Endurance (The Sin Trilogy 4)

We stand like that for one, two, three minutes before he loosens his grip.

“You were shot, Doc. I saw them fire a bullet into you and then watched you collapse on the ground in front of me. I thought you were dying.”

“Minor wound. Don’t give it another minute of thought. It’s almost healed.” He kisses the top of my head. “Come on. Let’s get you home, baby.”

I’m dying to tell Jamie that Kieran didn’t touch me but that conversation requires him finding out that I was spared because his sister took the brunt of Kieran’s sexual assault. I don’t think it’s wise for him to hear that while he’s driving.

I shut my eyes when we pull away from Thane’s. Being back with Jamie gives me such a sense of peace and safety that we’re parked in front of the infirmary when I open my eyes again.

This is where we live but Jamie’s arms are home.

“I’m sorry I fell asleep.”

“It’s fine, baby. You need the rest.”

I sit in the passenger seat until Jamie comes around and opens my door. I step out and almost squeal when he scoops me from the ground. He carries me up the drive and briefly puts me down to unlock the front door before attempting to lift me again.

“I’m not injured. I can walk.” He needs to see that I’m okay. That I’m not a fragile doll princess who breaks.

“I want to take care of you, Mac.”

“I know. And I’ll let you when we’re in the bedroom but throwing your back out carrying me up the stairs does neither of us any good.”

“You’re not heavy.”

“Thank you, but it’s unnecessary. Let me do it.”

I’m tired but I’ve been locked in a room for three days. I need to exercise my ability to choose, because there is something horrifying about having that taken away.

I walk into our room and the bed calls out to me. Come lie on me and fall into a coma. I would except I really want to bathe. Need it. I feel so dirty despite having not been touched by a single member of The Order. “I want to shower.”

“Of course.”

Jamie comes into the bathroom and watches me brush my teeth while the water warms. Old house. Old plumbing.

“I’ve never experienced a hell like the one I’ve gone through the last three days without you.”

We’re standing beneath the bathroom lights and this is the first good look I’ve gotten at Jamie. He’s pale with dark circles beneath his eyes. I think his cheeks even look a bit sunken. “Did you slept and eat at all while I was gone?”

“Couldn’t.”

“Then you must be as exhausted as me.”

“I got a glimpse into what my life looks like without you in it. I hated every second.”

“I hated being away from you.”

Our reflections have a stare down in the mirror and I recognize the look in his eyes. It’s the one that says he wants me. But he doesn’t take a single step in my direction. “Have a hot shower and we’ll talk when you’re finished—if you feel like it. If not, it can wait until tomorrow.”

Jamie wants to have a conversation about my abduction. No—make that a conversation about what happened to me during my abduction. I’m more interested in the conversation we were supposed to have three nights ago.

I’ve given us a lot of thought and I have things I want to tell you. I need to know what he was going to say to me.

The hot water feels magnificent but I don’t tarry because I’m eager to talk with Jamie. I don’t know where my sudden burst of energy came from, but I’m ready to do this.

I come out of the bathroom wearing only a towel—same as always. I never wear pajamas to bed with Jamie. To do so tonight would feel weird and call attention to something that didn’t happen.

Jamie’s lying on the bed staring at the ceiling. He looks a million miles away.

“I’m finished in the shower.”

He rises to sit and swings his legs around so his feet are on the floor. He holds out his hands. “Come here, baby.”

I stand between his legs and he rests his forehead against my towel-covered breasts. “Do you want me to examine you tonight or wait until the morning?”

He believes they raped me. “I don’t need to be examined. No one touched me.”

He reaches up and caresses my cheek. “The bruise on your face says otherwise.”

Does he think I’m lying? “I got smacked right after we were abducted but that was it. No one hit me after that. No one touched me. No one . . . raped me.” The last two words are said on a small breath, as I can’t say the same for his sister, and that makes my heart ache.

I need to talk to her. I need to know she’s okay.

“We met with Kieran and the council three nights ago. He was very clear about the fact that he was going to . . . fuck both of you.” Jamie’s voice is different. Almost growly.

“He had every intention of doing that. He said he was going to tie us to his bed and do whatever he wanted with us but . . . Westlyn negotiated a deal with him.”

“What kind of negotiation?”

This is the part I don’t want to tell him. “He told us he was going to beat and rape both of us. She agreed to give herself to him without a fight so I’d be spared.”

“Fuck.” He grips my hips and presses the top of his head against my stomach. “Fuck. No.”

“I told her not to but she made the deal with him anyway.”

I know Wes. In her mind, she had no one waiting for her and I had Jamie. She wanted me untainted for her brother. How could someone be so selfless?

“What happened to Westlyn was out of her control. Will the brothers see it that way or is she ruined with them forever?”

“The women who’ve been taken and raped by The Order in the past have never married. I can’t say if that was their individual decision or not.”

I’m guessing The Fellowship men made that choice for them. Condemning assholes.

Westlyn has said for as long as I’ve known her that she would never marry a Fellowship man. Even if she truly means it, I hate for her choice to be taken away from her.

“I don’t care if those fuckers presented The Fellowship with an offer for a treaty to end this feud or not. I am killing Kieran Hendry. A bullet between his eyes. That’s what he’s getting.”

“What treaty?” Westlyn said that Kieran left her in his quarters almost right after they abducted us. Was that when the offer was discussed?

“Lennox Hendry proposed we become allies instead of enemies and seal the deal with a double treaty.”

“A double treaty. I don’t know what that means.”

“The eldest Hendry proposed Kieran take you, Westlyn, or Evanna as his wife, and Mitch or I take his daughter as a wife.”

None of those scenarios can happen. “Would The Fellowship really align with people like them?”

“Lennox says he’s going to change the people of The Order. I think Thane is going to go along with it. He wants to end this feud as peacefully as possible.”

“Oh, God. I can’t marry that monster. And neither can Westlyn or Evanna.”

Jamie grabs my hands and kisses the tops. “I won’t let Kieran have you. And he won’t have my sisters either.”

He may not get a say if Thane is the one doing the negotiating.

I’m not Fellowship. He doesn’t know me well. I’m sure he would have no qualms about trading me for peace. “I’m up for claiming. If Kieran decides to take me then what choice do I have?”

Jamie releases my hands and cradles my face so we’re eye to eye. “He can’t take you if you’re already claimed and married to someone else. That above all else must be honored from one brotherhood to the next.”

I believe Jamie was going to tell me three days ago that he wanted to claim me but I don’t have a clue where his head is now after my abduction. Being apart could have forced him to realize that we belong together. Or it might have had the opposite effect. It’s possible he thinks I’m too much of a risk. Who would wan

t a wife they had to constantly guard?

“I need you to be clearer.”

“I’m claiming you, Mac. You’re mine. Neither Kieran nor one of my brothers will ever have you.”

Finally. The words I’ve been dying to hear.

I’m powerless to stop the tears forming in my eyes. “There’s nothing I want more.”

“Don’t cry, baby.”

“I can’t help it. I’m just so happy.”

“I’ve told you that you’re mine before but tonight saying it takes on a different meaning. More. You’re mine to provide for. To protect. To cherish. To love.”

I smile through my tears. “Is this really happening?”

“The Order is returning in three days to discuss the treaty. I’m certain Thane is going to agree. When he does, Kieran will choose his wife at that time.”

“That means we have to be married in the next seventy-two hours.”

“Which isn’t possible—at least not legally. There has to be a twenty-eight-day waiting period after notifying the district registrar.”

Shit. We could be in some big trouble. “We don’t have twenty-eight days. What are we going to do?”

“You need to be pregnant.” Oh. My. God. He is serious.