Prince of Secrets (By His Royal Decree 2)

“It’s not a business deal.” Chanel ground out the words, refusing to be hurt by her stepfather’s observation.

Because it was true. She couldn’t imagine anyone better than Demyan ever coming into her life, but that wasn’t what was holding her back, was it?

“No, it’s not,” Andrew chimed in, giving his dad a fierce scowl. “Leave her alone about it. Demyan would be damn lucky to have Chanel for a wife and he’s obviously smart enough to realize it.”

Their mom tut-tutted about swearing, but Andrew ignored her and Chanel just gave her little brother a grateful smile. He and Laura had never taken after their parents’ dim view of Chanel. Their extended family, other friends and colleagues of the Saltzmans might, but not her siblings.

For that, Chanel had always been extremely thankful. Because she loved Andrew and Laura to bits.

Instead of looking annoyed by Andrew taking Chanel’s part, Demyan gave him an approving glance before turning a truly chilling one on Perry. “Neither of us is likely to do better, hence my proposal.”

“Well, of course,” Perry blustered, but no question—he realized he’d erred with his words.

Chanel wanted to agree to marry Demyan right then, but she couldn’t. There was too much at stake.

*

Chanel was sitting down to watch an old-movie marathon on A&E when her doorbell rang the next evening.

She’d turned down Demyan’s offer of dinner and a night in at the penthouse, telling him she wanted some time alone to think.

He hadn’t been happy, insisting she could think as easily in his company as out of it. Knowing that for the fallacy it was, she’d refused to budge. No matter how many different arguments he brought to bear.

Chanel had taken the fact she’d gotten her way as proof she could withstand even the more forceful side of his personality. And that he respected her enough to accede to her wishes when he knew she was serious about them.

If he was the one ringing the bell, both suppositions would be faulty and that might be the answer she needed.

As painful as it might be to utter.

It wasn’t Demyan through the peephole, though. It was Chanel’s mom.

Stunned, Chanel opened the door. “Mother. What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to talk to you. May I come in?”

Chanel stepped back and watched with some bemusement as her mother entered her apartment for the first time since she’d moved in years ago.

Beatrice sat down on the sofa, carefully adjusting the skirt of her Vera Wang suit as she did so. “Close the door, Chanel. The temperature has dropped outside.”

“Would you like something to drink?” Chanel asked as she obeyed her mother’s directive and then hovered by the door, unsure what to do with herself.

“No, thank you.” With a slight wave of her hand toward the other end of the sofa she indicated Chanel should sit down. “I… You seemed uncertain about your relationship with Demyan last night. I thought you might want to talk about it.”

“To you?” Chanel asked with disbelief as she settled into her seat.

Her mother grimaced, but nodded. “Yes. I may not have been the best one these past years, but I am your mom.”

“And he’s rich.” His penthouse showed that even to someone as oblivious as Chanel could be. Beatrice would have noticed and probably done a fair guesstimate of Demyan’s yearly income off it.

“That’s not why I’m here.”

“He has corporate connections Perry and Andrew might find useful, too. I suppose that might carry even more weight with you.” After all, scientists could be rich, but Beatrice had never made any bones about not wanting another one in the family.

Her mom sighed. “I am not here on behalf of your brother or my husband, either.”

“You’re here for my sake,” Chanel supplied with full-on sarcasm.

But her mother nodded, her expression oddly vulnerable and sincere. “Yes, I am. The way you two are together. It’s special, Chanel, and I don’t want you to miss that.”

“We’ve only been dating a month,” Chanel said, shocking herself and voicing her biggest concern.

Beatrice nodded, as if she understood completely. “That’s the way it was for me and your dad. We knew the first time we met that we would be together for the rest of our lives.”

“You stopped loving him.” What would Chanel do if Demyan stopped wanting her?

Her mother’s eyes blazed with more emotion than Chanel could ever remember seeing in them. “I never did.”

“But you said…” Pain lanced through Chanel as her voice trailed off.

There were too many examples to pick only one.

“He was it for me.”

“You married Perry.”

“I needed someone after Jacob died.”

“You had me. You promised we would always be a team.” That broken promise had hurt worst of all.

“It was too hard. You were too much like him. I tried to make you different, but you refused to change.” Her mother sighed, looking almost defeated. “You are so stubborn. Just like him.”

For the first time, Chanel heard the pain in those words her mother had never expressed.

Some truths were just as hurtful to her. “Perry hates me.”

“He’s a very jealous man.”

“He wasn’t jealous of me. You weren’t affectionate enough to me to make him jealous.”

Sadness filled Beatrice’s eyes. “No, I haven’t been. He was jealous of Jacob.”

“Because you never stopped loving him.” Despite all evidence to the contrary.

“How do you stop loving the other half of your soul?”

Finally Chanel understood a part of her childhood she’d always been mystified by. She’d tried with Perry at first. Really tried. “Perry blamed me. He took his jealousy out on me.”

“Your father wasn’t around to punish.”

“You let him.”

Beatrice looked away and shrugged. As if it didn’t matter. As if all that pain was okay to visit on a child.

“You let him,” Chanel said again. “You knew and you let him hate me in effigy of my father.”

Her mom’s head snapped back around, her expression dismissive. “He doesn’t hate you. He wanted you to be the best and all you wanted was your books and science.”

“It’s what I love. Didn’t that ever matter to you?”

“Of course it mattered!” Beatrice jumped up, showing an unfamiliar agitation. “Science stole your father from me. Do you for one second believe I wanted it to take you, too?”

“So, you pushed me away instead.”

“That wasn’t my intention.”

“I don’t fit with the Saltzmans.”

Beatrice didn’t deny it, but she didn’t agree either. Should Chanel be thankful for small mercies?

“I did fit with the Tanners.”

“Too well, but they’re all gone, Chanel. Can’t you see that?”

“And you think I’ll die young like Dad did because of my love for science?”

“You’re too much a Tanner. You take risks.”

“I don’t!” She’d been impacted by the way her father and grandfather had died, too. “I’m very careful.”

“If you are, then I’ve succeeded a little, anyway.”

“You succeeded, all right. You succeeded in picking away at our relationship until there wasn’t one anymore.” Chanel nearly choked on the words, but she wouldn’t hold them back anymore. “You couldn’t handle how much having me around reminded you of Dad, so you pushed me away with both hands.”

“And now you can barely bring yourself to see me even once a month.”

“Visits with you are too demoralizing.”

“Your sister and brother see you more often.”

Even Andrew. He was away at university, but Chanel went to visit her brother at least once a term. She always made sure she got time with him when he was home. While she’d done her best to nurtur

e her relationships with her siblings, Chanel had avoided her mother with the skill of a trained stunt driver.

“You have your sister date with Laura every week, but somehow you manage to avoid seeing me or Perry.”

“Can you blame me?” Chanel demanded and then shook her head. “It doesn’t matter if you do, or don’t. I know whose fault it is we don’t have a relationship and it’s not mine.”

Finally, she truly understood that. It wasn’t that Chanel wasn’t lovable. Unless she’d been willing to become a completely different person, with none of her father’s passions, mannerisms or even affections, Chanel had been destined to be the brunt of both her mother’s grief and Perry’s jealousy.

There was no way she could be smart enough, well behaved enough or even pretty enough to earn their approval.

Not with hair the same color as her dad’s and eyes so like his, too. Not with a jaw every Tanner seemed to be born with and her bone-deep desire to grow up and be a scientist.