a Cabal, like the one we'd escaped when I met Derek, and then had spent six months running from. And no, we weren't captives. We were here voluntarily. At least as "voluntarily" as we could be under the circumstances. It was the safest place for us until we were old enough to make serious choices for our futures.

I lay there, listening to Derek's breathing, waiting for it to slow, and, when it did, his hands went to my waist, slipping under my shirt, fingers hot against my bare skin. He nuzzled my neck, which was nice in wolf form but a whole lot nicer in human, as he kissed and nibbled, his hands tight around my waist. I still waited, giving him a few minutes to fully recover. He needs time to get his energy back. Which is one reason we cuddle like this, with my back to him--it's a whole lot easier not to rush when I can't see him and think maybe just a quick... Nope. Better to wait.

He turned me around, one hand under my waist, the other in my hair, bringing me over to him, lips going to his. I remember when we first got together, those sweet and tentative kisses. It wasn't like that anymore. It could be, when we kissed behind the school or our houses, stealing a few moments of privacy when we couldn't hope for more. But when we got this private time in the forest, the kisses were a whole lot different.

In the beginning, as soon as he'd Change back, I'd turn away and wait for him to get dressed. He didn't get dressed anymore--not beyond pulling on his boxers. It had started with an unseasonably hot spell in late spring, when he'd been done Changing and was already overheated, and it seemed perfectly reasonable to postpone the redressing until he caught his breath. Then, he'd catch his breath, and the interruption of getting dressed was just too much. By the end of summer we'd given up any pretense of excuses. If I wasn't in a rush for him to put his clothes back on, he wasn't in a rush to get them on. And I really wasn't in a rush.

That doesn't mean we're in a rush to have sex, though. We'll get there. For now, there are other things we can do as we head in that direction. Lots of other things that keep us plenty entertained on the journey.

We kissed for a while, slow side-by-side kisses and embraces that quickly heated up, turning into deep, hungry, no-holds-barred kissing with Derek on top of me, my legs wrapped around him, his hands under my shirt, unclasping my bra and--

A whistle cut through the forest. Derek's head whipped toward it, his lip curling in a very canine snarl. I chuckled and reached up, my hands in his hair.

"Don't worry," I said. "This is our spot. They'll steer clear."

He continued to scowl in the direction of the whistle. I kissed his chin, my lips moving down his neck as I wriggled under him. He turned from the intruders, kissing me again, fingers undoing my bra. I laid my hand over his.

"Wait," I said. "Let's just make sure they go past."