Hard Rider

But then I realize how amazing it is to be me and I smile, run a little faster and sweat a little harder. All the physical pain? The long hours of practice? The lonely life of a star on the rise?

It’s all fucking worth it.

I count my blessings every day.

That’s what I was doing - counting my blessings - when I rounded the corner by the 16th Street Mall. I had the right of way as I crossed the street and bounded into the crosswalk.

I didn’t even see the little bastard coming.

He didn’t see me either, because he had his teenaged nose jammed so far in his fucking cell phone that he didn’t realize he was about to plow straight into the 2016 Superbowl MVP.

I felt my knee explode with the impact and I tumbled up and over the car, smashing the windshield on my journey before bouncing off the roof and making a beautiful little swan dive straight into the asphalt. A string of cuss words flew out of my mouth as a lifetime of best-laid plans quickly evaporated into thin air. For a brief moment, I thought about how fucking stupid it would be if I died right here in the street. They’d probably make some fucking anti-text-and-drive law and slap my name on it. Somebody would make a sad commercial begging kids to put down their phones while “arms of an angel” played in the background and pictures of my smiling face flashed on screen.

I opened my eyes half expecting to see an angel, but the only thing hovering over me was Grady’s huge ass.

“Don’t move, boss!” Grady said, bending over and putting his jacket under my head. “Call an ambulance!” he demanded to the quickly growing crowd that had formed around me. The last thing I saw before I passed out from the pain was the horrified look on the pock-marked kid’s face over Grady’s shoulder, his iPhone still clutched tightly in his stupid little hand.

MAISEY

“Mama, I don’t want to go school. Sara told everyone that I’m dying and that’s why I need my inhaler!”

“What! That’s awful!” I said, stuffing a turkey sandwich into a brown paper bag. “You know that’s not true!”

“Of course I do, but now nobody will talk to me, or even sit with me at the lunch table. She told them all I was contagious!”

“That little bitch,” I muttered, low enough that my daughter wouldn’t hear me. I hated little Sara Paulson for the way she’d treated Maddy the last few years. I was counting the days till they both went off to different middle schools.

“Maddy,” I said, “you’ve just got to learn to ignore Sara. I know it’s hard, but it’s the only thing you can do. If you want, I’ll try to talk to Ms. Stone again.”

“No!” she said, her bright blue eyes flashing in anger. “That just makes everything worse because Ms. Stone makes me sit at the back of the room!”

“Okay, then, you’re just going to have to learn to ignore her,” I said, kneeling down and pulling her in for a hug. She was so tiny, so fragile, so beautiful it made me almost hurt to look at her. I’d never loved anything in my life the way I loved her. I’d have walked through fire for her, and more than anything I wanted to give little Sara a piece of my mind.

But I knew it wouldn’t work. I couldn’t keep fighting all of Maddy’s battles for her, as much as I wanted to. I’d been doing it for so long that it was second nature.

I let her go, handed her lunch bag to her and kissed the top of her head. Her smooth blonde curls were the exact opposite of my unruly black ones, and they smelled like heaven. I inhaled deeply before turning her around and gently prodding her towards the door.

“Don’t miss the bus, babe,” I said. “Everything will be okay, honey, I promise. Now, do you have your inhaler?”

She checked her backpack and nodded before heading out the door. I watched her walk slowly down our winding sidewalk, her head hung low with dread. I hated the fact that I had to send her off unprotected into the cold, cruel society that created the Sara’s of the world, but it’s just the two of us. I have no choice if I want to keep food on the table and her inhaler filled with albuterol and pay for whatever the treatment of the month was.

“I love you, honey!” I called after her. She turned back and flashed me a hesitant, crooked smile.

My heart melted, just like it always did.

“Love you, too, Mama!” she waved and I stood at the door watching as she walked down the street and boarded the waiting school bus. I kept watching until it rounded the corner, taking away the only thing in this world that kept me going.

I’d come a long way since leaving Ault behind. So much had happened in ten years, and yet sometimes it felt like nothing had happened at all. Clyde’s old truck had miraculously carried me all the way to Ft. Collins that sunny day, and I hopped on a train to Denver as soon as I got there, leaving Clyde’s old Ford waiting just where I’d said it would be.

I always wondered if he ever picked it up. I never wondered how he was doing, or if he missed me, hell, I knew the answers to those questions. But the truck had always left me guessing. I guess I’ll never know now, though. Going back to Ault and finding the answers to my many unanswered questions had never been high on my priority list. Someday, maybe, I always told myself, it might be nice to take a drive through the old town, see what’s changed… And see what hasn’t.

I was pretty sure it was just a whole lot of the same shit. A whole lot of nothing. The complete opposite of rapidly growing Denver. Denver had changed so much in the last ten years, I barely recognized the place sometimes.

But it had been good to me. I’d made it my home, and it had welcomed me with open arms when I needed it the most. I was terrified when I’d arrived, all alone, with nothing but a few hundred dollars and that tiny pink backpack to my name. There’d been long lonely days where I questioned everything I’d done, when I wondered if I was ever going to find stability, but it had all worked out.

With no time to waste, I was lucky and persistent enough to find a waitressing job on the third day I was here, which was good because Denver was a lot more expensive than I had expected, and my stash of money was quickly dwindling after paying for a cheap motel every night. When the nice old lady that gave me a job working at her greasy spoon said I could stay in the studio apartment above it until I made enough to start paying rent, I could have kissed her.

It was the first genuinely kind thing anyone had ever done for me in my life.

Daisy, the owner, became a kind of surrogate mother to me, and once I’d had Maddy, she took her in, too. I’d never been able to repay her for everything she taught me, and everything she did for me. I worked at that diner for over three years, even when I could have left to find a better paying job… I thought I had everything figured out when I left Ault behind in that rearview mirror, but looking back now, it hurt to think how naive I was. Daisy saved my life.

But that’s every eighteen year old, right? It's not like I had anyone in my life to teach me any better. I was going on what I’d learned fending for myself while Clyde was passed out.

And now, I was back to fending for myself again… Daisy died a year ago, and Maddy and I missed her like crazy, especially when I realized she’d left me one final gift.

When I was nineteen, I enrolled in some basic classes at the community college, and then later transferred to the University of Colorado and received my Human Physiology degree. There were

some days I thought I’d never be able to finish, and it took me six months longer than it normally would have because I was juggling parenting Maddy and working at the diner. Three more years in the physical therapy program followed and I was on my way toward being a Doctor of Physical Therapy.

And Daisy’s will left me enough money to pay for the whole thing… She’d wiped my student loans clean and given me a leg up I never could have repaid her for.

It almost killed me from lack of sleep, but I couldn’t let Daisy down. Somehow I’d persevered and I was thoroughly enjoying my job at the Steadman Hawkins clinic helping elite athletes return to their full potential after suffering from injuries. My job kept me sane, gave me purpose outside of being a mother and even provided me with a little bit of a social life. Most importantly, it gave me and Maddy the stability that I’d craved so much growing up.

After I’d gotten the job we moved to the Greenwood Village neighborhood so I could be closer to work and Maddy could go to some of the best schools in the state, even if they came with little bullies like Sara. The house was the smallest one in the neighborhood, and came with an outrageous price tag which took up most of my salary, but it was worth it. I didn’t mind the sacrifice. I was determined to give Maddy a better life than I ever had. I owed that to her…

And I owed it to Daisy.

So far, so good.

I threw on my scrubs, put our breakfast dishes away and slid into my car, saying a little prayer that it didn’t give me any trouble today. My old Honda was on its last leg and I couldn’t afford to buy a new one just yet. With the rent and Maddy’s doctor bills, my budget was stretched thinner than ever, and I was praying the car lasted just a little bit longer. Luckily, it started right up, and as I made my way to the clinic I took a deep breath, breathing in the clean mountain air that I loved so much. I had a long day to get through. They’d scheduled appointments with two new patients and I still had three other sessions as well. I just hoped I could finish up in time to meet Maddy after school.