Raze (Scarred Souls 1)

After my cut was stitched, Viktor forced me to shower and took me back to the gym. When he’d gone, I closed my eyes as I lay on my thin mat. All I could see was blood, blood everywhere. And 362 staring up at me as life drained from his eyes.

I’d never felt remorse, regret, but right now, I was drowning in it.

Chapter Sixteen

Kisa

“Why am I taking you to the gym again, Kisa?” Serge asked as I met him on the sidewalk shortly after Alik dropped me off at my papa’s house. Papa was already out entertaining the Georgian mob that had brought Goliath tonight and Alik was en route to join them, so I knew I would have all night free.

It was always like this when the championship was on. The mob bosses had to get business in all avenues done. But tonight just seemed different, my stomach swirling with nerves like something bad was going to happen. I knew it was a combination of both Alik’s strange mood and Raze’s strange reaction after he won his fight tonight.

Alik had been furious that Raze had won. So furious that he hadn’t even used my body post-match as was his usual M.O. He’d just dropped me off at home and coldly ordered me inside.

Alik was fearful. I’d never seen him fearful before. But him seeing Raze beating Goliath tonight with such incredible skill and strength had taken him to a state I’d never seen from him before: introverted, quiet, pensive.

It scared me more than his aggression. It didn’t know what to make of a non-expressive Alik. Of a distant and non-possessive Alik.

But right now, I tried to push all thoughts of Alik from my head. I needed to see Raze. Alik had forced me to watch his fight, trying to assert his dominance over me. And, my God, Raze had nearly died. But something was wrong with him afterward. He didn’t look pleased by his win. He couldn’t get up, like he was shell-shocked, staring down at Goliath with a devastated expression. Viktor had to lift him from his knees to get him out of the cage, support him as he walked down the hallway. And worse, I couldn’t go to him. Instead, I had to go with Alik.

I resented Alik for that. For once, I completely resented him.

I looked to Serge, Raze’s cutting face prominent in my mind. “Please, Serge…” I begged, and he stood stoic in front of me before opening the back door of the Lincoln and gestured for me to go inside. I slipped into the backseat and Serge got behind the wheel.

He turned around. “Kisa? What’s going on? You sneaking out like this is putting us both in danger. I’m not doing it unless you start giving me some answers.”

I dropped my eyes to the sidewalk outside and warred with what to do. I looked to Serge again and my eyes filled with tears.

“Kisa, are you in trouble?” he asked, but I shook my head. “Are you… have you been seeing someone else? Behind Mr. Durov’s back? Are you meeting him at the gym?”

“It’s not like that, Serge.” I sniffled and wiped the tears from my eyes. “It’s more than just ‘seeing’ someone.”

Serge’s face paled. “Kisa! You are seeing someone else? Do you have a death wish? Mr. Durov will kill you both if he finds out. That man is unstable at the best of times, but about you? He’s beyond insane.” His gaze fell but then focused back on me. “Who is it?”

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you. I can barely believe it myself.”

“Kisa, you’re not making sense.”

My stomach rolled with the words I was about to say, the secret I was about to confess. Serge sat farther forward, and I whispered, “You won’t believe me if I tell you.”

“Try me,” he said curtly.

“It’s… it’s… Luka…”

Serge stared and stared at me like I was a moron. “Luka?” he asked. “Luka Tolstoi?”

“Yes,” I replied in a barely audible voice and clutched the purse on my lap. It was filled with photos and mementos from our childhood. Tonight I was going to try and make him remember. Tonight I wanted him to remember me… us… everything.

I just wanted my Luka back… at least I wanted as much of him back as was left. I’d have any part of Luka at all, I’d take any tiny scrap of him that remained.

“You’re being unfaithful with Luka Tolstoi?” Serge said dryly, confusion lacing his Russian accented voice.

I nodded, and he stared at me like I’d gone insane. “Kisa, Mr. Tolstoi died years ago in an accident. His body burned to death. What’s really going on? Who are you trying to protect?”

“Raze—”

“The new fighter?” Serge interrupted. “What the hell has he got to do with Luka?”

“He is Luka, Serge. Raze is Luka.”

“Kisa, I don’t know what—”

“He got sent away to an underground prison after Rodion was killed, off the grid, and he was forced to become a fighter. A death match fighter, Serge. I know it sounds unbelievable, but it happened. He has no memory of who he is, where he’s from, or who we all are to him. He was tortured and abused. He’s like an animal, just fighting and surviving, no humanity, but the fleeting glimpses I get when he looks at me…” I swallowed hard and said, “When he’s with me…”

“Kisa, this is all—”

“His eyes are the same as Luka’s, brown with a smudge of blue in his left iris. His mannerisms are the same. He tilts his head and purses his lips, his full lips that are the exact same shape… And he has these dreams, vivid dreams. They’re memories, Serge, not just dreams. I’m sure of it. Being back in Brooklyn, he’s remembering more and more. It’s Luka. He’s come back to me.” I looked up into Serge’s shocked eyes and said, “And he needs my help. I’ve got to make him remember. I need to know what happened all those years ago. We all do. There’s just so much pain. So many unanswered questions that have been swept under the rug.”