Broken Knight (All Saints High 2)

He didn’t do things by the book.

But he was sober.

And hurting.

And mine.

It was the easiest decision to make. The easiest by far. And the Rosie-colored elephant in the room was knocking over racks of clothes left and right, because I knew she was somewhere up there watching this whole thing. In fact, I could practically hear her telling me not to settle for this before I heard the words I’d been dying to hear since the day he’d saved my life in the rain on my bike. Since the day I’d known I didn’t love him as a brother. Not at all. He was the love of my life.

“Knight Jameson Cole,” I said, loud and clear, not caring that we had an audience, that the saleswomen took out their phones to record this. That Edie, Mel, and Emilia had tears in their eyes. That Daria muttered only half-jokingly that I was stealing all her thunder.

“You come here right now and tell me the L word if you want to be my awful-wedded husband.”

The entire football team erupted in laughter, and Knight’s nervous smile broke into the cockiest, most arrogant, most adorable grin I’d ever seen on a human face. He made me weak in the knees. And I knew, impossibly, that this was the way it was going to be until my last day. My heart would always miss a beat the first time he entered the room—no matter how many times I’d seen him.

Tossing his sign behind his shoulder, he threw the glass door open and strolled inside, ignoring Arabella and Alice to his right. When he reached me, he got down on one knee, but instead of looking up at me, he bowed his head, like a warrior kneeling in front of his queen, his sword piercing the ground. Producing something from his pocket, he held a ring up in the air, no box. I recognized it immediately. It had belonged to Rosie.

Story was, Dean had given it to her on their second wedding anniversary. It was a round-cut, yellowish-green diamond, surrounded by much smaller diamonds. For every year of Dean’s sobriety, he’d added one more mini-stone to surround the bigger one. At some point, he’d begun to decorate the band itself with precious diamonds, too.

Knight’s message was loud and clear. He wasn’t ignoring the issue. He was tackling it headfirst. He was promising me not only his heart and loyalty—but his sobriety, too.

“I know I have been a terrible boyfriend. I know we’re not together anymore. I know you deserve much, much better than what I’ve given you so far as a lover, not as a friend—other than the sex part. The sex part was…” He looked up, his eyes laughing as mine widened in horror and embarrassment. “I mean, let’s admit it, Moonshine. We’re the shit in bed, okay? No point denying it.”

Dad cupped his mouth with both hands. “On with your speech.”

Everyone laughed. I think it was the first time since Rosie was in a coma that our families were truly happy, and I understood why Knight needed this. This big, festive, out-of-this-world thing. We all needed it.

Knight shook his head, like he was trying to rid himself from some naughty thoughts. “Anyway, to your request—your quite reasonable request, milady—I assure you, I love you. I’m in love with you. I’m crazy about you. Have been since age four. It was always you. Never someone else. Not even for a fleeting moment. Not even when I dreamed of moving on from you. Even when I hated you—or when I thought I did—I knew we’d be together. I knew. Our love always had a pulse. Sometimes it was faint. Sometimes it was beating so hard I couldn’t hear anything else. But it would never die. It can’t. I won’t let it.”

I took a shuddering breath, placing my hands on his shoulders, signaling him to get up. But he stayed put, still on one knee.

“I spent the night at Dixie’s, trying to come up with a way for you to know I will never repeat my mistakes. I will never give in to alcohol and drugs again. Never self-destruct that way. But the only thing I could come up with was for you to give me a chance not to fuck up. Because if we’re apart—how would you be able to know? I decided I’m coming to North Carolina, babe. You gave up so much for me, and I am happy to do the same for you.”

I shook my head frantically. Violently, almost. Now Knight’s smile was completely gone. His face a little paler.

“No,” I said, letting the tears on my cheeks run freely.

“No?” He was still on one knee, and not in a hurry to stand up.

I loved it. I loved that he was still in a vulnerable position. For me.