Rowdy Boy

Then Cole looks in my direction, almost as if he could sense I was here.

Our eyes connect, and at that moment, images of him sliding his hands down my body reappear at the forefront of my mind. The look in his eyes, filled with fervor and hunger, makes me gulp. Even though I’m wearing a bikini, I’ve never felt more nude than I do now.

That familiar half-smile on his face forces me to stop and watch as he approaches the edge of the rock. He stares down at the water, just one second, then glances back at me.

He takes a leap and jumps.

More squeals follow as excited girls wait in line to get some attention from him. But the second he rises out of the water, body glistening in the bonfire, hair slick and thrown back, he immediately looks my way. And no matter how hard I try, I can’t take my eyes off him either.

Suddenly, someone grabs my shoulders and pulls me out of my trance. “Here.” It’s Mel, and she pushes a cup in my hand. “You okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” I laugh, trying to shake it off.

“You weren’t looking at those TRIGGER boys, were you?” she asks, but a fiendish smile immediately follows. “Fuck, you’re one of them now.”

I quickly punch her arm in a playful way. “Fuck no. You wish.”

She laughs. “Good. I don’t wanna lose a new friend to those fuckers so soon already.”

“I’m not gonna make any promises, though,” I reply, not wanting to lie when I know damn well what’s happening between Cole and me.

She narrows her eyes. “You’re hiding something.” She nudges me with her elbow. “Spill it.”

“It’s nothing,” I say.

“You don’t have to lie,” she muses. “I know you’ve got a crush on Cole.”

“What?” I gasp, adrenaline shooting through my veins. “I do not.”

“It’s fine. Half the school does,” she says. “Just as long as you don’t become one of those screaming groupies, I’m good.”

I laugh. “Hell no. That’s so not me. If I ever get that desperate, I give you permission to slap me.”

Now she’s the one to laugh. “I’ll hold you to that.”

“Good,” I say, and I take a sip of my drink, which burns my throat so hard it makes me cough and spill half on the ground. “Jesus.”

Mel laughs even harder. “I was wondering what your reaction would be. It’s always fun to see.”

“Fuck, that was a trap, wasn’t it?” I try to swallow back the tears. That was some thick alcoholic juice.

“Nah, they always make it that way for the bonfire. Spice things up, you know.” She winks and bumps her hips against mine. “So what do you say we go for a swim?”

“Hell yeah.” I put my drink down next to my bag. I’m not supposed to leave it unsupervised, but there’s no way I’m taking another sip of that bomb.

I follow her to the lake, which is teeming with people. Everyone’s dancing in the water, making out, throwing balls, having fun. I recognize a lot of people from school, who also happen to have classes early in the morning. A lot of people must be here without the permission of their parents, which makes it even more exciting. Old Monica would’ve jumped at the opportunity, so I want to give this my all and enjoy the evening like I’m supposed to.

And as Mel wades into the water to join the party, I make a running start and jump in so hard the water splashes everywhere. It’s invigorating, and seeing everyone laugh and smile is the icing on the cake. This is what I used to love, to be at the center of attention. The good kind. And when the music blares from the speakers, I’m in my element, dancing to the rhythm and jumping up and down in the water.

The night has now covered the land in pitch-black darkness, with only the bonfire lighting the area. There are tension and excitement among the partygoers, and some of them bump into me on and off, causing me to go under quite a few times. I don’t like how it feels, like I can’t breathe, so I quickly move away from the biggest crowd and watch them dance and bump each other. There are people kissing and swimming, probably fucking too, and I’m not sure I want to be part of that right now.

That’s when I spot them. Students … from my old school.

They’re here? At this party?

Who invited them?

Or did they always go here … and I just never knew?

Questions flood my mind as the memory of everyone looking at me while I walked those hallways with shame fills me with anxiety.

I wanted to leave it all behind, but I can’t. No matter how hard I try, my past will always follow me.