Going Under (Going Under 1)

“I don’t think he felt well, Claire. He probably wanted to leave earlier, but stayed for dinner out of courtesy,” she stated.

My dad interjected to support me. “He didn’t seem ill when I spoke with him. I thought he seemed glad to be here, maybe a little nervous, but he was fine. I also saw a change in him at dinner, so I have to agree with Claire. Something occurred from the time I spoke with him until I saw him again at dinner.”

My mother looked uneasy. “The only thing I can say is that I didn’t do anything to Jessie.”

“Did you say something to him when I walked out of the room?” I accused.

She looked like she was choosing her words carefully. “We did speak when you went to get your father,” she admitted.

“What did you say to him?” I yelled.

She shut her eyes and lifted her head toward the ceiling. “I can’t tell you, Claire,” she answered.

“Mom, there’s only one reason you would say you can’t tell me what you talked about with Jessie.”

She didn’t reply and I felt my stomach drop to my feet. “Omigod, Mom. Jessie is your patient!”

“I cannot confirm nor deny that,” she said in her most clinical voice.

“Mom! It’s no wonder he clammed up all the sudden if he is your patient. He’s never going to come back,” I screamed.

“You know I have an oath and I can’t tell you anything, Claire.”

I felt the tears welling up in my eyes. “This isn’t about your stupid oath. It’s about me and Jessie. I love him, Mom, and I need you to make this right. I want you to tell him you don’t hold anything he has told you against him and he is welcome in our home.”

“Claire, this is a very delicate situation,” my dad defended.

My mom wouldn’t look at me.

I needed to talk to Jessie. Now. But I didn’t know where he was or where he lived. I stormed out of the kitchen and went to my bedroom to find my phone. I called Jessie, but he didn’t answer and I wasn’t surprised. I sent a text telling him I needed to talk to him, but I didn’t expect a response after what had just unraveled.

I called Dane, the only person I could think of that might know where Jessie lived. “Hey, Dane. This Claire. I’m trying to find Jessie and I don’t know where he lives. Do you know?”

“He’s never taken me to his house because we’ve always hung out at my place. The things he has mentioned makes me think he lives on the South side of the county. I have a hunch he lives in that trailer park on the county line, but I’ve never asked him or mentioned it because I didn’t want to embarrass him.”

I’d never had a reason to explore the South side, so I wasn’t familiar with the area at all. “I don’t know where you’re talking about. Would you mind taking me?”

He hesitated like he was thinking it over. “Are you sure that’s a good idea? I mean, if he wanted you at his house, wouldn’t he have taken you there?”

“He wouldn’t have taken me there if he’s too embarrassed by where he lives, but I want him to know he shouldn’t be.”

I could tell he didn’t want to upset his friend, but he finally conceded, “I’ll take you if you really want me to, but it may not even be where he lives. The only thing we can do is drive out that way and look for his truck.”

I was willing to try anything. “If you’re not in the middle of anything too important, I really want you to take me. I need to see him, Dane.”

I sent up a prayer and waited for Dane’s answer. “Okay, I’ll come by your place in about fifteen minutes.”

I sighed a breath of relief. “I’ll be watching for you. And Dane…thank you so much.”

“Well, I’m not taking the blame if we find him and he’s mad as hell about you showing up at his place without an invite,” he warned.

“I promise I’ll take all the blame,” I assured him.

When Dane pulled into my driveway, I raced out the door before he had a chance to get out of his car. I got in and told him again how grateful I was for his help, then he drove in the direction of where he suspected Jessie lived.

I had never been out that way, but there was a distinct difference in the housing the further south we drove. We left the grand two stories behind us and progressively drove into what most of my friends would refer to as a ghetto.

I hoped Dane was wrong about where Jessie lived, but if he wasn’t, it didn’t matter. I loved him and I didn’t care what kind of house he lived in or if he didn’t have money.

Dane turned into a place where mobile homes were lined with only enough room for a built on porch and a couple of cars in between. We searched for Jessie’s truck as he slowly drove through the trailer park, but didn’t see a sign of it and my hopes began to fade.

Dane saw the disappointment on my face. “I guess I was either wrong about this being the place or he didn’t go home after he left your house.”

I began to cry out of my desperation to find Jessie and need to straighten things out between us. “Thanks for trying, Dane,” I whimpered.

Dane tried to comfort me by saying, “Please don’t cry, Claire. I’m sure it’s not as bad as you think. I know that Jessie is crazy about you, so I’m sure you’ll work it out.”

“I don’t know if we will, Dane. It’s pretty serious,” I sobbed as I continued to search for Jessie’s truck in every yard we drove by.

I finally gave up after two hours of riding around and told Dane he could take me home. I tried one last time to call Jessie, getting his voicemail again. “Jessie, please call me. I really need to talk to you.”

* * *

Sunday came and went without hearing a word from Jessie and I was terrified he had decided things weren’t going to work between us. I didn’t sleep well for a second night and I got up while it was still dark to get ready for school on Monday morning.

I waited in Humanities impatiently and felt short of breath when he finally came through the door. This was it-the moment of truth.

He took the seat next to me, put his backpack down, then looked over at me and softly said, “Hey, Princess.”

Hearing him call me Princess made me feel a little more at ease. “Hey, you,” I said, keeping with our usual routine. I looked down at my notebook and doodled as I added, “You didn’t return my calls or texts.”

When he started to answer, I looked over at him. “I’m sorry. I know you’re probably a little confused about what is going on with me, but we don’t have time to get into everything before class. Will you meet me after practice so we can talk?”