A Necessary Sin (The Sin Trilogy 1)

I give up on Bleu being the first to

broach the subject. “That wasn’t real, right? It had to be a hoax.”

“The logical side of my brain is trying to convince me it was a ruse but then I have this other side arguing against that. There’s no explanation for how she knew my mother called me Bleubird unless she was for real. And the chocolate chip cookies … how could she know that was something special I did with my mother?”

“I have no idea.”

Believing that she’s the real deal means accepting I’ll be married soon. Oddly, hearing that I’ll be happy with a wife and children doesn’t bring me joy—because that life doesn’t include Bleu. My time with her will be over much quicker than I’d like and I’m not excited by that prospect. “I don’t want to think about the things that woman said. All I want to do is drink a lot of whisky and then take you home to our bed.”

Bleu holds up her glass for a toast. “Agreed.” We toss our whiskies back.

I lift my empty glass for the bartender to see again. “We’ll take the bottle.”

A half-full bottle is placed in front of us. I fill our glasses to the rim. “Toast?”

“Yes.”

Bleu and I look at one another and I suspect we’re feeling the same. “Here’s to the present.”

Bleu smiles but it doesn’t touch her eyes. She looks … sad. “To the here and now.”

* * *

Bleu kisses me like crazy as I work to unlock the door. I blindly succeed and we fall through the entrance together. She’s walking backward, pulling me toward the couch. “I want you right now.”

She leans back against the arm of the couch, pulling me to stand between her parted thighs. Her hand is on the back of my neck and she pulls me down so my mouth meets hers. She’s rougher than usual. I suppose I have the liquor to thank for that.

Her knees are bent and her legs are wrapped around my waist. I move my palms up her thighs until they’re cupping her bottom. “I love your arse. It’s perfect.”

She squeezes her legs around me so my groin is pressed hard against hers. “Yours is perfection. I love digging my heels in when you’re between my legs so you’ll fuck me harder.”

There’s nothing I love more than Bleu urging me on.

I move my hands from her arse to the front of her shorts. I unfasten the button and tug them, and her knickers, down her legs. They drop to the floor and I kick them away as she reaches for her top, pulling it over her head.

I pull her forward so her lower back is against the couch arm, her bottom hanging over the edge. I drop to my knee and plant her feet on my shoulders. Her legs are sprawled wide. “You have a way of bringing men to their knees.”

Her body shudders and a moan leaves her mouth when my tongue slowly drags upward through her center. “Ohh.”

I sweep my tongue up and down before changing the motion to a circular movement over her clit. I push two of my fingers in with my hand turned palm side up, and use them to stroke her on the inside.

Turning Bleu on turns me on. This sometimes means I’m not always aware of how fast I’m moving. In this case, it’s a good thing. “That feels … SO good, like a fluttering butterfly in just the right spot. Don’t stop.”

I wouldn’t dare stop. I love licking Bleu until she comes. “I am so close.” There’s only one thing I love more than making my Bonny Bleu come—that’s knowing I’m the only one to ever have done it.

I alternate the suction and release of her clit until she arches her back and cries out. “Oh God! Right there. Just like that.” I feel her inner body spasm around my fingers and she calls out my name. “Ohhh, Sin!” Her legs tense, her toes digging into my shoulders.

Then all goes lax and I know my lass is in post-orgasm bliss. “Good?”

She’s wiggled down so she’s inverted with her head on the couch cushion. Her eyes are closed and they remain that way. “Mmm-hmm,” she moans.

She isn’t talking. That means it was very good for her. Perfect.

I pull my shirt over my head and toss it into the pile of clothes. I unfasten my trousers and push them away before wrapping my hands around her hips to hold her in place. “My turn now.”

I enter her fast and hard. She always has the same reaction. Gasp. Tense. Relax. I’m quite fond of all three.

I grasp the soles of her feet and push her legs back and apart. I move in and out of her slowly because the position is so intense. I love the way it feels but I’m a little afraid of hurting her; it feels much deeper than ever before. “Does this feel good for you?”

She smiles up at me, biting her bottom lip. “Mmm-hmm. I like it.”

That means I can keep going. “I’m glad because this way feels so good, I didn’t want to stop.”

I thrust faster and a minute later I feel the onset of an orgasm. I slow my speed in hopes of prolonging the pleasure but it’s too late. Being this deep inside Bleu feels too damn good to not come quickly.

I don’t know why I try. I’m never able to hold back with her.

I release her feet and grab her hips to hold her in place. “Ohh, I’m coming.”

She wraps her legs around my waist and digs her heels into my arse, slamming our pelvises together. There is no beginning and no end. We are one. And then I erupt inside her.

When my orgasm is over, I notice Bleu grinning. “What are you smiling about?”

“You have a great come face.” She laughs.

“I happen to like yours as well. I enjoy seeing it often.”

“I have no objections to showing it to you on a regular basis.”

I slap my hand over her arse cheek and squeeze. “Move up, Bonny. I want to lie with you.”

Bleu slides up the couch and I stretch next to her. We’re facing one another. She hitches her leg over mine and snuggles close. She traces the tip of her finger from my hairline down my forehead, the bridge of my nose, stopping at my lips. She moves her finger back and forth over my bottom one. “I love this mouth.”

“This mouth has a confession.”

A wrinkle appears across her brow. “Okay.”

I think she’s worried about what she’s going to hear from me. She should be. I’ve had a lot of whisky and my tongue is loose.

“I’m a selfish bastard. I’m certain you’ve never met a bigger one. That means I don’t want to share you with anyone. The thought of another having you this way … it sends me into hysteria. I think I might kill any man who dared touch you.”

She says nothing but leans forward to kiss my mouth. Her hand strokes my leg, not at the top close to my cock. It’s near my amputation.

My divulgence isn’t over. “I may never let you go, Bonny Bleu.”

“I doubt your Fellowship-approved wife will care for that.” Oh. She’s going to bring that up, huh?

“She’ll like it about as much as your husband will.” I know it’s irrational to be angry about a future that has nothing to do with the present—and is likely a hoax—but the thought of Bleu one day having another man as her husband pisses me off. It feels like a betrayal she’s yet to commit, but I know it’s coming.

“Sin.” She props her head in her hand. “You sound like you’re mad at me.”

Do I dare admit it?

Aye, I do. “Hell yeah, I’m angry. You’re going to be with someone else.”

She hits my uninjured shoulder with her fist. “Why are you getting pissed off at me? You’re going to be with someone else too. And soon—with babies. You’ll have everything I desperately want but will probably never have. Do you know how that makes me feel?”

She thinks this doesn’t bother me as well? “No worries. You and your husband can thaw out your wee one whenever you decide you’re ready to welcome him or her into the world.”

“Frozen eggs are more susceptible to damage during the freezing process. I didn’t have a highly successful retrieval. That means my chances for having babies aren’t good.”

I wouldn’t have done the reading had I known it was going to cause a problem between us. “Psychics aren’t

real. None of that stuff she said is true.”

“I didn’t need a psychic to tell me you’re going to be a stupid crime boss lording over a bunch of dumb-asses. Or that you’re going to allow them to dictate who you can and can’t be with.” She sits up and spins around so her back is turned. She leans forward with her head in her hands. “I’m thinking about you being with somebody else and now I’m pissed off.”

“Is it nuts to say it feels like a betrayal?” I ask.

“It totally does. I have an aching throb deep in my chest.”

She doesn’t have to describe it. I know the exact feeling.

I put my arm around Bleu’s waist and pull her to lie next to me again. “We didn’t need a fake or real psychic to tell us we won’t last forever. That’s a given, but we have this time together. Let’s make the most of it.”

I drape my arm over her body and pull her close. My cheek is pressed against her back and I feel her body shudder. She’s crying. I rub my hand over the back of her hair. “Shh … please, don’t.”

Crying women have never fazed me but Bleu crying … that’s something different. I don’t take it lightly. This isn’t a performance. She isn’t shedding tears with an ulterior motive in mind. This is her coming to terms with the fact that we’ll be over soon.

I don’t know when it happened but I’ve fallen completely and madly in love with this woman. I could be out of my mind but I think she may love me too. It’s an unexpected surprise considering what an unlovable bastard I am.

We’re not over. I refuse to accept any future that doesn’t include Bleu. I will not give up the best thing that’s ever happened to me, not for anything or anyone. Now I must figure out a way to work this out with The Fellowship.

* * *

The woman sitting across the table gave birth to me, yet she’s practically a stranger. We resided in the same house most of my life but I have very few memories of being parented by Isobel Breckenridge. I don’t know her, yet she’s the only person I want to talk to right now.

“I asked you to join me for breakfast because I need advice, and I feel you’re the only one I can trust with this.”