Rowdy Boy

A smile forms on my lips. I thought I had to go get her phone number again myself, but she beat me to it. Damn.

Mo: Hey, thanks! Glad you got my nr. I was trying to get the note back from Cole, but he wouldn’t budge. Ariane was right when she said he’s an asshole

Mel: No worries. He tries to mess with literally every girl he meets. Just ignore him

Mo: Will do, definitely

Mel: Some of us from school are meeting up at this club later. There’s an indie concert with lots of different bands playing. Thought you might like it

Mo: Are you kidding? I’d love to!

Mel: Great, meet me there at 8. I’ll text you the address

Not long after, I get another text with an actual address in it, and it definitely makes this day a whole lot better.

Someone knocks on my door, and I lower my phone.

“Monica?” Mom enters my room. “How was your first day? Did it go well?”

“Yeah, sure. Fine,” I lie.

I don’t want to worry her. She’s already worried enough about me.

“You sure? I mean, you came home, and you didn’t even grab a Coke like you normally do,” she says, stepping farther inside.

I clear my throat. “I was just busy texting, I guess.” I shrug. It didn’t cross my mind.

She frowns. “With who?” A sudden smile overwhelms her face. “Did you make new friends already?”

“Mom.” I roll my eyes. “It’s just school.”

“I’m just happy you’re doing okay,” she says. “Is it a girl … or a boy?”

Of course she’d worry about that. “Relax, no penises involved.”

She makes a face. “I didn’t say that.”

“No, I know, but I know what you mean when you ask,” I say. “You can stop worrying about me. I’m fine.”

“I just don’t want anyone to … well, you know …”

Use me. I get it. She won’t say it out loud. It’s like this forbidden word that never gets uttered, but we all know it’s hanging in the air.

“I know, I know. There are no boys, so don’t worry. Just assholes.” I laugh it off, but it’s not really that funny.

“Okay,” she mumbles. “I trust you.”

That means a lot to me. I just hope it’s true.

“Soooo … about that friend I made. She kind of invited me to a party tonight,” I say, tucking my hands into my back pocket. “It’s not a big deal. It’s just an indie concert in a club.”

“Oh.” My mom makes a weird face that I don’t know how to describe because it shows all kinds of emotions, from surprised, to worried, to angry, to fearful.

“Are you … sure you’re ready for that?” she asks. “I mean, what if it goes wrong again?”

I swallow back the nerves. She means well, but sometimes it’s almost as if she blames me for what happened. “I don’t want what happened to me to hold me back. I want to be happy again, Mom. I just want things to be normal.”

She nods. “I understand. You’re a teen.”

I don’t know whether to take that as a compliment or an insult.

She grabs my shoulders, and says, “If you think you’re ready, then it’s fine by me.”

I smile. “Thanks. That means a lot to me.”

She pulls me in for a big hug. “I’m proud of you, always. Remember that. Nothing will ever stop me from loving you.”

“I know,” I reply. “I love you too, Mom.”

“What time does it start?” she asks.

“Um … in like three hours, so there’s plenty of time.”

“Will you be eating dinner with us?” she asks hesitantly.

“I’d love to,” I say with a genuine smile.

Dinner at home. Before, I never used to consider it my favorite place to be, but right now, normalcy is the only thing I crave.

A month earlier

Falcon Elite Prep

Breathe.

Just breathe.

You can get through this.

It’s just school. It’s nothing special. You’ve walked down these halls a million times before, and you can do it again.

The little voice inside my head sounds like my mom. It doesn’t make it any easier.

It feels as though her hand is on my shoulder as I approach the school doors. She told me she’d be here, in spirit, walking right alongside me. Even though I brushed it off when she said it, now more than ever do I need her strong voice supporting me.

This school and all the pain it harbors for me … is my biggest hurdle yet.

It’s the first time in months that I’m back here, back where I left behind everything I ever knew and cared about, just so I could repair what another had broken.

Just so I could mend my heart and heal the scars a boy left on my soul.

A boy whose name even now I refuse to say out loud.

He broke me.

He broke the trust I had in people, and now it’ll take months, maybe even years, to rebuild.