The Next Sin (The Sin Trilogy 2)

I knock and Bleu calls out for me to come in.

She’s lying on an exam table, her head slightly elevated, with my mum sitting at her side. “I’ll step out so you can talk.”

I go to Bleu and take her hand. “I’m so sorry I’m late. My flight was delayed.”

“Isobel told me.”

Her eyes are swollen and red, her mascara smeared. “You missed it. You swore you’d be with me but you weren’t.”

I bring her hand to my mouth and kiss it. “I’m so damn sorry. It was a string of unfortunate events keeping me from you. I tried my damnedest to get here. I swear.”

She stares at the ceiling without a reply.

“Please forgive me.”

She closes her eyes and tears roll from the corners of her lids into her hairline.

“Are you in pain?”

“No.”

That’s all the reply I get.

“I’m such an arse. I should’ve moved heaven and earth to be with you. I know I let you down but please try not to be upset.”

I rub my free hand atop her lower abdomen. “It can’t be good for you or what’s happening inside you right now.”

“I’m angry with you but I’m going to put it aside for now.”

“Don’t worry. You’ll get your chance to be pissed off at me—just not right now while our babies are trying to do their thing.”

That brings a smile to her face.

“Dr. Paschall thinks everything went well?” I wouldn’t have to ask if I’d been here.

“Yes.”

“What’s next?”

“They want me to lie still until they come back to release me. I’m to be on modified bed rest for the next twenty-four hours and then take it easy for a couple of days. No travels for a few days. No sex—not that you’d be getting any anyway. I’m too pissed off to even consider it.”

She enjoyed telling me that. I suppose I can’t blame her.

“I’m going to make this up to you.” I don’t know how but I won’t stop until I find a way.

Chapter Seventeen

Bleu Breckenridge

I’ve spent the last two days in our London hotel’s presidential suite. We’ve spent a lot of time here in the recent weeks. It sort of feels like a second home.

My husband has pampered me and seen to my every whim. But he owes me that much after being MIA for the transfer. I’m not over that—and won’t be any time soon—but at least the urge to choke him has passed.

I’m lying on the sofa reading while Sin sits in the chair next to me flipping through a file. He’s reviewing a case going to court in a few days. I should let him work but I don’t want to. I feel like talking.

I place my e-reader on my stomach. “What happened Thursday night?”

He looks over the file at me. “You shouldn’t concern yourself with it. You don’t need the stress.”

“Not knowing stresses me more than knowing. You should probably understand that about me now rather than later.”

He sucks in a breath. “One of our trucks was raided by The Order. They took a large supply of firearms intended for a new alliance in Ireland—one that’s instrumental in a bigger goal in Dublin. It was imperative to get the arms back. We didn’t need that kind of ammunition to be in the hands of The Order but we also needed the supply to maintain our relationship with an organization called The Guild.”

I can’t recall anything about The Guild but I suppose I wouldn’t if they’re a new alliance.

“Did it go well?”

“We got the arms back and discovered a huge supply of bomb-making materials in the process. I believe they were going to target us with explosives.”

“Was anyone hurt?”

“I lost three good men. One of them died in my arms while speaking to his pregnant wife on the phone.”

“Oh God. That must’ve been brutal.”

He doesn’t reply.

My husband isn’t an emotional man. He can’t afford to be but I’m guessing even that might have touched him. Babies have a way of doing that to people.

“You’ll see that this man’s wife and child are taken care of?”

“Of course. He died under my command so I’ll see to them personally.”

He returns to studying his file. I don’t think he wants to discuss what happened, but I do. I have things to say. “I forgive you for not being here.”

He lowers the folder again. “You’ll never know how sick I am that I missed it.”

He’s going to miss more than this one procedure before it’s over. Of that, I’m certain. “Always do your best. That’s all I ask of you.”

“You and our family will always be my number-one priority but please try to understand that protecting The Fellowship means keeping you and our children safe as well.”

I’m not fragile. I can handle the truth. “It’s easier to be understanding when you know what’s going on.”

“I would’ve told you if the circumstances weren’t what they were. I needed you calm. That wouldn’t have been the case had you known what I was in the middle of.”

The Order was once no concern of mine but all is different now. Everything they do impacts The Fellowship, thereby affecting my husband. That trickles down to me. I’m not okay with that. “The Order is a pest that must be squashed quickly.”

My husband grins. “Agreed. I’m open to ideas.”

“Debra could be very beneficial in dealing with The Order. She’s a genius when it comes to organized crime. She had eyes on The Fellowship for years and you were none the wiser. Most importantly, she’s a family friend. She can be trusted.”

“Call her. Have her put on payroll immediately.”

I thought he’d be interested. “She won’t be cheap but she’s worth every penny.”

“Don’t give a damn. Her fee couldn’t possibly exceed the expenses The Order costs us.”

“I’ll let her know.”

“We’ll schedule a leadership meeting for early next week. She can join us. I hope she’ll have some fresh ideas.”

I have no doubt she will.

“Debra understands the criminal mind in ways I’ve never seen. I can’t begin to comprehend the complexity of what she knows and understands. She’s a total mind-fuck.”

“I can’t believe we’ve never heard of her.”

“She’s a phantom.” I’d kill to be more like her.

“I would’ve loved nothing more than to go undercover within The Order.” It would have been incredibly satisfying to have done something like that for the brotherhood I now consider “my people.”

“I understand and respect your need to bring something productive to the table. It’s one of the things I love so dearly about you but you’ll have to find it in something that isn’t dangerous.”

“I can’t help it. I thrive in dangerous situations,” I say.

“Changing diapers can be dangerous stuff. Especially if we have a boy. I’ve heard those little buggers can open fire on you without any warning.”

I’m used to action. I fear I won’t find motherhood fulfilling. And I’m terrified to share that with Sin. “I have a lot to learn.”

He moves to the sofa and pulls my feet onto his lap to rub them. “Being a mother to our children will be the most important mission you’ll ever have. Never doubt that.”

* * *

The two-week wait has been hell but it ends today. I’m at my local OB/GYN having my beta HCG test. It’s the first in a series of blood tests to confirm whether I have conceived. If so, it will also confirm if the pregnancy is growing at a healthy pace.

They’ve drawn my blood and told me to expect the results in thirty minutes. More hell. It’s the worst kind because I know the answer is imminent.

My name is called. My legs are weak when I stand to walk so I loop my arm through Sin’s. He probably thinks I’m being affectionate but the truth is my knees could buckle at any time.

We’re taken to an exam room and left to wait. Again. Torturous.

“God, I hope I don’t have to get naked for this. I feel like I’ve shown my stuff to half the world.”