Sins of Sevin
“No, you really shouldn’t be here.”
She started to back away. “I can go. I—”
“Let me finish. You really shouldn’t have come here, but I’m really glad you did.”
“Do you mind if I take off my jacket? It’s kind of wet. I was standing outside for the longest time contemplating whether I should knock on your door.”
“Please.” I took the coat from her. “Sit down. Relax. Can I make you something?”
She followed me into the kitchen and took a seat at the small counter. “Do you even have food here?”
“I dabble in making…” I hesitated and chuckled. “Pop Tarts.”
Laughter replaced her crying as she wiped her eyes. “Pop Tarts! How gourmet of you.”
“You want one?”
“I’d love a Pop Tart, actually.”
I popped two frosted strawberry ones into the toaster. Winking, I said, “Only the best in my house.”
When I handed her a plate, she took a bite of the pastry. “This is the best thing I’ve eaten all day. Is this what you do when you’re alone? Sit around eating Pop Tarts?”
Pouring her a tall glass of milk and sliding it toward her, I smiled. “Sometimes.”
“What else do you do when you come back here at night?”
Besides jerking off to thoughts of you? Well…
“Lately? I’ve just been listening to music, doing a lot of thinking.”
Evangeline took a long sip of milk then said, “Even though you weren’t happy back in Oklahoma, it must be strange starting an entirely new life.”
“Yeah…it kind of is, but aside from my brothers, there really was nothing back there for me. I’m grateful for the opportunity your father’s given me.” Taking her empty plate, I said, “Enough about me. Tell me about tonight. What happened?”
“Adelaide called me crying to tell me that Lorraine had died. It wasn’t a shock. We were all expecting it, but I still needed to be there for her. It was dark out, so biking it wasn’t an option. I knew that Daddy would never willingly give me the car. So, I just felt like I had no choice but to take it.”
“I respect you for that. You knew you’d have to suffer the repercussions of stealing the car, but you did what you had to for your friend.”
“What other choice is there?”
“When he says he’s gonna punish you, what does he mean?”
“Daddy’s never hit me, if that’s what you’re asking.”
“That’s exactly what I wanted to know. I’m glad to hear that.”
“He’ll probably take away my bike for a while, which is actually going to be a problem since I need to help Adelaide around the repair shop over the next few days.”
“I’ll drive you if you need to get there.”
“Thanks, but I don’t want to make trouble for you, Sevin. I’ll figure something out.” She walked over to the old CD player in the corner of the room. “What kind of music do you listen to?”
“My taste varies.”
I still had a lot of my father’s CDs from when I was younger and before Lillian banned any non-Christian music. Evangeline lifted one of them. “Oh my God. I love The Smiths! I didn’t think anyone else listened to this kind of music but me. Which album of theirs is your favorite?”
“Probably The Queen is Dead.”
“No way. Hatful of Hollow.”
“Wow. Impressive.” I walked toward where she was standing. “I swear, Evangeline. I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone like you in my life.”
“Because I’m so weird?”
“When I say you’re weird, I do not mean that in a bad way. You know that, right? You’re just so different from other girls I’ve known.”
“You must have known a lot of girls back in Oklahoma, I take it?”
“I’ve never had an actual girlfriend before Elle.”
“How is that possible? You seem like the type that would have had many.”
We stood staring at each other, and I got a sudden urge to open up to her. I wanted to tell her everything that was eating away at me even if I couldn’t figure out why that was important. It just was for some reason. My heartbeat accelerated. “I’ve had sex…just not a serious relationship.”
She looked down as if to process that information before meeting my gaze again. “I figured that you probably weren’t a virgin. Does Elle know that?”
“I tried to start a conversation about all of that stuff one night. I told her that I’d done some bad things in my life, things she wouldn’t agree with. I wanted her to know everything before we’re married, to see if that mattered to her.”
“She didn’t let you tell her?”
“She said she didn’t want to know, that God forgives me as long as I accept Him.”
“She knows what she can handle. I think she might suspect that you’ve had sex, Sevin. It’s not that bad of a thing anyway. I don’t think Elle has the same expectations of you as those that are placed upon us by our parents. She just expects you to be a good husband to her once you’re married.”
“It wasn’t just that I had sex.”
“It’s none of my business.”
Then, I blurted out, “I slept with a married woman.”
She stepped back a bit, looking a little shocked. “Oh.”