The Consequence (The Evolution of Sin 3)

I let out a shuddering sigh, trying to expel the acidity in my chest that was worry for the future and the pain of the past.

He sensed my struggle and his hard face softened. “I don’t want to go back to the city before you feel secure in this, in us. We will have to face a number of monumental challenges in order for me to give you a happy ending and if you don’t believe in my love for you, we won’t be able to overcome them.”

I agreed with him but I didn’t know how to respond because I was unsure. For weeks, he had seemed content to stay with my sister even though he claimed to love me. I knew he loved me but I didn’t think love was enough. He didn’t know me enough, I figured, to see the deep fault lines that ran through my character. He could always change his mind about me, about how well I fit into his beautifully constructed life. The son of the Governor of New York, the CEO of a successful real-estate development company and a man of his incredible character deserved the best. I wanted that for him. I wanted to be that for him. I just wasn’t sure if I was up to muster.

“In a couple of superficial ways, I think Elena is better suited to you,” I confessed.

It was hard to do but I wanted to be honest now that I had the opportunity to be. Sinclair was finally in my arms, in my life in the way I wanted him to be and voicing my insecurities was a risk to that but not talking them out, giving them license to fester and haunt, was a greater one.

“In no way is that true,” he countered immediately. “I told you back in Mexico, there is nothing bad I can say about Elena. She doesn’t like my kink, of course, but that isn’t something to hold against her. She is a beautiful, talented, classy woman that I spent four years of my life with. I do not regret those years.”

A shiver tore through me and because I was in his arms, he felt it even though I didn’t want him to.

“They led me to you, Elle. You were always my destination, d’accord? I feel this and I know this in every way a man can know that he has found the right woman. I told you that I would fight for us and I will, even if it means fighting you and your own insecurities.”

I stiffened again but he knew why and addressed it before I could even fully digest the reason myself.

“I am not saying that your fears are baseless. I gave you reason to doubt me. I am just telling you that I am going to rectify the pain I caused by lavishing you with love and protecting you from anyone who may harm you. Until you feel utterly secure in that truth, I want to stay here in Paris. Are you okay with that?”

Stay in Paris, hidden away in my favorite city with my favorite man so that I didn’t have to face the awful consequences of our completely not awful love?

“I can do that,” I whispered.

“It may mean being here for Christmas,” he warned.

I hadn’t thought of that but when I did, I only felt relief. I couldn’t imagine spending Christmas with my family when everything was still so unresolved. It would mean either pretending I wasn’t with Sinclair or tearing apart my family just in time for the holidays.

“We will have to push back the date of your gallery showing too,” he warned.

It was currently scheduled for January so this was true, if we stayed any longer than a week or two it would need to be pushed back and I wasn’t sure how I felt about that.

“We could reschedule it for Valentine’s Day,” Sinclair suggested. “Fitting, no?”

I grinned, because it was.

“Let’s stay here,” I said, going into a crunch so that I could gently bite his chin and then place a kiss there, a physical representation of the apology I wanted to give him for still having so many doubts.

“We’ll stay here. I’ll contact my office and Rossi to let them know the change in our plans tomorrow,” he said, holding me closer for a moment before readjusting us so that I was faced away from him and he was spooned up against me. “Now, get some rest because tomorrow we are going to spend most of the day exploring my girl’s favorite place in the world.”

“Okay,” I said as exhaustion crashed down around me. “Love you more than anything in the world, Sinclair.”

“My love for you is bigger than the world, my siren,” he said into my ear just before I fell into a heavy sleep.