Raze (Scarred Souls 1)

This was Luka. This had to be Luka. Of this I was becoming more and more convinced. It no longer felt like an obsessive fancy, some stupid teenage, love-struck hope that this damaged and raw man was created just for me. I believed more and more that this was real, veritable, tangible, a soul-colliding connection from God.

This man, this tortured and scary hulk of a man seemed to be my match. Mama seemed to have been right all along; even lost, it looked like we had found our way back to one another. But if this was my Luka, he was broken. Had no memory. I dared not push too fast, too far, for fear of scaring him away.

Taking his hand still resting near my eye, I pulled down the palm and laid a kiss to its center. “We match,” I whispered back. Raze’s lips stretched into a smile. That smile, the brief flicker of happiness on his face was my undoing.

My God, he was beautiful.

Shifting Raze’s hand down to my breast, his expression morphed from happiness to lust. His fingers squeezed my flesh and I closed my eyes and moaned.

“I like touching you,” Raze murmured.

Then I placed my hand on Raze’s shoulder and pushed him onto this back. He let me control the situation, and I knew it was because of his inexperience. It made the moment that bit more special to me. He trusted me enough to let me lead the way. I straddled his hips and immediately I felt his cock harden and push against my ass.

Our gazes locked and electricity arced between us. Raze’s hips began lifting, searching for my entrance. Leaning forward, I placed my hands on his chest and slowly impaled myself on his length. Not once did I tear my eyes away from his face; I drank in every wave of pleasure as it rushed across.

As I moaned and took him fully inside, I started to gently move up and down. Raze closed his eyes, his hands holding my hips.

“Open your eyes,” I whispered, but Raze shook his head, his forehead wrinkling in concentration.

My eyebrows furrowed in confusion, a twinge of insecurity rippling through me, until Raze gasped and said, “I’m closing my eyes so I can feel being inside you.” He placed his hand over his heart and rasped out, “I’ve seen too many bad things with these eyes. This, I will feel in my heart.”

Water fell from my eyes at his beautiful but heartbreaking words, and resting my breasts on his chest, I placed soft kisses on his neck as I worked my hips faster. More rumbling growls of pleasure sounded from his throat.

Raze’s hand slipped around my waist to my back, and my breath came faster as I felt myself building to orgasm, his satisfied grunts telling me he was nearly there too. Licking and nipping at his throat, I journeyed my lips to his mouth, and Raze immediately met me kiss for kiss, our tongues wet, hot and dueling, as shivers ran up and down my spine. I came so quickly and so powerfully that I pulled my mouth from Raze’s and cried out in pleasure.

Raze’s long groan soon joined mine and I felt his warmth flood my womb, his hands holding down my hips to extract every moment of pleasure.

Fighting to catch my breath, I lay contentedly in Raze’s arms.

“Kisa…” he whispered, rolling my name on his tongue, and I froze, praying he would say something else. I know you. I remember you. You’re the girl I was designed to love, my God-given match, my solnyshko. But he didn’t. Instead, he inhaled a deep breath and said, “Why do I feel like I’ve known you all my life?”

And at that moment I knew…

My beating heart exploded like a supernova of light. I savored this moment and a smile tugged on my mouth. He might not remember specifics, but deep down in his tragically damaged mind, in the mind blocking out his past to protect him from the present, my Luka… my Raze… He knew me. He felt that connection that always kept us close.

“Kisa-Anna,” he murmured as he raked his fingers hypnotically through my hair.

I sucked in a sharp breath, and Raze clearly felt it, felt my shocked reaction. His hands stopped dead.

Lifting my head, I stared at him through blurred eyes and asked, “Why did you call me Kisa-Anna?”

Raze opened his mouth to speak but slowly closed it again. “I don’t…” His eyes squinted closed and he ran his hand over his head as though he was hit with a migraine.

“Raze?” I asked.

He blinked, then blinked again. “I don’t know why I called you that… but I think… I think that’s your name. It feels right.”

Nodding through my tears, I said, “Yes. It does feel right.”

I laid my head on Raze’s chest and closed my eyes, relishing his touch while I could. But I knew I had to go, and after I didn’t know how long spent in his arms, I reluctantly tore myself from his body, looking down to see his face… a face that appeared… hurt?

“I can’t have you, can I?” he asked, devastation in his voice.

“I… I… It’s complicated,” I stammered and began scooping up my ruined clothes, trying to dress as best I could with the tattered bits of material, praying that my long summer jacket would cover me.

“It’s because of Durov, isn’t it?” he pushed, the feral, untamed side reasserting itself.

“He’s a dangerous man, Raze.”

Raze got to his feet and gripped my wrist, preventing me from pulling up my pants. “So am I.”

“I know, Raze. I know. But you don’t understand. We’re engaged. There’s expectations,” I explained, but I continued to dress. Mixed emotions and thoughts clouded my mind. Questions welled up. Could I explain all I knew to Raze? Did I dare tell him about his connection to the Bratva? How could I make him remember what happened to my brother, if he did kill him? And how could I ever get out from under Alik’s controlling hand?