Dead Man Walking (The Fallen Men 6)

I smiled slightly watching them, feeling joy move through me softly like water through rock.

“Not havin’ such a good time,” Wrath noted, forearms braced on the bar as he leaned beside me, his long, wild waves hanging in his gorgeous face as he looked over at me. “Don’t strike me as a party girl.”

I swirled the short straw in my Bourbon Peach Smash then blocked the top of the straw with a finger and brought the end to my mouth before I let go so the liquid trapped there fell between my open lips.

When I was done, I smiled wanly at the brother who never smiled. “You don’t seem much for them either.”

Wrath’s eyes crinkled just slightly, but otherwise his permanent scowl stayed in place. “I’m not much for anythin’ these days.”

I nodded. We all knew Wrath’s tragic story, the love of his life lost to gang violence when he was still patched in to the Berserkers MC years ago. I didn’t know the devastation of losing your one true love, but the acute edge of agony I’d felt obsessing over Priest, unattainable and forbidden as he was for years had been bad enough. I couldn’t imagine the pain Wrath lived with every day.

“Is it hard…” I started tentatively then took another sip of the sweet, boozy perfection and spoke strongly. “Is it hard to go on after losing someone like that?”

Wrath’s thick brown brow arched, cutting lines into his smooth forehead. Sometimes, I forgot he was still in his twenties because he wore his grief so heavily in the lines of his glowering face. He seemed surprised I’d asked something so bold, his gaze assessing me with new eyes.

I thought maybe he wouldn’t respond. It was an invasive question, but I was a student of psychology and I liked those kinds of inquiries best so I didn’t take it back.

“’S like I was run through with a sword straight through the chest,” he said finally, soft enough it was hard to hear over the bumping notes of music. He thumped his chest then reached down to slam back his shot of dark liquor before continuing. “And I gotta live with it there every fuckin’ day ’til I can join her in death.”

A shiver raced across my skin even though the air in the club was thick and close.

When Wrath tipped his head to look at me, his eyes were a dark pool, fathomless as the ocean bottom and just as filled with unknown terrors. “But I gotta keep on livin’. She…fuck, she was so young. She had stuff she wanted to do, so I’m gonna do it for her. Live for her, I guess you could say. The pain is the price I pay for not protectin’ her like I shoulda.”

“Wrath,” I said softly, wanting to touch him so badly my hand quivered even though I knew he wouldn’t appreciate it. “I know there’s nothing I can say to make you feel better. I can apologize and empathize all I want, but I know this is your cross to bear. All I can say is, I hope you know that the weight of your grief is a burden you can share.” I gestured to the men behind me and the girls on the dance floor, then flattened my palm over my heart. “Every single one of us would be honoured to help you carry it.”

Wrath’s nostrils flared at the tip of his roman nose, such a small tell for such a colossal man, but it told me my words were felt in his chest.

“Can see why Lou calls you her sunshine girl,” Wrath muttered. “Can’t just leave the dark well enough alone, huh?”

“Nope,” I agreed, popping the ‘p’ then smiling brightly. “I’m cute but psycho.”

Wrath’s whole mouth moved an inch to the left, curling just slightly. “Gotta be, you’re into Priest.”

I looked away, suddenly fixating on the straw in my depleted cocktail.

"Since I was a child, I've always been drawn to things that go bump in the night. So, is it any wonder I've gone and fallen for a man who’s scarier than most little girls can ever conceive of in their nightmares?" I mused.

“You’re not reinventin’ the wheel, Bea,” Bat interjected, tugging on one of my curls the way he’d done since I was a kid. “Opposites attract is a pretty fuckin’ classic adage.”

I pouted. “Does everyone know I like him?”

Bat and Dane shared a look. They’d only known each other for half a year, but they were already thick as thieves, sharing a language of intimacy only they could transcribe.

“Not been here long, and I noticed it right off,” Dane admitted, rubbing a hand over the cropped afro he’d grown since he’d been home.

“Cyclops only got one eye, and even he can see it,” Boner joked as he appeared in front of us, leading Tay and Cleo through the crowd to our side.