“I do remember,” I find the courage to say. Because I hope whatever I can remember is the actual truth and I’m not missing anything, any details that might hurt her.
“What? What do you remember?”
“I remember that night. I remember us.”
It’s a long silent vacuum we stand in together, the lull of the crowd behind us but a distant and insignificant hum. The world spinning around us like it does. Nothing matters but this, us.
“We buried Daryl Palermo and I said we could never be together again.”
Finally, Lucy’s hands rest on my folded arms. We stand there, unable to look each other in the eye a moment, cautiously optimistic of what this connection means. She’s not alone to shoulder that burden again. I’m here with her.
I pull her into me. I feel tears stinging at my eyes but I don’t let them fall. She holds me tighter.
“You didn’t kill him though,” she says quietly.
I retreat a little bit. “How do you know that?”
“Why did you say you did it? Why did you have me believing that for all these years?”
“I…Shit…”
“We could’ve been together. If you were honest and told me that old piece of shit did it, we could’ve…”
“It’s not that simple, Luce. You were a witness. Mac would’ve used you. He would have blackmailed us both… You think I wanted you dancing in Big Sal’s just so we could be together? Fuck no. I didn’t want to pull you into the club’s business and despite every effort, I fucking did anyway. I wanted you to see me as a monster so it’d be easier to forget me.”
She falls against the bike and bends half over, unable to breath steadily. I hold her a while, letting it all sink in.
She’s dead silent.
“My hand grips her neck and I kiss her forehead. “You don’t need to bear the weight of this. If I could take it all from you, I would find a way.”
“You were looking for me when you crashed your bike, weren’t you?”
“You were the last good memory left in my life. I’ve thought about you every single fucking day since you left,” I said. “I couldn’t just leave the club… Not with my head still on my shoulders. I wanted to see you one more time…”
“Why did you make me leave? I would have stayed with you Landon…”
“I’d made my choice to be an outlaw and I couldn’t put that on you. You deserve the best of everything, Lucy. Everything. Daryl wasn’t the father you deserved and I wasn’t the boyfriend…”
“You were. And you were the boyfriend I wanted, too. You were everything to me, Landon. My whole world. Every happy memory, every laugh, every good time. What the fuck?”
She backs away from me to take a stroll and a breather.
“Lucy…”
“Mac tried to rape me at the motel. Gagged me with a rag. Drew his knife.” She says it clearly, straightly, powerfully.
“W—What?”
“He’s probably on his way here to kill us both and then what do we have? All I want is to just fucking be with YOU!” She’s talking to the Gods more than me but I’m with her every word. “Is that too much to ask? To just be with the person I fucking love?!”
Any pain I felt post-fight drifts into pure, unadulterated rage. My raw fists clench.
“He threatened me, said he’d go to the cops and tell them where we buried Daryl. I…I ca…” She trails off.
I embrace her tightly as if to squeeze her fears from her to take them for myself. “Hey, hey. You don’t cry. That fucker doesn’t even know where he’s buried. I chose the spot. He has nothing on you. Nothing. Luce.”
“I…I’m so scared.”
“Boys!” I yell to the crowd, knowing my next move I have to make.
“W—What’re you going to do?” Lucy says, taking my hands probably worried I’ll do some more damage that will keep us apart.
“I’m going to make this alright again. Where is he, darlin’?”
“Th—the motel was where I left him.”
“And you stole his bike?”
We smile at each other as she nods. “Good girl,” I tell her with a kiss on her head. “He’s probably back at the club. That’s walking distance from the motel…”
“What do you need, brother?” Garrett says from behind me.
“We need Mac gone. Tonight. I want him out of this club. We need a vote of no confidence and I want you all with me.”
They look at each other nervously. “The fuck is this coming from? You get hit in the head too many times?” Rev says. “We don’t discuss this shit outside church.”
“Then let’s go to church.” I take Lucy’s hand in mine and pull her into me. “That prick thinks he can get away with anymore of this psychopathic, manipulative bullshit with me, he’s got another thing coming. He put his hands on my girl tonight and he’s going to fucking pay.”
I see Mia’s face in the distance. Her lips draw tight as she moves in behind Rev.
“Will you stand with me?” I say to my brothers.
Slowly, more members move closer to hear what the commotion’s about. Lucy tucks in further behind me and clamps my hand tighter. I feel this urgency, we have to do this tonight or that’s the end of us.
“I need a vote of no confidence! Mac just tried to rape Lucy, and I’m not fucking standing for that.”
Mia squeaks. “You can’t get rid of Mac. We had an agreement.”
“You had an agreement with his dick. There is no fucking agreement. Not anymore.”
“F—Fine, fuck you. I’m outta this. Best be believing my daddy’s gonna have something to say. Kiss our fucking deal goodbye.”
“I’m sure we’ll get through it.”
“Don’t,” Rev catches her arm. “Don’t go.”
“Why not? Seems like I’m not welcome with the new meat in town.”
“Stay,” Rev orders. “You don’t need Landon and you don’t need Mac. You can ride with me.”
I see it all over Rev’s face. He’s had his sights on this girl the whole time. I don’t have time for this right now…
“Find Mac. It’s time for church.”
Chapter 27
Lucy wraps her arms tightly around my torso as we cruise up the back roads toward the clubhouse. I’ve never felt so powerful. I don’t feel an urge to run from my problems. With Lucy here, I’m whole again. I have a plan. I’ll see it through.
My heart is racing. I can’t let go of Lucy… I can’t let go of her ever again. I can keep her saf
e, but not so long as Mac is part of my fucking life.
Maybe it won’t even make it to a vote… All I know is the darkness ends here. Tonight.
The club is with me. I’ll speak my mind and they’ll vote with me. I’m sure of it. Most of the club fears Mac more than they respect him. I ride with the Dragons, and they ride with me. The roar of our engines falls silent as we park outside the club.
“He’s here,” I tell Lucy as we step off the bike.
“How do you know?” she asks.
“I could smell his shitty cigars half a mile out.”
I nod to Rev and Garret and they wave the rest of the club inside. Crossing the threshold feels different this time. A wave of dread flows inside its silent walls. The girls have went home, the club is dark. Mac is waiting here, he knows what’s coming… He’s ready for me.
I find him right where I expect him to be… At the head of the table.
He’s not wearing his most recent cut. I can see he’s wearing his originals. They were retired years ago, the tattered leather showing a decade of the worst kind of abuse. A bullet hole in the side, a knife wound, blood and beer spilled on its flanks. Normally originals only come out on special occasions.
I guess this qualified.
“We have to talk,” I say, gripping Lucy’s hand tightly.
Mac stands up, looking first to Lucy then back at me. “You sure you wanna do this in front of the girl?”
He’s not as collected as usual. His voice is a little shakier.
“I think I can handle it, Mac,” she says.
“Then you won’t mind me beating the life out of your lover boy here, will you?”
“We’re not here to fight. We’re here for church,” I say, stepping up to Mac.
He looks at Lucy and smiles, then lands a strong crack across my jaw. I trip backwards from the sheer force of his fist. My head feels shaken in my skull. Everything seems a little further away but I have to fight through it.
I hold a palm to my already-split cheek and snarl, a sharp migraine piercing through my temple. “You feel better now, old man? You always did love a good sucker-punch, didn’t you?”