Scandalous (Sinners of Saint 3)

And then…and then…

If you want to be strong, be.

I folded my arms over my chest. “Actually, it is, seeing as I’m in love with him.”

The silence in the room was dense and heavy and real. Jordan’s eyes widened, his nostrils flared, and his mouth twisted into a scowl I’d never seen before. It’s like he invented a new, pissed-off expression just for me. But I couldn’t take my words back now, and didn’t want to, anyway.

I stepped deeper into the office, knowing what I was doing. Risking everything. My relationship with Theo. My relationship with Trent. With Luna. With my mother. But I was tired and weary of tiptoeing around this man. I’d lose everyone else, but maybe I’d finally find myself.

And if I had to press the self-destruct button to sever the ties between this man and me, so be it. I wanted to feel like I could take a lungful of oxygen without fearing the world would collapse.

“I’m in love with Trent Rexroth so blindly, Jordan, I’m not even sure I see anything other than him when he’s around. I will die for this man, not to mention protect him at all costs. He is a wonderful, broken human being, who is trying hard to do what you’ve failed so miserably. To be a dad. A parent. Someone to lean on. He is making the right choices, time after time, at any cost. He is taking care of the fragile, even though he is callous as hell. And he does everything with integrity and without running anyone else over. So tell me, Jordan, why in the hell do you hate my boyfriend so much?”

He stood up from his chair, his face blood red. I thought a vein was going to pop out of his temple. Maybe I even hoped that’s what was going to happen. His fists were clenched at his sides, his body quivering to the rhythm of his own uncontained rage.

“Give me the flash drive.”

“No.” I stood taller. “What has he done to you?”

“He stole something of mine.”

“What was it?”

“It was everything. Now give me the flash drive before you regret it.” He reached his open palm across his desk, expecting me to obey. He was sorely mistaken. I took a wide step back, feeling like the flash drive was ten times heavier than its featherweight.

“Never.”

He pounced on me before I could react, lunging across his desk to take what he wanted without asking. It shouldn’t have surprised me. All the times he’d manhandled me had proven he had no respect for me. I moved away, clawing at his face instinctively.

“Jesus Christ, you little bitch!” He palmed the scratch I’d left on his face, stumbling backwards. For all his height, my father was grossly unequipped to fight anyone. Even me. He’d spent his whole life tucked in an office like a hamster in a cage.

“Don’t you dare touch me ever again!” My voice shook, but I didn’t. It gave me strength.

“Pack a bag and leave your mother’s house.” He pointed at the door, panting, gasping, seething. “You’re eighteen, so opinionated and mighty. You have it all figured out, don’t you, you little slut?” The last word slapped me in the face and knocked the breath out of my lungs. “I’m sure Trent will happily take you in. But then he is a walking, talking STD, just like the rest of his friends. I am no longer obligated to put a roof over your head. Pack a bag, Edie, and while you are at it, make sure you take whatever you have here with you as well, because you’re fired.”

Instead of doing all the things I thought I would—crying, begging, fearing for what was to come, I turned around and made my way to the door. My back was to him when my father put the last nail in our relationship’s coffin.

“It’s a shame you won’t have time to say goodbye to your brother. I am going to transfer him this week.”

I turned around, smiling, for once, because I knew something he didn’t. “You can’t do that.”

“And why is that, little slut?” he spat, as if he wanted to remind me that’s who I was to him right now. His precious little girl who’d opened her legs to the big, bad wolf.

“Because social services are looking into Theo’s situation. Besides, you can’t transfer a minor from one group house to another so quickly. I checked. You think you’re so powerful, Father, you forget there are other forces around you equally as strong. Even the biggest wave crashes. You’re about to hit the sand. I hope you like the taste of dust.”

I SPENT THE REST OF the day on the beach, alone. I didn’t have time to tell Trent what had happened, and I wanted to have that conversation face-to-face. I was buzzing with adrenaline and high on the danger of what I’d done. So, after calling the rehab facility where Mom had been checked into the day before, I went to the beach to spend some time with the violent ocean. We understood one another. I sat in front of the setting sun, my toes in the sand, hugging my knees and listening to the sounds of seagulls and waves crashing ashore.